Pamie: I figured it out. He looks like Nipsey Russell in The Wiz as the Tin Man.
Stee: Who does?
Pamie: The guy from Outkast.
Stee: Which one?
Pamie: The one in the pink suspenders.
Stee: Oh, I didn't see The Wiz.
Pamie: What? You never saw The Wiz?
Pamie: We should turn this off and watch it right now.
Stee: Um, I'm a guy.
Pamie: You should still see The Wiz! It's important! It's why parking garages are scary.
Stee: AFI is the American Filmmakers Institute.
Pamie: Yes. And makers of horrible music.
Stee: At the same time. I feel sort of sorry for AFI. You know why?
Pamie: Why do you feel sorry for AFI?
Stee: Well, because they probably bought cars and a house and...they're just going to have to sell it all in a year.
Stee: Now, you're going to have to explain someday why I'm supposed to care about Mary J. Blige.
Pamie: And why is she on the MTV2 awards?
Stee: Who is she?
Pamie: She's like a...mom. She doesn't want any drama. She knew Biggie.
Stee: Does she not like hateration?
Pamie: Not in this dancery.
The winner is A.F.I. So the guys come up on stage. Hee. The main dude looks so girly. They all have the girliest voices ever. Someone thanks Steve Martin. Really? First Girlie thanks their web fans. (And pages and pages of "A.F.I. Thanked Me Personally!!!" fanfic ensue.) Commercials. Well, the commercials that fall between the one big commercial that is the show, that is.
Pamie: I love how the MTV2 winners every year hate being there, because they know nobody will ever care about them again.
Stee: Oh. Are these the Queer Eye guys?
Pamie: It's Screech.
Stee: Why did he just thank Steve Martin?
Pamie: Maybe he works for The Firm.
Stee: "The Despair Faction"? And the "Fifth Column"?
Pamie: Are those bands?
Stee: I'm guessing those are their fans.
Pamie: Both of them? That's sad.
Stee: I'm starting to feel "disparrre."
Pamie: You made me snort.
Back and better than ever.
Pamie: They're back on. Oh, dear. The Olsen Twins. You over-TiVo'ed.
Pamie: They're back on. Oh, dear. The Olsen Twins. You over-TiVo'ed. Stee: This is going to be the worst thing ever. Pamie: The David Spade movie? Stee: No, David Spade with the Olsen Twins. They're gonna pretend to laugh...Rock introduces the Olsen twins and David Spade. "Let's Get Retarded" plays. They do a joke that doesn't work. David Spade is used to jokes that don't work. David Spade is a joke that doesn't work. The sparse facial hair David Spade grew in an effort to look older just makes him look like he needs some Oxy strips. It's Best Pop Video time! "Dirrty" (Xtina with Redman). "Sk8ter Boi" (Avril Lavigne with Redman) "Underneath It All" (No Doubt with Lady Saw and Snoop). "Cry Me a River" (Justin Timberlake with Method Man and Dave Navarro). "Miss Independent" (Kelly Clarkson with Redman and Pharrell and Method Man and Snoop and Victoria Jackson and Squeeze).
Pamie: "Get retarded?" Whose song is this? And why are they walking out to it? Stee: David Spade couldn't think of any jokes. Pamie: Hy-sterical. I can't wait for the Avril Lavigne movie! Stee: I've never heard this song before. Pamie: Ugh. I hate this No Doubt song. I hope Justin wins. Stee: The one that says, "Thanks for cheating on me, Britney." Pamie: Justin's so sad!"Cry Me a River" wins. Show Britney! Show Britney! Damn. She's long gone. Justin goes up with Timberlake. Justin says that he is "the Punk'd bitch." Missy laughs. Whoa! She's suddenly dressed in a green plaid golf suit. Justin takes his award.
Pamie: Yay! Justin won. Stee: So? Pamie: He's gonna talk now. Stee: You like Justin? Pamie: Of all those nominees? I'd rather he talked. Stee: Well, that's...yeah. Pamie: Remember when he was the ugly one? Stee: Was he? Pamie: Of *NSYNC, the ugliest boy band of all time.