Mondo Extra
The 2001 MTV Movie Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Once Irreverent, Now Irrelevant
Pamie: I hate her. God, how I hate her. Stee: I hate her so much. I'd rather Gretchen Mol came back.
Okay, Julia Roberts won. At, like, thirty, isn't she already too old for the MTV crowd? She's on tape thanking people. Isn't she tired by now, like, of everything? She talks about her ass and her titties. No one else is, so she might as well. Backstage, Julia Stiles is shocked that her emotional tour de force in Save the Last Dance didn't wrestle the Best Actress statue from Julia Roberts's grip. Ew. Who's that? Oh, it's George Lucas. Eh, he makes an "a long, long time ago..." joke. Dickhead. What the fuck is he doing here? Oh, he's presenting an award to Sofia Coppola for Best New Filmmaker or some shit. Wow, that's some fucking balls, MTV, for picking a director whose dad is a directing legend, who is married to one of your favorite video directors, and who cast MTV Movie Awards host Kirsten Dunst. Good job, douchebags. Josh Hartnett says that she's the most insightful director he's ever worked with. Hee. How old is he, anyway? Like, twenty? ["He'll be twenty-three next month." -- Wing Chun] Lord. Tom Cruise claps like he's in her next film, and Sofia babbles about her crew and cast and walks off to go ruin another film trilogy. Dunst introduces Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. They fly in on wires and deliver their dialogue hanging in the air. These two. One can't speak English, and the other is Chinese. Chris Tucker makes a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Negro joke. Pink loves it. Jackie says he feels like a "Chinese Peter Pan." Someone wrote that. Someone wrote that. As a joke! We go for a walk. When we come back, they give out Best Fight. Zhang Ziyi wins. It's fun watching Chris Tucker do battle with that name. She says something. Commercials.
Pamie: Why does O-Town get to sing "Happy Birthday" to MTV? Stee: If Debbie Gibson gets to sing, then O-Town does. Pamie: She had a lot to do with early MTV. Stee: I had more to do with early MTV. Pamie: "Shake Your Love" and "Foolish Beat"! Stee: Don't tell me what to do. Pamie: She was like the youngest...self-producing...teen sensation... Stee: Are you done? Pamie: More than O-Town has a right. Stee: The image I have of your childhood makes me very sad. Pamie: Shut up. I was part of the Electric Youth.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
The 2001 MTV Movie Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Once Irreverent, Now Irrelevant

Pamie: She shaves her ass?
Stee: No. She shakes her ass.
Pamie: Oh, I thought she said, "I'm blonde! And I shave my ass!" and I was like, "Good for Cameron for confessing and speaking out for the ass shavers."
Stee: That's funnier, though. Did you see Tom Cruise laughing at her when she said "sweet loaf"?
Pamie: He's trying to get laid.
Stee: By Cameron Diaz? Or by Puffy?

Now Shawn and Marlon Wayans. Didn't they host last year? ["They hosted the video awards, and sucked really hard at it." -- Wing Chun] Poor them. Marlon looks like Macy Gray and Jimi Hendrix had a child. They make a joke about not having a vagina. They cut to Pink, who says, "Oh shit," very visibly. All class, that girl. Best Female Performance is next. If Kate Hudson wins, we'll stop the recap right now.

Pamie: I hate her. God, how I hate her.
Stee: I hate her so much. I'd rather Gretchen Mol came back.

Okay, Julia Roberts won. At, like, thirty, isn't she already too old for the MTV crowd? She's on tape thanking people. Isn't she tired by now, like, of everything? She talks about her ass and her titties. No one else is, so she might as well. Backstage, Julia Stiles is shocked that her emotional tour de force in Save the Last Dance didn't wrestle the Best Actress statue from Julia Roberts's grip.

Ew. Who's that? Oh, it's George Lucas. Eh, he makes an "a long, long time ago..." joke. Dickhead. What the fuck is he doing here? Oh, he's presenting an award to Sofia Coppola for Best New Filmmaker or some shit. Wow, that's some fucking balls, MTV, for picking a director whose dad is a directing legend, who is married to one of your favorite video directors, and who cast MTV Movie Awards host Kirsten Dunst. Good job, douchebags. Josh Hartnett says that she's the most insightful director he's ever worked with. Hee. How old is he, anyway? Like, twenty? ["He'll be twenty-three next month." -- Wing Chun] Lord. Tom Cruise claps like he's in her next film, and Sofia babbles about her crew and cast and walks off to go ruin another film trilogy.

Dunst introduces Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. They fly in on wires and deliver their dialogue hanging in the air. These two. One can't speak English, and the other is Chinese. Chris Tucker makes a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Negro joke. Pink loves it. Jackie says he feels like a "Chinese Peter Pan." Someone wrote that. Someone wrote that. As a joke! We go for a walk. When we come back, they give out Best Fight. Zhang Ziyi wins. It's fun watching Chris Tucker do battle with that name. She says something. Commercials.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17Next

Mondo Extra

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