MONDO EXTRAS

The 2002 MTV Movie Awards

Pamie: Man, only on MTV can Vin Diesel be nominated for Best Actor.
Stee: Bullshit. The kids don't like A Beautiful Mind!
Pamie: Wow. With stiff competition like this...
Stee: Will Smith. I can't believe they're playing the R. Kelly song when just today he was arrested for pedophilia. That's one strike against pre-recording these things.
Ray: What did he do?
Stee: He fucked a fourteen-year-old, or something...According to what I've heard. No libelous suits may be brought against Television Without Pity.
Pamie: Dude. You beat out Vin Diesel. Let's calm down. Ugh, how long can he keep doing Muhammad Ali?
Stee: "...I'd like to thank my beautiful wife...Halle Berry. Uh, I mean, Jada. Yeah."
Ray: C'mon, people. You're indoors. Take of your sunglasses. Who started all that? J. Lo?
Pamie: No. It was clearly Corey Hart.
Stee: Or Corey Feldman. Jesus, is Will Smith still up there? Christ. You didn't win the Nobel Prize, holmes.
Pamie: Although, I'm sure he thinks he should have for the portrayal.

Sarah Michelle introduces those Scooby-Doo people that nobody cares about at all. The girl in the middle laughs like she's the girl from Teenapalooza. Best Kiss nominees: Colin Firth and Renée Zellweger; Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman; Beverly Polcyn and Mia Kirshner; Shannyn Sossaman and Heath Ledger; Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott. These actors are using up way too many double consonants. It's just wasteful.

Stee: Really. Does Matthew Lillard have Down's Syndrome?
Pamie: He has Up Syndrome.
Stee: Hee. No, seriously. C'mon. He has to have at least a little bit of the Down's.
Pamie: He has a Chris Wylde kind of face. All sloppy.

Everyone's so grossed out that the two guys kissing wins. Seann William Scott has to go up and accept the award, as it's the only thing scheduled this year on his Palm Pilot. He jumps on his movie chair and almost eats total shit. He tries to kiss Matthew Lillard, but Matthew's already got a boyfriend. SWS says a cuss word. He says that Jason Biggs is "kicking butt on Broadway." Whatever. SWS begins the longest thank-you speech in history, where he proceeds to thank every girl that ever kissed him ever. Man, he looks like a rodent. Then he pretty much thanks himself and celebrates right over to a bong.

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The 2002 MTV Movie Awards Pamie: Wow. With stiff competition like this... Stee: Will Smith. I can't believe they're playing the R. Kelly song when just today he was arrested for pedophilia. That's one strike against pre-recording these things. Ray: What did he do? Stee: He fucked a fourteen-year-old, or something...According to what I've heard. No libelous suits may be brought against Television Without Pity. Pamie: Dude. You beat out Vin Diesel. Let's calm down. Ugh, how long can he keep doing Muhammad Ali? Stee: "...I'd like to thank my beautiful wife...Halle Berry. Uh, I mean, Jada. Yeah." Ray: C'mon, people. You're indoors. Take of your sunglasses. Who started all that? J. Lo? Pamie: No. It was clearly Corey Hart. Stee: Or Corey Feldman. Jesus, is Will Smith still up there? Christ. You didn't win the Nobel Prize, holmes. Pamie: Although, I'm sure he thinks he should have for the portrayal. Sarah Michelle introduces those Scooby-Doo people that nobody cares about at all. The girl in the middle laughs like she's the girl from Teenapalooza. Best Kiss nominees: Colin Firth and Renée Zellweger; Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman; Beverly Polcyn and Mia Kirshner; Shannyn Sossaman and Heath Ledger; Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott. These actors are using up way too many double consonants. It's just wasteful.
Stee: Really. Does Matthew Lillard have Down's Syndrome? Pamie: He has Up Syndrome. Stee: Hee. No, seriously. C'mon. He has to have at least a little bit of the Down's. Pamie: He has a Chris Wylde kind of face. All sloppy.
Everyone's so grossed out that the two guys kissing wins. Seann William Scott has to go up and accept the award, as it's the only thing scheduled this year on his Palm Pilot. He jumps on his movie chair and almost eats total shit. He tries to kiss Matthew Lillard, but Matthew's already got a boyfriend. SWS says a cuss word. He says that Jason Biggs is "kicking butt on Broadway." Whatever. SWS begins the longest thank-you speech in history, where he proceeds to thank every girl that ever kissed him ever. Man, he looks like a rodent. Then he pretty much thanks himself and celebrates right over to a bong.
Stee: This is the only place where Macy Gray is still being played anywhere in America. Man, the phrase "Jason Biggs is on Broadway" is perhaps the saddest sentence ever said anywhere.

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