The Harper's Island Premiere
Groom wanders up to the WASP table looking for J.D. and drunk Jarty slurs that she's on it and bounces.
Bride is consulting with Bitchy Sister about the Hunter situation, and Bitchy Sister (who is wearing a lovely brown dress that I have the cheap version of in blue) says they should go to their dad about it. Bride hates that idea because he will only make a scene. She loves Groom and is not having second thoughts. Great. Is there going to be another murder ever or what?
Hamlin is taking one of those strolls people like to go on alone in the woods on a murder island when he happens upon Bride's dad and Hunter discussing how Groom isn't good enough for Bride and how they're scheming together to break them up. So I guess that's who "HJ" is. I guess that's kind of funny, now that we know the guy's a real dick for sure.
Oh brother, Jarty's put her jean jacket back on, over her slut dress. She is stumbling towards a bar when we hear some birds rustling. More damn birds! Bird is the word on this show. She stops for a second, weirded out, and then goes into the bar, where an extra by the door majorly goes for it in the creepy checking out her ass department. Way to really commit to a choice there, extra. Jarty knows the bartender, a spunky blonde with a tongue ring, and they are happy to see each other.
Jarty spots J.D. drinking alone at a table across the bar, and Jarty goes off to text Groom and tell him J.D.'s okay. She is thwarted by Hunkfish, however, who materializes to insult her yet again with the city girl thing and challenge her to a rousing game of pool. Fascinating.
Back at the chateau, Asshole Daughter finds Cousin Ben's gift bag (with a nametag on it that says "Ben Wellington" -- and his nickname wasn't "Beef"? What is wrong with this family?), and she takes it because she's an asshole and, judging by later events, may already know he is dead. Also there might be booze inside. All good reasons to take the gift basket. She rips up the nametag because she's terrible.
Hamlin walks up to Bride's Dad, sitting on the porch enjoying a cigar and what looks like scotch, neat. This scene is actually kind of cool, as Hamlin explains to Bride's dad that he's always seen his purpose in life as a protector of men like Groom from people like Bride's Dad.