MONDO EXTRAS

I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Profit voice-overs yet another character motivation, saying that Pete's Wife, married to a loser drunk, must wonder, "Is that all there is? All there'll ever be?" Profit shows up at Pete's Wife's house. She is all dressed up, and they exchange "You look good"s. Profit wears a tux, which Pete's Wife calls "a suit." Man, Pete must never take her anywhere nice if she doesn't know the difference. Profit comes in, and we learn, apparently, that he went straight from squash to pick her up at this, their tennis cabana of Pete-passing-out fame. Profit just "happened" to have his tux in the locker room. How convenient! Profit quotes some Shakespeare to Pete's Wife, and they bond over Midsummer's being their favorite play. Any girl who can't see through that shit deserves to get used by Profit. And while it is an exceptional amount of fun to watch Profit cut through all these people with charm and lies, it would be nice if some of them were his match, or at least close to it. Or, I guess that's Joanne's job.

Banquet. Everyone wears AIDS ribbons. Really, those were much better-looking than the ugly yellow Livestrong rubber bracelets are. (What? C'mon, it's true.) And they go much better with formalwear. Profit and Pete's Wife dance, and she talks about wanting to go back to college for her lit degree, but Pete doesn't want her to. She mentions maybe getting out of the house and going to work. Profit quotes some depressing Shakespeare line, and she suggests that she isn't that sad...but changes her mind and admits that she is.

Just then, Bobbi (Profit's kissy stepmama) enters, but is thrown out by the tiny white security guard after the giant black one lets her go right past him. Profit tells Pete's Wife that he has to go attend to this, and kisses her on the cheek, leaving her swooning.

Profit leads the clearly drunk 'n high Bobbi (who claims she was lonely and broke) out of the banquet as people watch, curious. Ooh, messin' with Profit's scams? She in trouble.

Profit leads Bobbi into a super-nice apartment, telling her that it's now hers. She's very happy, imagining all the heroin and tricks she could do up there, until Profit gets creepy, walking around pillars while telling her how much privacy the place affords, and how thick the walls are. "You can even scream your head off," he says. "Nobody would ever hear you." She nervously says that she was never much of a screamer, and Profit says that's not what he remembers. Yikes. I don't even think The O.C. would attempt dialogue like this. Profit goes on to say that you could even "fire a gun" here, and no one would hear. Profit pulls something out of a drawer and then approaches Bobbi, wondering why she's shaking. I'm guessing they're not about to kiss again. Profit then upsets everybody but the agent and manager to the mousy actor who plays Bobbi when he doesn't kill her, but hands her a bunch of money instead. He leaves.

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I'm The Man In The Box

by Stee November 9, 2005
Profit: Pilot

Profit voice-overs yet another character motivation, saying that Pete's Wife, married to a loser drunk, must wonder, "Is that all there is? All there'll ever be?" Profit shows up at Pete's Wife's house. She is all dressed up, and they exchange "You look good"s. Profit wears a tux, which Pete's Wife calls "a suit." Man, Pete must never take her anywhere nice if she doesn't know the difference. Profit comes in, and we learn, apparently, that he went straight from squash to pick her up at this, their tennis cabana of Pete-passing-out fame. Profit just "happened" to have his tux in the locker room. How convenient! Profit quotes some Shakespeare to Pete's Wife, and they bond over Midsummer's being their favorite play. Any girl who can't see through that shit deserves to get used by Profit. And while it is an exceptional amount of fun to watch Profit cut through all these people with charm and lies, it would be nice if some of them were his match, or at least close to it. Or, I guess that's Joanne's job.

Banquet. Everyone wears AIDS ribbons. Really, those were much better-looking than the ugly yellow Livestrong rubber bracelets are. (What? C'mon, it's true.) And they go much better with formalwear. Profit and Pete's Wife dance, and she talks about wanting to go back to college for her lit degree, but Pete doesn't want her to. She mentions maybe getting out of the house and going to work. Profit quotes some depressing Shakespeare line, and she suggests that she isn't that sad...but changes her mind and admits that she is.

Just then, Bobbi (Profit's kissy stepmama) enters, but is thrown out by the tiny white security guard after the giant black one lets her go right past him. Profit tells Pete's Wife that he has to go attend to this, and kisses her on the cheek, leaving her swooning.

Profit leads the clearly drunk 'n high Bobbi (who claims she was lonely and broke) out of the banquet as people watch, curious. Ooh, messin' with Profit's scams? She in trouble.

Profit leads Bobbi into a super-nice apartment, telling her that it's now hers. She's very happy, imagining all the heroin and tricks she could do up there, until Profit gets creepy, walking around pillars while telling her how much privacy the place affords, and how thick the walls are. "You can even scream your head off," he says. "Nobody would ever hear you." She nervously says that she was never much of a screamer, and Profit says that's not what he remembers. Yikes. I don't even think The O.C. would attempt dialogue like this. Profit goes on to say that you could even "fire a gun" here, and no one would hear. Profit pulls something out of a drawer and then approaches Bobbi, wondering why she's shaking. I'm guessing they're not about to kiss again. Profit then upsets everybody but the agent and manager to the mousy actor who plays Bobbi when he doesn't kill her, but hands her a bunch of money instead. He leaves.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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