The Parks & Recreation Premiere
Back at the office (not The Office, the Parks office in City Hall), Tom is on the phone with someone who seems to be offering him a bribe of some suits. Since he has to report anything over $25, Tom suggests the man give them to his (Tom's) wife, and whatever doesn't fit her, he'll take. Laugh laugh. Just then, Leslie walks in, and Tom pretends he's talking to the mayor, and says he'll see him at the Ultimate Frisbee game on Saturday. Leslie is impressed, as Tom gives the camera a conspiratorial glance. Leslie THs that she and Tom get along because they're both outsiders. She's a woman, he's a... she thinks a moment. Libyan? Tom THs that he's from South Carolina, and calls himself a "redneck."
Leslie spitballs with Tom about how to make the park happen. He suggests approaching the city council for the funding, but Leslie says parks aren't a priority. She says they should form a committee, because "committees are the lifeblood of our democratic system." She asks Tom to write it down, because he writes down all of her eloquent sayings for her memoirs. In TH, Tom shows us her quote from Wednesday: a blank piece of paper. At first I thought that meant she didn't have a good quote on Wednesday, but he obviously doesn't write anything down, ever, because when she asks him to read it back, all he can remember is, "Committees cover our democracy with blood." She says it sounded better when she said it.
Leslie wonders if they should get Mark on board. Tom is clueless, so Leslie snorts, "Mark Brandanawicz, of course." Brandanawicz is a city planner, but also a real mensch, who gets things done and "knows where the bodies are buried," according to Leslie. When we see him (played by Paul Schneider) eating lunch in the courtyard, we immediately realize that Leslie is crushing on him big time. She strolls up to him and says, "What's up, Brandanawicz, you crazy old Polish person?" (In a Leslie TH, we learn that City Hall is apparently a "locker room," where you have to "snap towels" or "go home.") After thanking him for making time in his schedule, which he denies, she asks him about the vacant lot. After he tells her that it's neither likely nor possible, due to red tape, homeowners' associations, anti-government types, etc., she asks him for a favor for "old times' sake." After beating around the bush a bit, Leslie THs that a while back, the two of them did indeed sleep together. It's a very Michael Scott moment. Cut to Mark, who emphatically says, "Leslie? No." Then he thinks about if for five or six seconds, and says, "Oh, my God!" He realizes, or, more accurately, remembers that five years ago, they did in fact hook up. He seems kinda ashamed, although there is a laugh in there, too. But he was probably going through a rough spot, or was really drunk, because he doesn't get into it.