Summer Pilot Season: Warehouse 13 After a close up of a Chinese statue, a title card informs us that we are in Washington, D.C., where we see a curly-haired lady in a black suit is terrifying children with her carelessly exposed gun holster as they tour the museum she seems to be guarding.

A pleasant man in a suit walks up to her and address her as "Agent Bering" and says something to the tune of "didn't you already check this whole place out?" She has, actually, but she wants to give the museum a second run through with the place's boss by her side so she can feel assured that everything will get done. As you'll come to notice, Agent Bering is kind of high strung.

Cut to a naked lady in a bed, looking at a fireman's badge hanging off of a lamp. A just-showered, shirtless man interrupts her, and she tells him she's finally figured out that he's a fireman. Then they make out.

Back at the museum, a nerd in a lab coat is examining an "Aztec bloodstone," which is basically a bad ass looking head made out of stone, with some glass teeth. He drops one of his tools in its mouth, but before he can retrieve it Bering and the museum boss come barreling in, ordering all the "Group D artifacts" to be moved for "the reception tonight" because they're blocking an exit. The nerd agrees, and Bering and the boss go off to tell some other people what to do.

Once they're gone, the nerd just JAMS HIS STUPID FINGERS in the Aztec bloodstone's GLASS-TEETHED MOUTH and cuts himself, obviously.

Back at apartment o' nudeys, the naked girl (who has put some clothes on since we last saw her) is being seen out by the purported fireman from before, telling him she can't sneak him in to the event tonight because Secret Service will be there, and they can be jerks. "So I've heard," he says knowingly, and even if you hadn't read the show's premise, you now know that he must be Secret Service.

After she leaves he suits up and grabs his gun, then we see an official "Presidential Invitation" to the event in question sitting on his desk. It is going to be a celebration of art from around the world!

Naked girl is serving champagne at the party, when the nerd from before takes a flute, gulps it down, and then saunters past Agent Bering, who is requesting a "status check on Eagle" via comms.

Nerd comes face to face with the Aztec bloodstone, and there's some dramatic music happening, so you know this is going to be trouble.

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