MONDO EXTRAS

Are you kidding us with this?

by Potes May 8, 2005
Riding the Bus with My Sister

Queer Commercial Number Four: "Laura Davis, please report to the principal's office." A reformed troublemaker enters the office looking anxious. The principal sternly tells her to close the door and sit down. She then shuffles some papers for a few moments, and Laura starts explaining that she didn't do anything, and blah blah defensiveness. And then guess what the principal does? She gives Laura a Hallmark Card. Meaningful looks as Laura says, "You're proud of me?" Oh, I am so sure.

And then Number Five. Lesbian niece sits down at a table with her cranky elderly uncle who is in a nursing home, playing solitaire. He immediately asks who died. She smiles and says nobody. He notes that they sent her to check up on him. He says that the report is he's been very bad. She says she didn't have to come "all this way" to figure that out, and that it just seemed like a nice day to stop by her favorite old uncle's place. She says that she has something that's taking up a lot of space in her purse, and that she would like to unload it. And guess what it is? Say it with me now: a Hallmark Card! He asks how she remembered and she says, "It's two days after my dad's." Cranky uncle cranks that birthdays are for kids, and niece says that he's a big kid so he should open the card anyway. He looks at it and then starts laughing uproariously. She chuckles too. Meaningful looks are exchanged. He says that after all these years he didn't know she had a sense of humor. She says, "I got it from my uncle," and then stands up and leaves. I'm sorry, but she has been there for exactly one minute and thirty seven seconds. If you're not going to at least stay for a game of canasta, then just put the thing in the mail. God. Cranky uncle gets less cranky and tells everyone at the home that it's his birthday. They give him an extra serving of tapioca to celebrate the occasion.

When we return, the sisters are going to do their laundry. Beth tells Rachel to avoid the number two washer, which doesn't work so well. Suddenly, a sketchy guy in a big brown sedan pulls over and tells Beth he has something for her. It's a stuffed Tweety Bird. And okay, my mom totally has that too. Rgh. I wonder if she watched this. Beth scowls and harshly grabs the bird. Rachel asks who he is and Beth says not to look at him, and that he's got to be a creep because he gives her stuff every day. And this is the last we see of this guy, whose mysterious purpose was, I guess, to show us that people are out to take advantage of Beth. But Beth is wise. Still, it's kind of random and very "hey little girl I've got some candy in my car," which I find unnecessary unless I'm watching Law & Order: SVU.

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Are you kidding us with this?

by Potes May 8, 2005
Riding the Bus with My Sister

Queer Commercial Number Four: "Laura Davis, please report to the principal's office." A reformed troublemaker enters the office looking anxious. The principal sternly tells her to close the door and sit down. She then shuffles some papers for a few moments, and Laura starts explaining that she didn't do anything, and blah blah defensiveness. And then guess what the principal does? She gives Laura a Hallmark Card. Meaningful looks as Laura says, "You're proud of me?" Oh, I am so sure.

And then Number Five. Lesbian niece sits down at a table with her cranky elderly uncle who is in a nursing home, playing solitaire. He immediately asks who died. She smiles and says nobody. He notes that they sent her to check up on him. He says that the report is he's been very bad. She says she didn't have to come "all this way" to figure that out, and that it just seemed like a nice day to stop by her favorite old uncle's place. She says that she has something that's taking up a lot of space in her purse, and that she would like to unload it. And guess what it is? Say it with me now: a Hallmark Card! He asks how she remembered and she says, "It's two days after my dad's." Cranky uncle cranks that birthdays are for kids, and niece says that he's a big kid so he should open the card anyway. He looks at it and then starts laughing uproariously. She chuckles too. Meaningful looks are exchanged. He says that after all these years he didn't know she had a sense of humor. She says, "I got it from my uncle," and then stands up and leaves. I'm sorry, but she has been there for exactly one minute and thirty seven seconds. If you're not going to at least stay for a game of canasta, then just put the thing in the mail. God. Cranky uncle gets less cranky and tells everyone at the home that it's his birthday. They give him an extra serving of tapioca to celebrate the occasion.

When we return, the sisters are going to do their laundry. Beth tells Rachel to avoid the number two washer, which doesn't work so well. Suddenly, a sketchy guy in a big brown sedan pulls over and tells Beth he has something for her. It's a stuffed Tweety Bird. And okay, my mom totally has that too. Rgh. I wonder if she watched this. Beth scowls and harshly grabs the bird. Rachel asks who he is and Beth says not to look at him, and that he's got to be a creep because he gives her stuff every day. And this is the last we see of this guy, whose mysterious purpose was, I guess, to show us that people are out to take advantage of Beth. But Beth is wise. Still, it's kind of random and very "hey little girl I've got some candy in my car," which I find unnecessary unless I'm watching Law & Order: SVU.

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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