Pamie: People didn't used to say --
Stee: -- That rock is full of hos.
Pamie: People didn't used to say it like that. Like, "I'm waiting to see some boobies." You saw that promo, where they were voting based of the girl's asses. It wasn't so blatant before. "She's fat so I don't think she should win."
Stee: Who said she's fat?
Pamie: He just said Kelly Clarkson had "too much junk in her trunk." But she "has a nice rack" and he's fucked uglier girls.
Stee: And you are upset that Kelly Clarkson's getting dissed on Crank Yankers?
Pamie: I'm just mad that...people don't talk about all these ugly-ass rappers, and they keep calling 50 Cent a hottie! He has a bullet hole in his face!
Stee: Well, so does Christina Aguilera.
Pamie: No. That is a cockhole.
Stee: Maybe that's what GC stands for.
Pamie: Gangrene Cockhole.
Stee: Ew. Gigantic Cockhole.
Next is Nelly and Murphy Lee or whatever that guy is. Murphy Lee plugs his album. They talk about how they like "sexy asses." The jokes bomb. Nelly likes his girls to get a little dirty. "You want a girl brings the beauty and the booty." What the fuck is happening? Oh, it's Xtina. She has a tiny ass, by the way, but whatever. Nelly don't see so good now that the face cancer has spread.
Stee: I don't understand what's going on.
Pamie: That guy did that horrible "Shake Your Tailfeather" song with Puffy and the "OHHHH-OH-oh, OH-OH!"
Stee: Ow. Okay. Got it.
Pamie: Nelly just grabbed his crotch and then rubbed his fingers together to feel whatever substance he just picked off his crotch.
Stee: Maybe he's carrying his face bandage in a different place now.
Pamie: Oh, my goodness. Christina Aguilera just performed. And I say that with nine sets of quotation marks around the word "performed."
Why does Xtina get to sing again? Anyway, Redman is standing on some jungle gym as dancers slide around and climb like children at recess hopped up on Dr Pepper and graham crackers. The sound is so terrible, we think she might actually be singing. Why is Redman even bothering? Then out from the sewers of New York comes the Gigantic Head of Dave Navarro. His dome is so fucking huge, even Lenny Kravitz is sitting there going, "Damn, that man's head is huge." So this is an Xtina medley. How lucky we are.
Pamie: I figured it out. He looks like Nipsey Russell in The Wiz as the Tin Man. Stee: Who does? Pamie: The guy from Outkast. Stee: Which one? Pamie: The one in the pink suspenders.