MONDO EXTRAS

When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Suddenly, the boat gets knocked, which somehow makes a harpoon (why is a scientific research boat armed with a harpoon?) shoot through Shane's shoulder. He screams and flails around, as you would, and Lindsay tries to tend to his wound as Danny puts out a mayday call on the radio. I don't understand why the Harbor Police or the Coast Guard haven't arrived on the scene by now, but I guess they didn't want to cause utter chaos with their presence. Lindsay asks Danny if his electric shark resister thing works. Danny says it's a stupid science experiment. Lindsay says they don't have any other options now, which isn't true as long as Shane still has those roofies Lindsay gave him. But I guess drugging the sharks wouldn't be as dramatic. They could also use that harpoon to kill a couple of sharks, which would then make the rest of the sharks stop attacking the boat in favor of eating their fallen comrades. And then they'd be full and swim away to sleep it off and maybe watch some football. But neither of these options were cleverly set up in the beginning of the movie, and so we shall watch as Danny attempts to make his stupid underwater electric fence work. Lindsay turns to Shane and says she's going to pull the harpoon out of his shoulder now, and Shane protests. He's right; according to The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, and this is written in bold red letters to stress its importance, you should never remove impaled objects, because it could cause uncontrollable bleeding. Plus, it's a freaking harpoon, which is designed to cause more damage when you attempt to pull them out. Less anthropology class, more basic first aid, Lindsay.

Lindsay pulls the harpoon out, probably ripping tendons and arteries out with it. Shane whimpers and cries as Danny tosses some buoys, which are attached to electric shark resister things, into the water. The sharks continue to attack the boat, and everyone screams annoyingly. Lindsay and Danny manage to get all the buoys and electric thingies into the water, but there's a problem -- pod six is down! Danny explains that, like Christmas lights, if one of the pods isn't working, then none of them are. Also, the pods can only be fixed by diving into the shark-infested waters and manually repairing them. I guess Danny didn't read the chapter on practical electric-shark-repeller design, either. Lindsay takes all this in with her mouth hanging open, then announces that she will go down to fix the pods. Danny says no way, but Lindsay points out that she is the only person who isn't bleeding, as Danny acquired an injury at some point. Shane says she's right, because he cares about his sort-of girlfriend that much. Lindsay suits up in a montage.

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When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Suddenly, the boat gets knocked, which somehow makes a harpoon (why is a scientific research boat armed with a harpoon?) shoot through Shane's shoulder. He screams and flails around, as you would, and Lindsay tries to tend to his wound as Danny puts out a mayday call on the radio. I don't understand why the Harbor Police or the Coast Guard haven't arrived on the scene by now, but I guess they didn't want to cause utter chaos with their presence. Lindsay asks Danny if his electric shark resister thing works. Danny says it's a stupid science experiment. Lindsay says they don't have any other options now, which isn't true as long as Shane still has those roofies Lindsay gave him. But I guess drugging the sharks wouldn't be as dramatic. They could also use that harpoon to kill a couple of sharks, which would then make the rest of the sharks stop attacking the boat in favor of eating their fallen comrades. And then they'd be full and swim away to sleep it off and maybe watch some football. But neither of these options were cleverly set up in the beginning of the movie, and so we shall watch as Danny attempts to make his stupid underwater electric fence work. Lindsay turns to Shane and says she's going to pull the harpoon out of his shoulder now, and Shane protests. He's right; according to The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, and this is written in bold red letters to stress its importance, you should never remove impaled objects, because it could cause uncontrollable bleeding. Plus, it's a freaking harpoon, which is designed to cause more damage when you attempt to pull them out. Less anthropology class, more basic first aid, Lindsay.

Lindsay pulls the harpoon out, probably ripping tendons and arteries out with it. Shane whimpers and cries as Danny tosses some buoys, which are attached to electric shark resister things, into the water. The sharks continue to attack the boat, and everyone screams annoyingly. Lindsay and Danny manage to get all the buoys and electric thingies into the water, but there's a problem -- pod six is down! Danny explains that, like Christmas lights, if one of the pods isn't working, then none of them are. Also, the pods can only be fixed by diving into the shark-infested waters and manually repairing them. I guess Danny didn't read the chapter on practical electric-shark-repeller design, either. Lindsay takes all this in with her mouth hanging open, then announces that she will go down to fix the pods. Danny says no way, but Lindsay points out that she is the only person who isn't bleeding, as Danny acquired an injury at some point. Shane says she's right, because he cares about his sort-of girlfriend that much. Lindsay suits up in a montage.

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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