MONDO EXTRAS

The 2002 MTV Movie Awards
Pamie: I don't know. But after the fiasco last year how out of breath they were during the opening, I bet they are.
Ray: I wish I would have seen the casting breakdown for the popcorn dancers.
Pamie: "...just listen up to us movie stars" ...and Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Stee: She's been in a movie, right?
Pamie: Oh, yeah. That one with the lesbian kissing. Oh, and Scooby-Doo, which I'm sure they're going to keep reminding us all show.
Stee: I guess I missed when over the last five years at some point Andy Garcia has become a joke. But man, he's a very funny joke all of a sudden. I think it was probably around Just The Ticket with Andie MacDowell.

Jack Black gloats that they kicked Moulin Rouge!'s ass. Reaction shots of Ewan and Nicole. Jack Black introduces Jennifer Garner and Charlize Theron.

Pamie: What the hell is Trapped?
Stee: What we are right now. No, I think it's one of ninety-seven new Charlize Theron movies coming out this year that I won't see.
Pamie: Is she in the Ya-Ya movie?
Stee: Sure. She might as well be, because I won't see it. Man, she fell asleep under a heat lamp.
Pamie: Look at her Barbie boobs.
Stee: Jennifer Garner is ripped.
Ray: Yeah she is. She's got work-out neck.
Stee: She also has work-out nips.
Pamie: You mean, pecs?
Stee: Those too.
Pamie: Look at Charlize Theron's fake plastic tits.
Stee: She has a chest plate. Made of some space-age polymer.

The actors can't come on the stage until the Popcorn Dancing Girls do their thing, so it takes a while. Charlize Theron looks scary. She announces it's the Year of the Man. Jennifer Garner hasn't practiced her lines. The nominees: Will Smith, Vin Diesel, Russell Crowe, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett.

Will Smith wins his one and only award for Ali. He's dressed in all white. He celebrates and forces the audience to cheer more loudly than they want to, more loudly than he deserves. He launches into that fucking Ali routine again. He thanks Jada and then once again tells her how great it is that he had to be all cut and ripped for the movie. We saw this entire conversation on Oprah last fucking November. He thanks Ali and Michael Mann. This is Will Smith's twentieth award from MTV.

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The 2002 MTV Movie Awards Ray: I wish I would have seen the casting breakdown for the popcorn dancers. Pamie: "...just listen up to us movie stars" ...and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Stee: She's been in a movie, right? Pamie: Oh, yeah. That one with the lesbian kissing. Oh, and Scooby-Doo, which I'm sure they're going to keep reminding us all show. Stee: I guess I missed when over the last five years at some point Andy Garcia has become a joke. But man, he's a very funny joke all of a sudden. I think it was probably around Just The Ticket with Andie MacDowell. Jack Black gloats that they kicked Moulin Rouge!'s ass. Reaction shots of Ewan and Nicole. Jack Black introduces Jennifer Garner and Charlize Theron.
Pamie: What the hell is Trapped? Stee: What we are right now. No, I think it's one of ninety-seven new Charlize Theron movies coming out this year that I won't see. Pamie: Is she in the Ya-Ya movie? Stee: Sure. She might as well be, because I won't see it. Man, she fell asleep under a heat lamp. Pamie: Look at her Barbie boobs. Stee: Jennifer Garner is ripped. Ray: Yeah she is. She's got work-out neck. Stee: She also has work-out nips. Pamie: You mean, pecs? Stee: Those too. Pamie: Look at Charlize Theron's fake plastic tits. Stee: She has a chest plate. Made of some space-age polymer.
The actors can't come on the stage until the Popcorn Dancing Girls do their thing, so it takes a while. Charlize Theron looks scary. She announces it's the Year of the Man. Jennifer Garner hasn't practiced her lines. The nominees: Will Smith, Vin Diesel, Russell Crowe, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett. Will Smith wins his one and only award for Ali. He's dressed in all white. He celebrates and forces the audience to cheer more loudly than they want to, more loudly than he deserves. He launches into that fucking Ali routine again. He thanks Jada and then once again tells her how great it is that he had to be all cut and ripped for the movie. We saw this entire conversation on Oprah last fucking November. He thanks Ali and Michael Mann. This is Will Smith's twentieth award from MTV.
Pamie: Man, only on MTV can Vin Diesel be nominated for Best Actor. Stee: Bullshit. The kids don't like A Beautiful Mind!

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