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The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Show Round-Ups

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The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Show Round-Ups

Ooh, controversy! Religion! Homosexuality! Prescription-pill addiction! And yet, even with all of that, the show about an Episcopalian priest, his family, and his possibly hallucinatory conversations with Jesus was actually quite boring. Four episodes and out. -- Kim

Charmed
It's a fact: Charmed über-producer Brad Kern got the WB's go-ahead for an eighth season only if he agreed to slash the per-episode production budget by one-fifth AND add a character that could be spun off into his or her own series at some point in the unspecified (and unsuspecting) future. The result of Big Bad Brad's acquiescence to the network's demands? Quite possibly the absolute worst season of an already-bad television show in the history of the medium.

The drastically reduced budget left us with no Doormat (which...yeah. No big loss), no location shooting (call it "B. Kern's 'Trapped On The Backlot,'" for the lack of locational variety helped make the episodes seem as endlessly boring as the afore-referenced hip-hopera), abysmally horrendous "special" "effects" (that hubcap-on-strings spaceship in Plan 9 From Outer Space? Better), indifferently stunt-cast D-list guest "stars" (Jason Lewis, we're looking at you), and -- worst of all for those fans who had so loyally slogged through the previous seven years -- no Dolt for half the season. (That massive explosion you heard the evening of November 27th, 2005, was thousands of twelve-year-old P!P3r+L30=4EVAH!!!!!11!!!1 fangirls detonating in rage when the delightful Angel Of Teasley turned Our Favorite Angelically Beer-Gutted And Gargoyle-Faced Waste Of Space into a massive Doltsicle.)

But even worse than the above was the addition of talent-free Kaley Cuoco to the cast as The Ultimate Maggoty-Necked Retarded Bimbo, the Mary Sue character Big Bad Brad so delusionally believed could carry her own show. The resssst of ussss, of coursssse, realizssssed within the first three ssssecondssss of her appearancsssse on-sssscreen that the fried-haired, oddly proportioned, and unbearably hissssssssy atrocity couldn't be trusted to carry a scrunchie. Not that any of that really matters anymore, because, you know, CANCELLED! Hooray! --Demian

Commander in Chief
It's a story as old as the hills -- woman is recruited to run as VP for largely PR purposes...president dies suddenly...woman is asked to resign...woman decides to ignore them all and try her hand at running the United States. President Mackenzie Allen worked to juggle everything from a Secretary of State twirling his moustache and using every underhanded move he could imagine to get her out of office, to a husband uncomfortable in his First Gentleman role, to her teenage daughter losing her diary in which she'd apparently written grave military secrets. Or something like that, to hear the Secret Service tell it. Would her son be able to get a date? Would her older daughter ever respect her mother's politics? Would the youngest daughter continue to be sickeningly cute? And could Mac figure out how to successfully lead the free world in addition to her family? We'll never know, since despite it getting off to a scorching start with America, no one at TWoP was actually very interested and we called it after only three episodes. -- Lauren S

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Mondo Extra
The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Show Round-Ups

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Show Round-Ups

Ooh, controversy! Religion! Homosexuality! Prescription-pill addiction! And yet, even with all of that, the show about an Episcopalian priest, his family, and his possibly hallucinatory conversations with Jesus was actually quite boring. Four episodes and out. -- Kim

Charmed
It's a fact: Charmed über-producer Brad Kern got the WB's go-ahead for an eighth season only if he agreed to slash the per-episode production budget by one-fifth AND add a character that could be spun off into his or her own series at some point in the unspecified (and unsuspecting) future. The result of Big Bad Brad's acquiescence to the network's demands? Quite possibly the absolute worst season of an already-bad television show in the history of the medium.

The drastically reduced budget left us with no Doormat (which...yeah. No big loss), no location shooting (call it "B. Kern's 'Trapped On The Backlot,'" for the lack of locational variety helped make the episodes seem as endlessly boring as the afore-referenced hip-hopera), abysmally horrendous "special" "effects" (that hubcap-on-strings spaceship in Plan 9 From Outer Space? Better), indifferently stunt-cast D-list guest "stars" (Jason Lewis, we're looking at you), and -- worst of all for those fans who had so loyally slogged through the previous seven years -- no Dolt for half the season. (That massive explosion you heard the evening of November 27th, 2005, was thousands of twelve-year-old P!P3r+L30=4EVAH!!!!!11!!!1 fangirls detonating in rage when the delightful Angel Of Teasley turned Our Favorite Angelically Beer-Gutted And Gargoyle-Faced Waste Of Space into a massive Doltsicle.)

But even worse than the above was the addition of talent-free Kaley Cuoco to the cast as The Ultimate Maggoty-Necked Retarded Bimbo, the Mary Sue character Big Bad Brad so delusionally believed could carry her own show. The resssst of ussss, of coursssse, realizssssed within the first three ssssecondssss of her appearancsssse on-sssscreen that the fried-haired, oddly proportioned, and unbearably hissssssssy atrocity couldn't be trusted to carry a scrunchie. Not that any of that really matters anymore, because, you know, CANCELLED! Hooray! --Demian

Commander in Chief
It's a story as old as the hills -- woman is recruited to run as VP for largely PR purposes...president dies suddenly...woman is asked to resign...woman decides to ignore them all and try her hand at running the United States. President Mackenzie Allen worked to juggle everything from a Secretary of State twirling his moustache and using every underhanded move he could imagine to get her out of office, to a husband uncomfortable in his First Gentleman role, to her teenage daughter losing her diary in which she'd apparently written grave military secrets. Or something like that, to hear the Secret Service tell it. Would her son be able to get a date? Would her older daughter ever respect her mother's politics? Would the youngest daughter continue to be sickeningly cute? And could Mac figure out how to successfully lead the free world in addition to her family? We'll never know, since despite it getting off to a scorching start with America, no one at TWoP was actually very interested and we called it after only three episodes. -- Lauren S

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17Next

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