The Philanthropist Premiere
And everybody else, but oh no, Omar! It doesn't really matter, though, because they uncharacteristically kindly give Teddy a phone call, and he just gets Jesse L. to have the White House get him released. I have no idea if that's realistic or not. On the one hand, we've all been trained to believe rich people can do whatever and go wherever the hell they want with few consequences, but on the other hand, Jesse L. Martin just called the damn White House to get his friend out of Nigerian jail for bribery and it took like two seconds. Somebody ask a billionaire if that's possible for me. [I'll ask Richard Branson the next time we go parasailing together. -- Angel]
Back at Teddy's hotel, the Nigerian doctor woman is ready to give up, but Teddy assures her he will get the vaccines tomorrow, and they diverge.
Teddy then explains that when one needs illegal drugs like Cholera vaccines, one should contact a drug dealer. Makes sense. So off he goes to some Nigerian drug dealer's mansion, and they strike a quid pro quo deal: the drug dealer will get Teddy's vaccines for him, in exchange for a favor of his choosing in the future. Then a bunch of hookers show up, and Teddy mysogenies the night away, as is his wont.
Another Bing scene, in which Teddy's secretary looks up what Cholera is on Bing, and Omar acts like he doesn't know what Cholera is, or that search engines can do things like search for things. It's fucking stupid. Commercials.
It's the next morning, and vaccines in hand, Teddy is trying to figure out how to get them to Harvard lady's clinic in Kujama. Apparently, one cannot just rent a car and drive them there, because of the invisible rebels. They hate Avis. It's part of their invisible mission statement.
Omar rushes in to tell Teddy that the locals just told him they want them out of the country ASAP, and if they don't move the vaccines today they're going to confiscate them. They said that? To Omar? They all got together and said that? If they want them out immediately, why are they giving them a whole day? And why couldn't we see that cool scene? See what I mean? They're burying the lede a lot on this show. Teddy is optimistic, though, and asks the concierge of all people if he could parachute into Kujama, and the concierge is like, well you could, but you'd die because of the terrain or something, which doesn't make sense I don't think, but whatever.