MONDO EXTRAS

The Hawthorne Premiere

by Angel Cohn June 17, 2009
Summer Pilot Season: HawthoRNe

The show kicks off with Christina (Jada Pinkett Smith) lying in bed, unable to sleep. She's talking to her dead husband who died a year ago. She gets a call from a man named David, and suddenly she's panicked and tells the urn of ashes that his friend is in trouble.

We then see her hopping out of her car, still on the cell phone, heading towards a hospital in Richmond, VA. A homeless woman named Isabel yells for her attention, but Christina brushes her off. As soon as Christina tries to get into the building, a guard stops her. She informs him that she's the Chief Nursing Officer, but he doesn't believe her and yells at her for parking in the loading zone. She makes a break for it, runs up some stairs, finds a wandering patient and redirects him, and arrives at the roof, where she sees David. He's contemplating jumping. She says that he can't do this to her today of all days. He says that he's tired of being sick, she offers to help find a new treatment. He says that he only wanted to say goodbye to her. So she tersely says bye and turns around, only to hear the distinct sound of a body crashing on the ground. It doesn't look like a terribly tall building. I get that he's a patient and all, and had limited jumping options, but there had to be other suicide methods to choose from, some that might actually do the trick.

Christina heads back down the stairs, kicks the security officer, grabs his walkie talkie, requests an ambulance, then arrives at the body, where Isabel, who saw the whole thing, wants to know if he's dead. Not yet. See, I knew that building wasn't nearly tall enough. Doctors rush him in and Christina informs them that the patient is DNR, but they ignore her, while she tries to get his file up on the too slow computer. David is brought back to life and Christina is all frustrated.

That's the least of her worries, as the cops are there to accuse her of assaulting a guard. She definitely resists arrest, insisting that she's a nurse and doesn't belong there. Credits.

Michael Vartan is performing surgery on David, and talking about medical ethics. He seems to be in charge. Then he's lecturing an orthopedist about being late. Christina watches through the window, then as he exits, she starts asking for details on David's health. He wants to know why she was up on the roof and starts yelling at her about how David was his patient. He's Chief of Surgery. I just have to pause for a minute. Michael Vartan ... is Chief of Surgery. OK. That's totally not believable at all. At all. I like him. Think he's dreamy and all, but Chief of Surgery? Not likely. Back to the show. They scream at each other all professional-like about how David was her dead husband's best friend, and how he should have been called to help out a suicidal patient. Frankly, they should have called the cops, or people trained to deal with jumpers, but whatever. She then snaps that it is the anniversary of her husband's death, and is all bitchy about it. He ends up apologizing to her and worrying about her mental health status. Apparently he also helped get her charges dropped. Then they discuss patient care and rounds and how he's popular with the patients. He bribes them with candy. These are grown-up patients. And he's not a pediatrician, he's a surgeon. Who should NOT have candy in his pocket in a sterile surgery room. Ugh. Annoying. I don't care if they are wrapped lollipops or not.

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