MONDO EXTRAS

The 2003 MTV Video Music Awards
Stee: How can you call this R&B?!? Seriously. Go listen to...R&B? Man, I sound so old, but seriously...
Pamie: I know.
Stee: How can...
Pamie: Wait a minute...Aaliyah is the one who died, right?
Stee: Yes, but Aaliyah produced this song in case she died.
Pamie: Dude, this "Boo" song of Kelly Rowland's is, like, two years old, isn't it?
Stee: "Ohhh!"
Pamie: Ugh, I hate it.
Stee: "Ohhh!"
Pamie: How can...and Beyoncé's song came out a day ago...and wasn't it a hip-hop song a few minutes ago? I'm so confused. We're old!
Stee: Seriously, R&B is...ugh. "(Sitting on the) Dock of the Bay."
Pamie: Beyoncé's gonna win.

The winner is Beyoncé.

Pamie: I called that shit.
Stee: This is such a good song.
Pamie: Too many words.
Stee: I can't believe she sold out to Pepsi.
Pamie: I think we're gonna get to see some boobie. Beyoncé: worst outfit you've ever had.
Stee: Do you think her dad still controls every single aspect of her life?
Pamie: Yeah. And her mom.

Beyoncé's boobies almost fall out as she takes the stage. Her legs have to have been artificially elongated. Seriously. She thanks Destiny's Child and the two guys who "helped" her write the song. She doesn't thanks the director. Missy is probably the only artist who actually knew who directed his or her video.

Stee: She's so scared of her father.
Pamie: She said "wuddn't."
Stee: "I'd like to thank Kelly and Michelle -- that other girl we could fire at any moment. The one who gets 7% of the profits."
Pamie: What were we calling her? Temporancé.
Stee: Temporancé. Now, what is Destiny's Child, actually?
Pamie: The name? What's it mean?
Stee: Yeah.
Pamie: You're obsessed with band names. We've got Chingy coming up. What's that mean?

So now outside, Jessica Simpson and that husband of hers hold some viewer trivia contest.

Pamie: Jessica Simpson's hair is eating her. So you don't have to recap Sorority Life ever again?
Stee: No, we cancelled that shit. Didn't we? ["Oh, yes." -- Wing Chun]

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The 2003 MTV Video Music Awards Stee: "I'd like to thank Kelly and Michelle -- that other girl we could fire at any moment. The one who gets 7% of the profits." Pamie: What were we calling her? Temporancé. Stee: Temporancé. Now, what is Destiny's Child, actually? Pamie: The name? What's it mean? Stee: Yeah. Pamie: You're obsessed with band names. We've got Chingy coming up. What's that mean? So now outside, Jessica Simpson and that husband of hers hold some viewer trivia contest.
Pamie: Jessica Simpson's hair is eating her. So you don't have to recap Sorority Life ever again? Stee: No, we cancelled that shit. Didn't we? ["Oh, yes." -- Wing Chun] Pamie: MTV is desperately in need of new programming. Yikes. Stee: No shit. All seven of those shows I used to recap. And cancelled all of them midseason. I am the killer of MTV shows.
The girl loses. So do we all. Commercials.
Pamie: That girl's an idiot. Why would she ever think Eminem...? Stee: What a fucking moron. Pamie: She sucks. Stee: GC could stand for: "God! Cut it out!"
Back. Evanescence and Sean Paul. Two names you'll never find in our CD rack. Actually three.
Pamie: [falsetto] "Wake me up laaaah-laaaah! Ohhh-laaa-llaaa!!!" Stee: "Ooohhh laa laa ooooooooh!" Pamie: "Wake me up insiiiiiiiioooooohhohohhhoooo!" Stee: They love Jesus, you know. Pamie: As much as they love opera. Stee: You know what Sean Paul loves? Terrible music. Pamie: He certainly does. Stee: I love that Puffy's wearing a "Remember Barry White" shirt. He loves...does he just read the obituaries and then, "I'm gonna make a song for Sheila Goldsmith in Brooklyn! 81!" Pamie: He buys all his shirts from Y-Que. Next week he's wearing a "Free Martha Stewart" shirt.
The Christians say they love watching movies on their tour bus. Sean Paul says there is something he likes to do more on his tour bus. The guy says that you can watch the video when you don't have time for the whole movie. "True," says Sean Paul, very seriously.
Pamie: What are we talking about? What is Sean Paul, exactly? Stee: Uh, I don't wanna say because I got so much angry email when I dissed him during an Osbournes recap.

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