MONDO EXTRAS

Are you kidding us with this?

by Potes May 8, 2005
Riding the Bus with My Sister

And then Beth and Jesse are shopping for toilet seats. Jesse prefers one that is soft, but Beth says it's ugly and that no one will sit on it. She says that she's fussy. Remember when Rosie O'Donnell did those K-Mart commercials? I would kind of give anything to see Penny Marshall in the role of Jesse. Beth screams for toilet seat assistance in row number one.

Rachel is picking at sushi while on her cell phone. Her Welsh boyfriend is obviously annoyed. Rachel mentions yet another avoided call from her stepmother. Welsh boyfriend is sick of eating dinner while she's on the phone. She says she turned it off, and then notes that they aren't really talking anyway. He asks what the two of them are going to do and she says she can't have a baby now. BABY HATER ICE QUEEN! He tells her that she's not getting any younger, which makes me want to kick him in the teeth. She says that they discussed getting married in a few years and adopting a baby from China. She really has an Asian fetish. He scoffs. He then says that he wants them to enjoy life and smell the roses. And what's the only way that a woman can enjoy life? Say it with me: By having a baby! Dirty diapers smell like roses, you know. She says that they do enjoy life and there is more stony silence.

Beth, who is wearing her other shirt -- the yellow one with the kittens on it, of course -- dances to soul music playing on her boom box as she gets a snack from the bus drivers' lounge vending machine. Her case worker, Olivia, rushes in and tells Beth that her father has had a heart attack. Beth's smile (and smiling really isn't Rosie O'Donnell's forte in the first place) fades and she starts yelling, "NOOOOOO," and says that her dad is taking her to Super Saver. She rushes out and pushes to the front of the bus line while Olivia tries to tell her that her dad's had surgery. She follows Beth onto the bus, where perceptive Rick asks what's wrong. Olivia explains as Beth fingers her pink fanny pack. And I swear that's not some lesbian-related double entendre. Beth starts freaking out about the bus schedule, because she's avoiding dealing with the situation. Rick stops and asks if he can call someone for Beth. Beth starts yelling that Rick is cute but his clothes are faded which isn't very nice, whereas her clothes are bright and she gives everybody lots of color. Oh, I want to kill myself. She kind of picks at herself while she's yelling this. Rick asks Olivia where Beth's dad is, then tells Beth that her dad's in the hospital. Apparently Rick is some kind of 'tard whisperer, because Beth then yells that she has to go to the hospital. Rick says he'll take her there. He tells the passengers that they're going to take a bit of a detour. Miraculously, no one seems to mind, which kind of makes me long for Cranky Guy and Ms. Boring.

Beth runs into the hospital, yelling, "Where's my daaaaddddddyyyyyyy?" She is greeted by her nasty stepmother, who says that he's in a coma and won't know that Beth is there. Beth says that he will know, and if there's any voice that will make the comatose revive, it is seriously the voice of Beth. She pushes her stepmother out of the way and then starts wailing. Stepmother says she knew that Beth would get upset. Beth yells about how her dad has to wake up because they're going to the Super Saver. Crying, yelling, crying, yelling. Stepmother tells Beth to be quiet, Beth tells stepmother to stop standing around and do something. An orderly gently tries to remove Beth from her father's bedside. He is approximately one eighth of her size, so does not succeed. Stepmother tells Beth that she needs to cooperate and Beth yells, "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" No way did they just bust out with that one. It's like the screenwriter was sitting in front of the computer with her "Melodramatic Cliché See 'N' Say." That night, Beth sits on a bench eating. Beth likes to eat. She is crying quietly. FOR ONCE. She looks at the full moon above, wipes her snot with her arm, and continues mowing on a donut. You know that Rosie loved all the scenes involving donuts.

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Are you kidding us with this?

by Potes May 8, 2005
Riding the Bus with My Sister

And then Beth and Jesse are shopping for toilet seats. Jesse prefers one that is soft, but Beth says it's ugly and that no one will sit on it. She says that she's fussy. Remember when Rosie O'Donnell did those K-Mart commercials? I would kind of give anything to see Penny Marshall in the role of Jesse. Beth screams for toilet seat assistance in row number one.

Rachel is picking at sushi while on her cell phone. Her Welsh boyfriend is obviously annoyed. Rachel mentions yet another avoided call from her stepmother. Welsh boyfriend is sick of eating dinner while she's on the phone. She says she turned it off, and then notes that they aren't really talking anyway. He asks what the two of them are going to do and she says she can't have a baby now. BABY HATER ICE QUEEN! He tells her that she's not getting any younger, which makes me want to kick him in the teeth. She says that they discussed getting married in a few years and adopting a baby from China. She really has an Asian fetish. He scoffs. He then says that he wants them to enjoy life and smell the roses. And what's the only way that a woman can enjoy life? Say it with me: By having a baby! Dirty diapers smell like roses, you know. She says that they do enjoy life and there is more stony silence.

Beth, who is wearing her other shirt -- the yellow one with the kittens on it, of course -- dances to soul music playing on her boom box as she gets a snack from the bus drivers' lounge vending machine. Her case worker, Olivia, rushes in and tells Beth that her father has had a heart attack. Beth's smile (and smiling really isn't Rosie O'Donnell's forte in the first place) fades and she starts yelling, "NOOOOOO," and says that her dad is taking her to Super Saver. She rushes out and pushes to the front of the bus line while Olivia tries to tell her that her dad's had surgery. She follows Beth onto the bus, where perceptive Rick asks what's wrong. Olivia explains as Beth fingers her pink fanny pack. And I swear that's not some lesbian-related double entendre. Beth starts freaking out about the bus schedule, because she's avoiding dealing with the situation. Rick stops and asks if he can call someone for Beth. Beth starts yelling that Rick is cute but his clothes are faded which isn't very nice, whereas her clothes are bright and she gives everybody lots of color. Oh, I want to kill myself. She kind of picks at herself while she's yelling this. Rick asks Olivia where Beth's dad is, then tells Beth that her dad's in the hospital. Apparently Rick is some kind of 'tard whisperer, because Beth then yells that she has to go to the hospital. Rick says he'll take her there. He tells the passengers that they're going to take a bit of a detour. Miraculously, no one seems to mind, which kind of makes me long for Cranky Guy and Ms. Boring.

Beth runs into the hospital, yelling, "Where's my daaaaddddddyyyyyyy?" She is greeted by her nasty stepmother, who says that he's in a coma and won't know that Beth is there. Beth says that he will know, and if there's any voice that will make the comatose revive, it is seriously the voice of Beth. She pushes her stepmother out of the way and then starts wailing. Stepmother says she knew that Beth would get upset. Beth yells about how her dad has to wake up because they're going to the Super Saver. Crying, yelling, crying, yelling. Stepmother tells Beth to be quiet, Beth tells stepmother to stop standing around and do something. An orderly gently tries to remove Beth from her father's bedside. He is approximately one eighth of her size, so does not succeed. Stepmother tells Beth that she needs to cooperate and Beth yells, "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" No way did they just bust out with that one. It's like the screenwriter was sitting in front of the computer with her "Melodramatic Cliché See 'N' Say." That night, Beth sits on a bench eating. Beth likes to eat. She is crying quietly. FOR ONCE. She looks at the full moon above, wipes her snot with her arm, and continues mowing on a donut. You know that Rosie loved all the scenes involving donuts.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23Next

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