MONDO EXTRAS

The 2002 MTV Movie Awards
Stee: The harder she tries to convince me she's a woman, the more I'm convinced she's a man.
Pamie: Hee. "...retarded guts..." is my favorite line from Memento.
Stee: So was this sketch just her handlers' attempt to convince us subliminally that Hilary Swank is the next Jodie Foster?
Pamie: Nolan looks like Cary Elwes in The Cat's Meow.
Stee: You realize you're the only one watching the awards show who's seen The Cat's Meow?

Why is Sarah Michelle holding Hilary Swank's Teeth's bandleader jacket as she announces the next presenters? It's time for Brittany Murphy and Eddie Griffin, this year's Trying Hardest To Please Everyone With Pathetic Skankiness and Self-Parody winners. Reese Witherspoon has to hide her eyes in shame. Eddie Griffin pretends he's the Undercover Brother, which is so fucking sad. Best Breakthrough Male: Colin Hanks, Orange County (ooh, not Jack Black?! Blasphemy!); DMX, Exit Wounds; Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone; Orlando Bloom, Lord of the Rings; Paul Walker, The Fast & the Furious.

Pamie: Maybe once you have sex with Eminem you just automatically become white trash.
Stee: I think Brittany Murphy was white trash before, but yeah. Aw, Reese Witherspoon is laughing at Brittany Murphy. That's fucked up. Man, I find Eddie Griffin so unfunny, it's astounding.
Pamie: This fake acting is driving me to drink.
Stee: DMX!
Pamie: "What! Uhn!" What is this the award for, most eclectic dinner party?
Stee: "'allo DMX. I'm Daniel Radcliffe. Could you pass the potatoes, please?"
Pamie: Which one is Orlando Bloom and which is Paul Walker? And does it really matter?
Stee: Paul Walker is nominated? He made Ja Rule look like a good actor comparatively in that movie. And that's saying a fucking whole hell of a lot.
Pamie: How are there two people named Orlando?

Ew, the award was in his 'fro. Brittany cannot stop giggling long enough. She pulls the card away from Eddie, puts her finger in the air and Redrum's it and whimpers, "I'll never tell!" She's so mad she's not nominated for anything ever. I used to really like her. Now she's fucking crazy. Eddie Griffin talks some crazy talk back to her and finally we find out that Orlando Bloom wins. He's videotaping it in with his facial hair that matches the Joker on The Joker's Wild.

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The 2002 MTV Movie Awards Why is Sarah Michelle holding Hilary Swank's Teeth's bandleader jacket as she announces the next presenters? It's time for Brittany Murphy and Eddie Griffin, this year's Trying Hardest To Please Everyone With Pathetic Skankiness and Self-Parody winners. Reese Witherspoon has to hide her eyes in shame. Eddie Griffin pretends he's the Undercover Brother, which is so fucking sad. Best Breakthrough Male: Colin Hanks, Orange County (ooh, not Jack Black?! Blasphemy!); DMX, Exit Wounds; Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone; Orlando Bloom, Lord of the Rings; Paul Walker, The Fast & the Furious.
Pamie: Maybe once you have sex with Eminem you just automatically become white trash. Stee: I think Brittany Murphy was white trash before, but yeah. Aw, Reese Witherspoon is laughing at Brittany Murphy. That's fucked up. Man, I find Eddie Griffin so unfunny, it's astounding. Pamie: This fake acting is driving me to drink. Stee: DMX! Pamie: "What! Uhn!" What is this the award for, most eclectic dinner party? Stee: "'allo DMX. I'm Daniel Radcliffe. Could you pass the potatoes, please?" Pamie: Which one is Orlando Bloom and which is Paul Walker? And does it really matter? Stee: Paul Walker is nominated? He made Ja Rule look like a good actor comparatively in that movie. And that's saying a fucking whole hell of a lot. Pamie: How are there two people named Orlando?
Ew, the award was in his 'fro. Brittany cannot stop giggling long enough. She pulls the card away from Eddie, puts her finger in the air and Redrum's it and whimpers, "I'll never tell!" She's so mad she's not nominated for anything ever. I used to really like her. Now she's fucking crazy. Eddie Griffin talks some crazy talk back to her and finally we find out that Orlando Bloom wins. He's videotaping it in with his facial hair that matches the Joker on The Joker's Wild. Seann William Scott is sitting next to Chucky from the Making the Band episode where Ashley tries to be a movie star. Drunk alert! Ben Affleck and some chick walk out to a song from five years ago. They tell us that the only people that have ever won this award before are Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler. Jim who? Best Comedic Performance: Mike Myers, Shrek; Chris Tucker, Rush Hour 2; Reese Witherspoon, Legally Blonde; Eddie Murphy, Shrek; Seann William Scott, American Pie 2.

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