MONDO EXTRAS

When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Danny is already on the scene, and he has binoculars. I bet Danny always has binoculars around, just in case he should stumble upon a house whose windows he can look into in the hopes of finally seeing a naked woman. Lindsay and Shane run up, and take a look through them. Dun dun dunnn! Many, many shark fins are headed towards the floaty island! "Oh my god," Lindsay says, while the background extras ruin the scene by totally smiling.

Shane and Lindsay run down the pier. Shane says he thinks they can lure the sharks away from the SPRING BREAKers by loading a boat with chum and driving it in the other direction. Along with Danny, they load a boat (I hope this one works better than the last one Shane took out, although I know it won't) with buckets and buckets of chum. Apparently, they stopped at the Chum 4 Less store on their way from the pier to the boat.

Back on the beach, everyone parties! The parasailing/surfing continues, as does the crappy music! JT flirts with a lady by telling her a story about how he bopped a shark on the nose and saved lives. Right as she's about to kiss him, she gets sucked underwater. Suddenly, we see that there are shark fins all over the place, which no one noticed before. Panic ensues as people scream and try to get on the floaty island. JT yells that there are sharks about, like no one had figured that out by now, and then a guy sitting on a floaty chair is bumped off his chair and into the water, where he turns into exploding fountains of red water. Wow.

Back at the Hero Boat, Shane gives Lindsay a quick how-to on boat driving. I wouldn't take advice from a guy who broke his last boat while it was being attacked by sharks, but that's just me.

Sharks circle the Floaty Island of Doom. They've also made their way to the beach, and we see a blonde lifeguard blow her whistle a lot, like that's going to stop the shark attacks. In a series of shots, each more hilarious than the last, we see one woman getting dragged around the water. It ends with a shark fin swimming one way, and then the girl screams across the frame in the opposite direction. So awesome! But then, unbelievably, it gets even better! The paraglider screams as he slowly sails right on into a shark's waiting mouth. He bleeds everywhere. Ahh, this movie is finally reaching the standard set by its opening scene.

Kathy and Bryan run onto the beach and observe the carnage. Kathy gasps several times.

Things are looking grim on the Floaty Island of Doom. All the weight is on one side, and it tips dangerously. JT tries to scramble up to the top, but is pulled back by some girl hanging onto him for dear life. JT yells at her and tries to throw her off, because JT hates clingy girls. It's so much easier when they're all drugged up and don't remember even having sex with him. Eventually, JT dramatically goes flying into the water. He surfaces and looks around to see sharks circling him. He screams girlishly at this development. He tries to swim back to the platform, but a big fake-looking shark head jumps out of the water and eats his arm. Oh no! That was his roofies-slipping hand!

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When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Danny is already on the scene, and he has binoculars. I bet Danny always has binoculars around, just in case he should stumble upon a house whose windows he can look into in the hopes of finally seeing a naked woman. Lindsay and Shane run up, and take a look through them. Dun dun dunnn! Many, many shark fins are headed towards the floaty island! "Oh my god," Lindsay says, while the background extras ruin the scene by totally smiling.

Shane and Lindsay run down the pier. Shane says he thinks they can lure the sharks away from the SPRING BREAKers by loading a boat with chum and driving it in the other direction. Along with Danny, they load a boat (I hope this one works better than the last one Shane took out, although I know it won't) with buckets and buckets of chum. Apparently, they stopped at the Chum 4 Less store on their way from the pier to the boat.

Back on the beach, everyone parties! The parasailing/surfing continues, as does the crappy music! JT flirts with a lady by telling her a story about how he bopped a shark on the nose and saved lives. Right as she's about to kiss him, she gets sucked underwater. Suddenly, we see that there are shark fins all over the place, which no one noticed before. Panic ensues as people scream and try to get on the floaty island. JT yells that there are sharks about, like no one had figured that out by now, and then a guy sitting on a floaty chair is bumped off his chair and into the water, where he turns into exploding fountains of red water. Wow.

Back at the Hero Boat, Shane gives Lindsay a quick how-to on boat driving. I wouldn't take advice from a guy who broke his last boat while it was being attacked by sharks, but that's just me.

Sharks circle the Floaty Island of Doom. They've also made their way to the beach, and we see a blonde lifeguard blow her whistle a lot, like that's going to stop the shark attacks. In a series of shots, each more hilarious than the last, we see one woman getting dragged around the water. It ends with a shark fin swimming one way, and then the girl screams across the frame in the opposite direction. So awesome! But then, unbelievably, it gets even better! The paraglider screams as he slowly sails right on into a shark's waiting mouth. He bleeds everywhere. Ahh, this movie is finally reaching the standard set by its opening scene.

Kathy and Bryan run onto the beach and observe the carnage. Kathy gasps several times.

Things are looking grim on the Floaty Island of Doom. All the weight is on one side, and it tips dangerously. JT tries to scramble up to the top, but is pulled back by some girl hanging onto him for dear life. JT yells at her and tries to throw her off, because JT hates clingy girls. It's so much easier when they're all drugged up and don't remember even having sex with him. Eventually, JT dramatically goes flying into the water. He surfaces and looks around to see sharks circling him. He screams girlishly at this development. He tries to swim back to the platform, but a big fake-looking shark head jumps out of the water and eats his arm. Oh no! That was his roofies-slipping hand!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21Next

Comments

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SHARE THE SNARK

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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