Mondo Extra
The 2001 MTV Movie Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Once Irreverent, Now Irrelevant
Pamie: Look at those earrings! Ugh. Man. This is the year of the whore. Look at those nails! This is the year of the whore. Stee: That's not Pink! Pamie: Whore. Stee: That's Pink? Pamie: And Gwen Stefani is dressed as Christina Aguilera. Pink brought her dog and has two-inch nails. I hate everybody. Stee: I want to see her have to pull a tapeworm out of that dog's ass with those nails. Pamie: Brilliant. Jimmy Fallon does a joke about David Spade getting beat up by his assistant, which is pretty funny.
Stee: Is Jimmy Fallon funny? I can't tell. Pamie: He's kinda funny. That David Spade joke was funny. Stee: No, I know. He's funny, but...
David Spade then does an "attack Pearle Vision Center" optometrist/Pearl Harbor joke. Wow. That's the worst joke ever. He and Zhang Ziyi, the girl from Crouching Tiger..., do a terrible bit where he "translates" for her and then she takes out a sword and reads her lines badly and it takes forever and we're more bored then we were during the movie itself. It's pretty much offensive. It's a shame because Ziyi's acting like a ditzy American girl, which naturally isn't going to take her far if she can't speak English. Ah, Breakthrough Performance Male comes up. Hugh Jackman's name is funny. So is Patrick Fugit's. Sean Patrick Thomas wins for Save The Last Dance, which is an MTV film, just for the record.
Pamie: Remember how you cried at the end of that movie? Stee: Why don't you shut up? Pamie: Man, I love saying, "That guy's got a HUGE ACKMAN!"
Sean Patrick Thomas wears a v-neck sweater with nothing underneath. It's a risky look. ["I thought it worked for him. He's cute." -- Wing Chun] He gives a shout-out to his home state of Delaware. Hee. That's the first ever Delaware shout-out on television. ["Ha ha! That's what we said!" -- Wing Chun] Nicole Kidman time! Aw...shit. She's on video from Australia. Eh. Bullshit. She's up at her pad on Mulholland getting head from Ewan below screen. She introduces the "Lady Marmalade" song. The four girls come out and basically do the video with a bunch of backup dancers dressed as turn-of-the-century hookers, minus the consumption and smallpox.
Stee: There is no singing going on on that stage right now.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
The 2001 MTV Movie Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Once Irreverent, Now Irrelevant

Pamie: She postponed their engagement.
Stee: Who needs the program now?
Pamie: Did Tara Reid always have a scaly chest? Look at her scaly chest! She looks like Grace Jones.
Stee: Yes.
[Pamie and Stee unfreeze the screen.]
Pamie: Look at those earrings! Ugh. Man. This is the year of the whore. Look at those nails! This is the year of the whore.
Stee: That's not Pink!
Pamie: Whore.
Stee: That's Pink?
Pamie: And Gwen Stefani is dressed as Christina Aguilera. Pink brought her dog and has two-inch nails. I hate everybody.
Stee: I want to see her have to pull a tapeworm out of that dog's ass with those nails.
Pamie: Brilliant.

Jimmy Fallon does a joke about David Spade getting beat up by his assistant, which is pretty funny.

Stee: Is Jimmy Fallon funny? I can't tell.
Pamie: He's kinda funny. That David Spade joke was funny.
Stee: No, I know. He's funny, but...

David Spade then does an "attack Pearle Vision Center" optometrist/Pearl Harbor joke. Wow. That's the worst joke ever. He and Zhang Ziyi, the girl from Crouching Tiger..., do a terrible bit where he "translates" for her and then she takes out a sword and reads her lines badly and it takes forever and we're more bored then we were during the movie itself. It's pretty much offensive. It's a shame because Ziyi's acting like a ditzy American girl, which naturally isn't going to take her far if she can't speak English. Ah, Breakthrough Performance Male comes up. Hugh Jackman's name is funny. So is Patrick Fugit's. Sean Patrick Thomas wins for Save The Last Dance, which is an MTV film, just for the record.

Pamie: Remember how you cried at the end of that movie?
Stee: Why don't you shut up?
Pamie: Man, I love saying, "That guy's got a HUGE ACKMAN!"

Sean Patrick Thomas wears a v-neck sweater with nothing underneath. It's a risky look. ["I thought it worked for him. He's cute." -- Wing Chun] He gives a shout-out to his home state of Delaware. Hee. That's the first ever Delaware shout-out on television. ["Ha ha! That's what we said!" -- Wing Chun]

Nicole Kidman time! Aw...shit. She's on video from Australia. Eh. Bullshit. She's up at her pad on Mulholland getting head from Ewan below screen. She introduces the "Lady Marmalade" song. The four girls come out and basically do the video with a bunch of backup dancers dressed as turn-of-the-century hookers, minus the consumption and smallpox.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

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