MONDO EXTRAS

Are you kidding us with this?

by Potes May 8, 2005
Riding the Bus with My Sister

Beth gets on another bus and gives the driver -- her favorite, Rick -- a coffee. He calls her a savior and she says she's just "Cool Beth." She sits next to a middle-aged woman in a cardigan, who looks uncomfortable. Beth calls her Ms. Boring and asks slyly if she is scaring her, then screams, "BOO! BOO! BOO!" And quite frankly, I kind of feel for Ms. Boring. It's bad enough to have to commute by bus to a job where you're overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated. Sometimes the last thing you need is a large developmentally disabled person screaming at you. Ms. Boring moves, and another guy tells her to pay no mind to Beth, because she's just a harmless retard. He advises Ms. Boring not to make eye contact and Beth yells, "I'M HEARING YOU!" Yes, Beth, and we're hearing you, too. Beth starts trying to fix Rick up with her case worker, Olivia, and then points out a house where "Mean Eugene" lives. Beth thinks he's a jerk, and Rick laughs and says he's just impatient. Beth is mad because Eugene put a sign in the bathroom that said, "Employees Only." And I will just clarify now that Mean Eugene is also a bus driver, and they're talking about the bathroom in the bus drivers' lounge. I went through three-quarters of this movie thinking that Eugene owned a restaurant, which became really confusing when he showed up in a bus drivers' uniform. Rick notes that it didn't stop Beth, and Beth slurs one of her first bits of wisdom, "No: because I'm a person and it's just a bathroom if I use it I don't think I'm hurting anybody." Nonetheless, I would advise against sitting on that particular seat. Beth continues, "Sometimes I go in there if I don't have to go to the bathroom just to wash my hands and make him mad! Hahaha hrr hrr hrrr." Oh, that irrepressible Beth! Lobbying for the indiscriminate use of toilets everywhere.

Rachel is still dealing with her temperamental model. She keeps saying that the shots are lovely. She then tells the model that it's lovely how the sun catches the hair on her cheek. The model gets upset and says she doesn't have a hair growing out of her cheek. And this sadly reminds me of Valentine's Day weekend 2004, mere months after my girlfriend and I had started dating and the morning before our first romantic weekend getaway. We had just finished a lavish pancake breakfast when she moved to wipe something off of my forehead that was glistening in the light. She tugged, and I said, "Ow," and we discovered together that I had a hair about an inch long that was actually growing out of the middle of my forehead. Mortifying. And for the record, I plucked it and it didn't grow back. And it was blonde. But still, awful. Beth continues to go on about mean Eugene, and then welcomes Shanay, a nice, very pregnant lady who clearly is a bus regular and knows her and lets Beth touch her stomach. Beth feels a baby kick and is quite excited. She shows Shanay a picture of her niece and nephew, whom she loves a lot even though she's never met them. She says that her brother always tells her that he's going to bring them over. Ah, yet another heartless sibling! The plot sickens.

Meanwhile, Rachel tells her assistant to give the brush-off to her stepmother, who's calling on the phone. She looks at a photo from the day's shoot and says, "We need to soften this. It's good, but not perfect." And I wonder what else needs to be softened? Perhaps...Rachel's heart?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23Next

Comments

Are you kidding us with this?

by Potes May 8, 2005
Riding the Bus with My Sister

Beth gets on another bus and gives the driver -- her favorite, Rick -- a coffee. He calls her a savior and she says she's just "Cool Beth." She sits next to a middle-aged woman in a cardigan, who looks uncomfortable. Beth calls her Ms. Boring and asks slyly if she is scaring her, then screams, "BOO! BOO! BOO!" And quite frankly, I kind of feel for Ms. Boring. It's bad enough to have to commute by bus to a job where you're overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated. Sometimes the last thing you need is a large developmentally disabled person screaming at you. Ms. Boring moves, and another guy tells her to pay no mind to Beth, because she's just a harmless retard. He advises Ms. Boring not to make eye contact and Beth yells, "I'M HEARING YOU!" Yes, Beth, and we're hearing you, too. Beth starts trying to fix Rick up with her case worker, Olivia, and then points out a house where "Mean Eugene" lives. Beth thinks he's a jerk, and Rick laughs and says he's just impatient. Beth is mad because Eugene put a sign in the bathroom that said, "Employees Only." And I will just clarify now that Mean Eugene is also a bus driver, and they're talking about the bathroom in the bus drivers' lounge. I went through three-quarters of this movie thinking that Eugene owned a restaurant, which became really confusing when he showed up in a bus drivers' uniform. Rick notes that it didn't stop Beth, and Beth slurs one of her first bits of wisdom, "No: because I'm a person and it's just a bathroom if I use it I don't think I'm hurting anybody." Nonetheless, I would advise against sitting on that particular seat. Beth continues, "Sometimes I go in there if I don't have to go to the bathroom just to wash my hands and make him mad! Hahaha hrr hrr hrrr." Oh, that irrepressible Beth! Lobbying for the indiscriminate use of toilets everywhere.

Rachel is still dealing with her temperamental model. She keeps saying that the shots are lovely. She then tells the model that it's lovely how the sun catches the hair on her cheek. The model gets upset and says she doesn't have a hair growing out of her cheek. And this sadly reminds me of Valentine's Day weekend 2004, mere months after my girlfriend and I had started dating and the morning before our first romantic weekend getaway. We had just finished a lavish pancake breakfast when she moved to wipe something off of my forehead that was glistening in the light. She tugged, and I said, "Ow," and we discovered together that I had a hair about an inch long that was actually growing out of the middle of my forehead. Mortifying. And for the record, I plucked it and it didn't grow back. And it was blonde. But still, awful. Beth continues to go on about mean Eugene, and then welcomes Shanay, a nice, very pregnant lady who clearly is a bus regular and knows her and lets Beth touch her stomach. Beth feels a baby kick and is quite excited. She shows Shanay a picture of her niece and nephew, whom she loves a lot even though she's never met them. She says that her brother always tells her that he's going to bring them over. Ah, yet another heartless sibling! The plot sickens.

Meanwhile, Rachel tells her assistant to give the brush-off to her stepmother, who's calling on the phone. She looks at a photo from the day's shoot and says, "We need to soften this. It's good, but not perfect." And I wonder what else needs to be softened? Perhaps...Rachel's heart?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP