MONDO EXTRAS

When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Danny tells Lindsay how to fix the pod, and she is lowered into the water. There's a shark, like, right next to the boat, so you'd think that maybe they might want to wait for it to leave before putting Lindsay right next to it, but they don't. Lindsay goes underwater, and there are all kinds of shiny, shark-attracting buckles on her diving suit. She opens up the pod as sharks swim around her. Shane and Danny wait, but they're not that worried, since they know that the main character won't die. Soon, Danny reports that the pod is fixed, and they pull Lindsay out of the water. It would have been so awesome if they only pulled up, like, her head, but no. She's still alive and mouth-breathing. She and Shane look out and see the shark fins retreating. Danny's crap invention works after all! Not that it really matters, as a police boat then pulls up to rescue them. It should be noted that the police boat is this crappy little dinghy, and yet it managed to do much better than Shane's little masterpieces.

Kathy informs Bryan that they're closing Seagull Beach and wrecking the new reef, so he got what he wanted. Who made that decision, and how did it happen so fast? Big government needs to take a few lessons from the Seagull Beach Town Council. I've been waiting forever for my tax refund check, goddammit! Bryan says he only meant to scare people away from Seagull Beach and back to East Point, because his businesses there were on the brink of bankruptcy. Kathy says again that Bryan got what he wanted. He sure did, and now he can go back to East Point and makes lots more money! Hooray for Bryan! Kathy then sees the police boat pulling up, and Danny is now wearing sunglasses. Kathy dubs a line asking if Shane is all right, and Shane dubs a line that he is okay. Bleeding to death and missing vital cartilage, but okay.

Karen and Alicia hug Lindsay, like, where have they been all this time? I bet Alicia was kicking some shark ass during the whole attack. I wish we had seen that. Dad walks over and there's a father-daughter hug. Lindsay thanks Dad for coming, and he says that she didn't need him after all. "Maybe I did and maybe I didn't," Lindsay says cryptically. Dad says he's really proud of both of his children, who managed to get themselves stranded in shark-infested waters and didn't really save anyone, since most of the shark carnage happened before they arrived. Lindsay says that's great and all, but she's going to check on her hot sort-of boyfriend, now that all those pesky family issues have been resolved. Except not really, since Dad was kind of right about everything, wasn't he? I mean, Lindsay got herself drugged, almost raped, stranded on an island, and almost eaten by sharks several times, so it looks like she really isn't very capable of taking care of herself without her father's supervision, is she? Plus, she started this movie as a whiny brat and she ended it as one. She learned absolutely nothing.

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Comments

When Sharks Occasionally Attack

by Sara M April 2, 2005
Spring Break Shark Attack

Danny tells Lindsay how to fix the pod, and she is lowered into the water. There's a shark, like, right next to the boat, so you'd think that maybe they might want to wait for it to leave before putting Lindsay right next to it, but they don't. Lindsay goes underwater, and there are all kinds of shiny, shark-attracting buckles on her diving suit. She opens up the pod as sharks swim around her. Shane and Danny wait, but they're not that worried, since they know that the main character won't die. Soon, Danny reports that the pod is fixed, and they pull Lindsay out of the water. It would have been so awesome if they only pulled up, like, her head, but no. She's still alive and mouth-breathing. She and Shane look out and see the shark fins retreating. Danny's crap invention works after all! Not that it really matters, as a police boat then pulls up to rescue them. It should be noted that the police boat is this crappy little dinghy, and yet it managed to do much better than Shane's little masterpieces.

Kathy informs Bryan that they're closing Seagull Beach and wrecking the new reef, so he got what he wanted. Who made that decision, and how did it happen so fast? Big government needs to take a few lessons from the Seagull Beach Town Council. I've been waiting forever for my tax refund check, goddammit! Bryan says he only meant to scare people away from Seagull Beach and back to East Point, because his businesses there were on the brink of bankruptcy. Kathy says again that Bryan got what he wanted. He sure did, and now he can go back to East Point and makes lots more money! Hooray for Bryan! Kathy then sees the police boat pulling up, and Danny is now wearing sunglasses. Kathy dubs a line asking if Shane is all right, and Shane dubs a line that he is okay. Bleeding to death and missing vital cartilage, but okay.

Karen and Alicia hug Lindsay, like, where have they been all this time? I bet Alicia was kicking some shark ass during the whole attack. I wish we had seen that. Dad walks over and there's a father-daughter hug. Lindsay thanks Dad for coming, and he says that she didn't need him after all. "Maybe I did and maybe I didn't," Lindsay says cryptically. Dad says he's really proud of both of his children, who managed to get themselves stranded in shark-infested waters and didn't really save anyone, since most of the shark carnage happened before they arrived. Lindsay says that's great and all, but she's going to check on her hot sort-of boyfriend, now that all those pesky family issues have been resolved. Except not really, since Dad was kind of right about everything, wasn't he? I mean, Lindsay got herself drugged, almost raped, stranded on an island, and almost eaten by sharks several times, so it looks like she really isn't very capable of taking care of herself without her father's supervision, is she? Plus, she started this movie as a whiny brat and she ended it as one. She learned absolutely nothing.

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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