MONDO EXTRAS

The 2002 MTV Movie Awards
Pamie: "Baby. Why did you do that?"
Stee: "It peed."
Pamie: "Baby. Can we get a Ghana baby now? And then we'll give it 'Ghana-rrhea.' That's funny when that happens."
Stee: "And then when I give the baby away, I'll say that the baby is 'Ghana With The Wind.'"
Pamie: "Baby. Let's fuck."
Stee: "Why would you say that? I haven't been able to have sex in three years."
Pamie: "I mean, bring in my Cambodian baby to fuck. Oh shit, I ate it."
Stee: "Are you going to use the Cambodian baby dildo again?"
Pamie: "I guess so."

Nicole wins, of course, because nobody in that building saw Monster's Ball. They whip out the Radiohead for Nicole's walk to the stage. She's shocked she's won this award. She says she's going to be sincere instead of funny. She thanks us for supporting her through a tough time. She laughs about that whole divorce thing. Then she talks about how great that Baz man is. "He kind of defied the odds," she says. She says his great mantra is to be bold, brave, take risks, and be strong. She passes it on to us. We are honored, Nicole. Honored.

Stee: "I'm kind of weirded out right now."
Pamie: "Why, baby?"
Stee: "Because you're using our Cambodian baby as a dildo."
Pamie: "Baby. Look into my eyes, baby. Do you love me?"
Stee: "Yeah, baby."
Pamie: "Would you wear my Cambodian baby dildo blood around your neck forever?"
Stee: "Forever, baby. Until I beat you, like Pietra."
Pamie: "And then I beat you back, baby."
Stee: "Baby. Does it bother you that you weigh forty-five more pounds than I do?"
Pamie: "Naw. Cuz it's all lip."
Stee: "Which pair?"
Pamie: "I think it's distributed evenly." Okay, I'm Pamie again. When the fuck are we going to see the curtain rise on the wizardry that is Baz Luhrmann, so we can see the puppy sitting on the table?
Stee: Totally. You know how when Ted Demme died, everyone was like "boo hoo" for about a week, maybe? Can you imagine if The Great Baz Luhrmann died?"
Pamie: The sun would shine a little dimmer, Stee. What just happened?
Stee: Nicole Kidman won some shit.

Mike Myers. He touches his ass. Best Movie: Legally Blonde, The Fast and the Furious, Shrek, Black Hawk Down, The Lord of the Rings. Take that, A Beautiful Mind.

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The 2002 MTV Movie Awards Stee: "It peed." Pamie: "Baby. Can we get a Ghana baby now? And then we'll give it 'Ghana-rrhea.' That's funny when that happens." Stee: "And then when I give the baby away, I'll say that the baby is 'Ghana With The Wind.'" Pamie: "Baby. Let's fuck." Stee: "Why would you say that? I haven't been able to have sex in three years." Pamie: "I mean, bring in my Cambodian baby to fuck. Oh shit, I ate it." Stee: "Are you going to use the Cambodian baby dildo again?" Pamie: "I guess so." Nicole wins, of course, because nobody in that building saw Monster's Ball. They whip out the Radiohead for Nicole's walk to the stage. She's shocked she's won this award. She says she's going to be sincere instead of funny. She thanks us for supporting her through a tough time. She laughs about that whole divorce thing. Then she talks about how great that Baz man is. "He kind of defied the odds," she says. She says his great mantra is to be bold, brave, take risks, and be strong. She passes it on to us. We are honored, Nicole. Honored.
Stee: "I'm kind of weirded out right now." Pamie: "Why, baby?" Stee: "Because you're using our Cambodian baby as a dildo." Pamie: "Baby. Look into my eyes, baby. Do you love me?" Stee: "Yeah, baby." Pamie: "Would you wear my Cambodian baby dildo blood around your neck forever?" Stee: "Forever, baby. Until I beat you, like Pietra." Pamie: "And then I beat you back, baby." Stee: "Baby. Does it bother you that you weigh forty-five more pounds than I do?" Pamie: "Naw. Cuz it's all lip." Stee: "Which pair?" Pamie: "I think it's distributed evenly." Okay, I'm Pamie again. When the fuck are we going to see the curtain rise on the wizardry that is Baz Luhrmann, so we can see the puppy sitting on the table? Stee: Totally. You know how when Ted Demme died, everyone was like "boo hoo" for about a week, maybe? Can you imagine if The Great Baz Luhrmann died?" Pamie: The sun would shine a little dimmer, Stee. What just happened? Stee: Nicole Kidman won some shit.
Mike Myers. He touches his ass. Best Movie: Legally Blonde, The Fast and the Furious, Shrek, Black Hawk Down, The Lord of the Rings. Take that, A Beautiful Mind.
Pamie: "Hey, Ben Affleck. Remember when I was supposed to be the funny blonde girl with the bad actor in the funny movie. Did that come out yet? Did people forget to go see it? Hello, Ben?"

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