Mondo Extra
The 2001 MTV Movie Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Once Irreverent, Now Irrelevant
Pamie: That's a lot of hate for a girl that's not really doing much. Erika Christensen wins. She looks exactly like Julia Stiles but with a tiny bit of class. She goes nuts like she won the Nobel prize.
Pamie: She always looks like she is on meth. Because her mouth doesn't close right. She always looks kind of breathless and like, her gums are peeling back. Stee: Pretty.
They briefly show Christina Aguilera, who claps lethargically and chews some celery. Don't eat too much, girl. (Man, when you do a Spell Check on "Aguilera," Word suggests "Uglier." That's fucking funny.) Dunst stands in her panties and introduces the next act. It's Dave Matthews.
Pamie: Can I fast-forward through the Dave Matthews Band? Stee: No. Pamie: Why not? Can I now? Stee: Look how pudgy he's gotten. Pamie: Can I now? Stee: No. Pamie: Now? He's all looking up and to the right like there's a thought bubble of a naked woman, there. Stee: This is not Pop-Up Video. Pamie: He's thinking of a can of spam. Boop-boop-boop! Stee: What's that noise? Pamie: The thought bubble he's looking at. Stee: Oh. Pamie: Can I fast-forward now? Stee: Almost. Pamie: Now? Stee: I want to see if the sax player gets to play sax on this song. Because he plays it in the video, but there's no sax in the song. Pamie: He's over there. See, there he is. Stee: Oh. They added it for this. Pamie: He's turning into Billy Joel. Stee: He is. He just needs to start fishing. Pamie: Can I turn it now? Stee: No. We're supposed to be recapping this. Pamie: We don't have to recap this. This has nothing to do with the movie awards. It's just an unfortunate intermission. Here's the recap: "And Dave Matthews plays the same song we've heard for seven years. The ants are still marching." Stee: Is Dave Matthews wearing a skirt? Pamie: No, that's his tummy. Can I fast-forward? Stee: Dude, now I just don't want you to because you want to so bad. Pamie: I hate this. Hate his voice! And he has herpes. Stee: Why are you starting rumors about Dave Matthews? Pamie: He gave my friend's friend herpes. Stee: Oh, Jesus Christ. Pamie: He did! That's all I can see when I look at him. Herpes.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
The 2001 MTV Movie Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Once Irreverent, Now Irrelevant

Stee: Who's Aaliyah?
Pamie: She had that song.
Stee: Oh.
Pamie: Hey, I saw Traffic.
Stee: And that girl I aggressively hate.
Pamie: Who is she?
Stee: The girl from Scary Movie.
Pamie: Has she been in anything else?
Stee: No. Scary Movie 2.
Pamie: That's a lot of hate for a girl that's not really doing much.

Erika Christensen wins. She looks exactly like Julia Stiles but with a tiny bit of class. She goes nuts like she won the Nobel prize.

Pamie: She always looks like she is on meth. Because her mouth doesn't close right. She always looks kind of breathless and like, her gums are peeling back.
Stee: Pretty.

They briefly show Christina Aguilera, who claps lethargically and chews some celery. Don't eat too much, girl. (Man, when you do a Spell Check on "Aguilera," Word suggests "Uglier." That's fucking funny.)

Dunst stands in her panties and introduces the next act. It's Dave Matthews.

Pamie: Can I fast-forward through the Dave Matthews Band?
Stee: No.
Pamie: Why not? Can I now?
Stee: Look how pudgy he's gotten.
Pamie: Can I now?
Stee: No.
Pamie: Now? He's all looking up and to the right like there's a thought bubble of a naked woman, there.
Stee: This is not Pop-Up Video.
Pamie: He's thinking of a can of spam. Boop-boop-boop!
Stee: What's that noise?
Pamie: The thought bubble he's looking at.
Stee: Oh.
Pamie: Can I fast-forward now?
Stee: Almost.
Pamie: Now?
Stee: I want to see if the sax player gets to play sax on this song. Because he plays it in the video, but there's no sax in the song.
Pamie: He's over there. See, there he is.
Stee: Oh. They added it for this.
Pamie: He's turning into Billy Joel.
Stee: He is. He just needs to start fishing.
Pamie: Can I turn it now?
Stee: No. We're supposed to be recapping this.
Pamie: We don't have to recap this. This has nothing to do with the movie awards. It's just an unfortunate intermission. Here's the recap: "And Dave Matthews plays the same song we've heard for seven years. The ants are still marching."

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Mondo Extra

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