MONDO EXTRAS

When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

The kids have made themselves a bonfire on the island beach. "What are we doing here?" wonders Karen. Seriously. It doesn't make any sense that they're stuck on a deserted island right now, not to mention it drastically lowers their chances of getting eaten by a shark. Lindsay sits away from the group, because she's unlikable. JT shoots her some scary rapist looks as Karen and Alicia talk about how much SPRING BREAK sucks and Shane does something with his studly fishing knife. It should be noted that no one is drinking any beer, which, if I were stranded on a deserted island after almost getting eaten by sharks, I'd be doing lots of. Shane leaves to get some more wood for their perfectly-constructed fire, and Lindsay asks JT if he "[has] a second" to talk to her. Because there's no better time to talk to a possible rapist than when you're on a deserted island and the guy with the knife is off somewhere else. Lindsay also makes JT walk over to her, even though she wanted to talk to him, which is rude. Lindsay tells JT that she doesn't remember anything that happened last night, even though she doesn't remember drinking anything. Was she drugged? JT cleverly mentions that Shane was the person who gave her that soda, and put her in bed. Lindsay makes her "conflicted" face, and leaves.

She finds Shane by the beach, drawing in the sand and not really looking for wood at all. She says she remembers kissing him last night. Shane says he's glad she does, thereby making himself look like quite the date rape suspect, eh? But Lindsay has some father issues to discuss, so she talks about how she tried to be an adult, and totally failed at it, and her father was right about her all along. Which is true. Then she makes some comment about not knowing what would be worse, "having [her father] around or not," a comment that doesn't do much to make me believe that she's mature. Also, Lindsay? Next time you bitch about your dad and making references to wishing he was dead, you might want to think about your audience, and make sure it's not a guy who doesn't have a father at all. It's a good thing girls with daddy issues are Shane's scene.

Lindsay pulls the roofies out of her pocket and tells Shane she doesn't think he's the one who gave them to her, because there isn't much time left in this movie and we still have to see the climatic shark attacks, so we don't have time to wrongly accuse people of attempted rape. Although, if she knew JT was the one who drugged her all along, WHY on EARTH did she call him over to a secluded area and ask him about it? What could that have possibly accomplished? Shane also assumes that the drugs are roofies, and storms off to confront JT. Lindsay acts like she didn't totally want this to happen as she half-heartedly tells him to stop. Shane punches JT in the face, and the girls have to pull them off of each other. Shane shows JT the roofies, saying he found them on the boat. JT says that it's Shane's boat, then tries, again, to make it look like Shane was the one who drugged Lindsay. He says that Shane must have put something in Lindsay's soda, to which Shane and Lindsay point out that Shane gave the sodas to JT, and there was no way he could have known which of the two sodas JT was going to give to Lindsay. Karen and Alicia make shocked faces, probably because they, like me, thought this was going to be a movie about shark attacks and not some weird Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? rip-off. Shane pronounces the entire situation "messed up," and storms off, which leaves three defenseless women with an angry rapist. Lindsay runs over to Shane, and says she's sorry she "doubted" him, although I'm not sure when that happened. Shane says he's sorry JT tried to rape her. Meanwhile, Karen and Alicia are sorry that they have been left alone with a rapist.

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When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

The kids have made themselves a bonfire on the island beach. "What are we doing here?" wonders Karen. Seriously. It doesn't make any sense that they're stuck on a deserted island right now, not to mention it drastically lowers their chances of getting eaten by a shark. Lindsay sits away from the group, because she's unlikable. JT shoots her some scary rapist looks as Karen and Alicia talk about how much SPRING BREAK sucks and Shane does something with his studly fishing knife. It should be noted that no one is drinking any beer, which, if I were stranded on a deserted island after almost getting eaten by sharks, I'd be doing lots of. Shane leaves to get some more wood for their perfectly-constructed fire, and Lindsay asks JT if he "[has] a second" to talk to her. Because there's no better time to talk to a possible rapist than when you're on a deserted island and the guy with the knife is off somewhere else. Lindsay also makes JT walk over to her, even though she wanted to talk to him, which is rude. Lindsay tells JT that she doesn't remember anything that happened last night, even though she doesn't remember drinking anything. Was she drugged? JT cleverly mentions that Shane was the person who gave her that soda, and put her in bed. Lindsay makes her "conflicted" face, and leaves.

She finds Shane by the beach, drawing in the sand and not really looking for wood at all. She says she remembers kissing him last night. Shane says he's glad she does, thereby making himself look like quite the date rape suspect, eh? But Lindsay has some father issues to discuss, so she talks about how she tried to be an adult, and totally failed at it, and her father was right about her all along. Which is true. Then she makes some comment about not knowing what would be worse, "having [her father] around or not," a comment that doesn't do much to make me believe that she's mature. Also, Lindsay? Next time you bitch about your dad and making references to wishing he was dead, you might want to think about your audience, and make sure it's not a guy who doesn't have a father at all. It's a good thing girls with daddy issues are Shane's scene.

Lindsay pulls the roofies out of her pocket and tells Shane she doesn't think he's the one who gave them to her, because there isn't much time left in this movie and we still have to see the climatic shark attacks, so we don't have time to wrongly accuse people of attempted rape. Although, if she knew JT was the one who drugged her all along, WHY on EARTH did she call him over to a secluded area and ask him about it? What could that have possibly accomplished? Shane also assumes that the drugs are roofies, and storms off to confront JT. Lindsay acts like she didn't totally want this to happen as she half-heartedly tells him to stop. Shane punches JT in the face, and the girls have to pull them off of each other. Shane shows JT the roofies, saying he found them on the boat. JT says that it's Shane's boat, then tries, again, to make it look like Shane was the one who drugged Lindsay. He says that Shane must have put something in Lindsay's soda, to which Shane and Lindsay point out that Shane gave the sodas to JT, and there was no way he could have known which of the two sodas JT was going to give to Lindsay. Karen and Alicia make shocked faces, probably because they, like me, thought this was going to be a movie about shark attacks and not some weird Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? rip-off. Shane pronounces the entire situation "messed up," and storms off, which leaves three defenseless women with an angry rapist. Lindsay runs over to Shane, and says she's sorry she "doubted" him, although I'm not sure when that happened. Shane says he's sorry JT tried to rape her. Meanwhile, Karen and Alicia are sorry that they have been left alone with a rapist.

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