Stee: You've got nothing to say, do you? Pamie: No, not really. I also didn't see The Mummy Returns because...They owe Ben Stiller some money for this sketch. They also owe the Oscars some money for this bit, pairing the hosts with real characters from the movie. Also a bad sign. It's something about them hosting the awards and the "Scorpion King" and there's the popcorn award and a curse and jokes and yelling and it's already going on way too long.
Pamie: ...because I didn't want to see it. The movie. Didn't see it. Stee: Why does she have a widow's peak? Pamie: I didn't see the movie. So, I can't tell you. Stee: They're actually ripping off the Oscars. That's sad. Pamie: And Talk Soup. That's sadder.There is a funny thing where Fallon and Dunst are hit by falling debris. And speaking of falling debris, suddenly Rob Schneider is in the sketch as the bad guy, and he's making a tidal wave with his face in it and it's pretty gross in many ways. Ah, the "Schneider-wave!" Fuck. Ha, now Snoop Dogg is driving a plane thing and he's only talking in "hiz-zim niz-zim" speech. Snoop is so goddamn high while filming that it actually works. Kirsten says, "There's no way Rob Schneider is coming back," and we also thought that was true once, but then we got Deuce Bigalow and everything was ruined.
Stee: I guess they had to start working on this sketch a while ago, and that's why they're doing The Mummy Returns?
Okay, so, MTV -- the channel that loves absolutely nothing in the world more than to crow on and on about its own calculated irreverence -- is dragging out its old chestnut, the Movie Awards, once again. And in effort to seem hip and new, it's tapped the not-so-much- "funny"-as-"cute" Jimmy Fallon and the in-danger-of- soon-only-being- believable-playing-a- cheerleader Kirsten Dunst to host. In turn, MBTV has tapped us, "dangerously cute and funny" Stee and "couldn't ever be a cheerleader but knows all the words to Bring It On in a sad, pathetic way" Pamie to watch the show. Armed with a cheap bottle of Merlot and a tape recorder, we turned on MTV and, for once, did not see a Tyrese video. So far so eh.
We start off with a Mummy Returns parody in which, almost immediately, Fallon does some physical schtick with a snake. ["To be fair, the schtick was actually in the movie." -- Wing Chun] Uh oh. Fallon makes a "shit-his-pants" reference.
Stee: You've got nothing to say, do you?
Pamie: No, not really. I also didn't see The Mummy Returns because...
They owe Ben Stiller some money for this sketch. They also owe the Oscars some money for this bit, pairing the hosts with real characters from the movie. Also a bad sign. It's something about them hosting the awards and the "Scorpion King" and there's the popcorn award and a curse and jokes and yelling and it's already going on way too long.
Pamie: ...because I didn't want to see it. The movie. Didn't see it.
Stee: Why does she have a widow's peak?
Pamie: I didn't see the movie. So, I can't tell you.
Stee: They're actually ripping off the Oscars. That's sad.
Pamie: And Talk Soup. That's sadder.
There is a funny thing where Fallon and Dunst are hit by falling debris. And speaking of falling debris, suddenly Rob Schneider is in the sketch as the bad guy, and he's making a tidal wave with his face in it and it's pretty gross in many ways. Ah, the "Schneider-wave!" Fuck. Ha, now Snoop Dogg is driving a plane thing and he's only talking in "hiz-zim niz-zim" speech. Snoop is so goddamn high while filming that it actually works. Kirsten says, "There's no way Rob Schneider is coming back," and we also thought that was true once, but then we got Deuce Bigalow and everything was ruined.
Stee: I guess they had to start working on this sketch a while ago, and that's why they're doing The Mummy Returns?
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