MONDO EXTRAS

When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Remember Lindsay's lame brother? Well, he's back, and he's got a boat full of half-eaten sea turtle carcasses. He tosses them around effortlessly, which is pretty funny when you consider that adult green sea turtles weigh between two and three hundred pounds, so even with half of them missing, they're still pretty heavy, especially for a pasty white graduate student like Danny. Danny whips out his tape recorder and tells it that he has found six green sea turtles, all with identical causes of death. Danny tells his only friend that the "inescapable conclusion" is shark attacks. Then he stands around looking concerned while the ominous music plays, because Danny may not be as attractive as the rest of the cast, but goddammit, he's important, too!

We then see Danny, back on dry land, talking to Martin. Danny's unattractively eating a sandwich as he speaks, while Martin is sipping on yet another girly alcoholic drink, like, it might be time to admit you have a problem, Martin. And that you're gay. I'm just saying. Danny tells Martin about how there are sharks in the water, to which Martin responds that yes, there are sharks in Florida, Danny, so DEAL. But Danny says he needs funding and undergrads to help him figure out why all these sharks are around. Martin tells Danny that if he causes a "big stink" and he's wrong, Danny will be lucky if he can get a job as a science teacher in Indiana. Oh, please. Martin needs to learn about the way public schools work in this country. My fifth grade science teacher was also my history, math, and music teacher, and I doubt he had specialized knowledge in any of those fields. But he was a much better teacher than Martin. Martin tells Danny not to be "the boy who cried shark," and goes back to sipping his silly drink.

Our fearful fivesome unload their boat. Karen complains that her fake ID is ruined. You know, on my list of priorities, surviving a shark attack is significantly higher than the status of my fake ID, but that's just me. JT is happy that his beer survived the shark-jostling, and Lindsay is either angry at him for saying that, or finds him adorable. It's impossible to tell with Shannon Lucio's version of emoting. As JT walks off, Lindsay starts looking through other people's things, thereby finding a package of pills -- with one pill missing. Lindsay gets all frowny about this, apparently knowing that the drugs are roofies even though they don't say "roofies" on them and I, probably a billion times less stupidly naïve than Lindsay, would have just assumed they were someone's allergy medicine.

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When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Remember Lindsay's lame brother? Well, he's back, and he's got a boat full of half-eaten sea turtle carcasses. He tosses them around effortlessly, which is pretty funny when you consider that adult green sea turtles weigh between two and three hundred pounds, so even with half of them missing, they're still pretty heavy, especially for a pasty white graduate student like Danny. Danny whips out his tape recorder and tells it that he has found six green sea turtles, all with identical causes of death. Danny tells his only friend that the "inescapable conclusion" is shark attacks. Then he stands around looking concerned while the ominous music plays, because Danny may not be as attractive as the rest of the cast, but goddammit, he's important, too!

We then see Danny, back on dry land, talking to Martin. Danny's unattractively eating a sandwich as he speaks, while Martin is sipping on yet another girly alcoholic drink, like, it might be time to admit you have a problem, Martin. And that you're gay. I'm just saying. Danny tells Martin about how there are sharks in the water, to which Martin responds that yes, there are sharks in Florida, Danny, so DEAL. But Danny says he needs funding and undergrads to help him figure out why all these sharks are around. Martin tells Danny that if he causes a "big stink" and he's wrong, Danny will be lucky if he can get a job as a science teacher in Indiana. Oh, please. Martin needs to learn about the way public schools work in this country. My fifth grade science teacher was also my history, math, and music teacher, and I doubt he had specialized knowledge in any of those fields. But he was a much better teacher than Martin. Martin tells Danny not to be "the boy who cried shark," and goes back to sipping his silly drink.

Our fearful fivesome unload their boat. Karen complains that her fake ID is ruined. You know, on my list of priorities, surviving a shark attack is significantly higher than the status of my fake ID, but that's just me. JT is happy that his beer survived the shark-jostling, and Lindsay is either angry at him for saying that, or finds him adorable. It's impossible to tell with Shannon Lucio's version of emoting. As JT walks off, Lindsay starts looking through other people's things, thereby finding a package of pills -- with one pill missing. Lindsay gets all frowny about this, apparently knowing that the drugs are roofies even though they don't say "roofies" on them and I, probably a billion times less stupidly naïve than Lindsay, would have just assumed they were someone's allergy medicine.

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Comments

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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