As you've probably heard ad nauseam, Bob Barker's last episode of The Price Is Right -- and, we presume, of anything else; dude's eighty-three, after all -- airs Friday, June 15. TPIR won't feel the same without the White Fox of Television City, but the show is forging ahead without him. Who will assume Barker's skinny mic? Who will sexually harass the TPIR models? (Allegedly.) (Although we're pretty sure the Beauties won those lawsuits.) Who will smile politely when contestants assert that detergent costs eleven dollars?

The grapevine has proposed everyone from the E! Channel's Todd Newton (who?) to George "Tandolph Tantooth" Hamilton (...huh) to the current host of Family Feud, John O'Hurley (whoa), but we've got a few casting suggestions of our own. Future hosts of The Price Is Right, come on down...

Wayne Brady
PROS: Friendly, likable, and could bring improvised song stylings back to daytime.
CONS: Of all the Whose Line Is It Anyway? alumni, aren't you pulling harder for Colin Mochrie?

Katie Couric
PROS: Proven track record with meaningless daytime happy talk; may be available to take a new gig soon.
CONS: Probably thinks she's got too much gravitas for TPIR, which is sort of sad, for her.

Richard Dawson
PROS: Luring Dick D. out of retirement for a cross-generationally appealing victory lap would generate press attention on an unprecedented scale.
CONS: The last time we saw Dawson, 1) he was visibly intoxicated and 2) his silhouette resembled that of a blueberry; said attention is not guaranteed to be positive. If the aggressive mediocrity of Richard Karn didn't bring him out of seclusion to defend Feud's honor, it's doubtful anything will.

Ricki Lake
PROS: Hosted TPIR -- and plenty of other classic game shows -- in last summer's Game Show Marathon.
CONS: Did you see her skinny ass in Us Weekly? She didn't drop all that weight just to get back into daytime.

Wink Martindale
PROS: Beloved host of Tic Tac Dough still enjoys strong name recognition with The Kids Today.
CONS: We hate those Orbitz ads -- and the worst thing about them is Martindale's oogy eye-lift. Also, he's old.

Rosie O'Donnell
PROS: Has been campaigning to fill the position for months; already has plenty of experience in daytime.
CONS: Aggressive and probably ultimately fruitless campaign has made her the Sean Young of the '00s.

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As you've probably heard ad nauseam, Bob Barker's last episode of The Price Is Right -- and, we presume, of anything else; dude's eighty-three, after all -- airs Friday, June 15. TPIR won't feel the same without the White Fox of Television City, but the show is forging ahead without him. Who will assume Barker's skinny mic? Who will sexually harass the TPIR models? (Allegedly.) (Although we're pretty sure the Beauties won those lawsuits.) Who will smile politely when contestants assert that detergent costs eleven dollars?

The grapevine has proposed everyone from the E! Channel's Todd Newton (who?) to George "Tandolph Tantooth" Hamilton (...huh) to the current host of Family Feud, John O'Hurley (whoa), but we've got a few casting suggestions of our own. Future hosts of The Price Is Right, come on down...

Wayne Brady
PROS: Friendly, likable, and could bring improvised song stylings back to daytime.
CONS: Of all the Whose Line Is It Anyway? alumni, aren't you pulling harder for Colin Mochrie?

Katie Couric
PROS: Proven track record with meaningless daytime happy talk; may be available to take a new gig soon.
CONS: Probably thinks she's got too much gravitas for TPIR, which is sort of sad, for her.

Richard Dawson
PROS: Luring Dick D. out of retirement for a cross-generationally appealing victory lap would generate press attention on an unprecedented scale.
CONS: The last time we saw Dawson, 1) he was visibly intoxicated and 2) his silhouette resembled that of a blueberry; said attention is not guaranteed to be positive. If the aggressive mediocrity of Richard Karn didn't bring him out of seclusion to defend Feud's honor, it's doubtful anything will.

Ricki Lake
PROS: Hosted TPIR -- and plenty of other classic game shows -- in last summer's Game Show Marathon.
CONS: Did you see her skinny ass in Us Weekly? She didn't drop all that weight just to get back into daytime.

Wink Martindale
PROS: Beloved host of Tic Tac Dough still enjoys strong name recognition with The Kids Today.
CONS: We hate those Orbitz ads -- and the worst thing about them is Martindale's oogy eye-lift. Also, he's old.

Rosie O'Donnell
PROS: Has been campaigning to fill the position for months; already has plenty of experience in daytime.
CONS: Aggressive and probably ultimately fruitless campaign has made her the Sean Young of the '00s.

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