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The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

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The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Jonathan Antin's "SE-phora" or "Se-PHOR-a" dilemma on Blowout, which, truth be told, many of us have faced ourselves. The next Tubey auction will be to raise money for an accent mark for Sephora's stores. -- Omar G

Best Very Special Episode, Animation Edition
The first season of Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks on Adult Swim was largely hit or miss, but it reached an artistic high in its "Return of the King" episode, which aired the day before the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. Imagining a world where MLK comes out of a coma only to find a U.S. in the midst of a pointless war, Bill O'Reilly-type TV personalities ready to take him down, and very little in the way of racial harmony, the episode was smart, fearless, funny, and achingly poignant. Martin Luther King Jr.'s sorrowful bewilderment (he doesn't know whether to get the 20-gig iPod or the 40) is nothing compared to the anger of his final speech, where he lets us have it: "Is this it?! This is what I got all those ass-whoopin's for?!" Smartly, he moves to Canada. -- Omar G

The Jennifer North Memorial Citation For Pathetic Bleach-Blonde Bimbo Most In Need Of A Fatal Overdose
Billie "Maggot Neck" Jenkins, Charmed. -- Demian

Best Argument for BBC America, Non-Footballers' Wives Division
The Creature Comforts holiday special, which completely forswore all the usual Yuletide claptrap about peace on earth and goodwill toward men in favor of something infinitely more festive: clay animals who get drunk and mangle the lyrics to "The Twelve Days of Christmas." -- Sobell

Worst Premature Evacuation
David Blaine, whose tattooed, limp carcass was fished out of a fetid human fishbowl in Lincoln Center after he failed to hold his breath long enough to break the world record. Sure, it didn't help that he was also bound by chains, perhaps in an effort to promote the fledgling fetish of aquasadomasochism, but after his grave, milky-voiced declarations that he would break the record, it was a banner day for practicing schadenfreudians all over the world. -- Omar G

Multiple Choice Answer We're Most Sure About
Absolutely, positively, No Deal, NBC. -- Joe R

Best Dressed (While Hitting Bottom)
Desperate Housewife Bree Van de Kamp, wearing a delightful emerald green sateen cocktail dress, sparingly and classically accessorized with an empty bottle of chardonnay, while passed out on the floor of a dressing room at "McMacy's." -- Evany

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Mondo Extra
The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The 2005-2006 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Jonathan Antin's "SE-phora" or "Se-PHOR-a" dilemma on Blowout, which, truth be told, many of us have faced ourselves. The next Tubey auction will be to raise money for an accent mark for Sephora's stores. -- Omar G

Best Very Special Episode, Animation Edition
The first season of Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks on Adult Swim was largely hit or miss, but it reached an artistic high in its "Return of the King" episode, which aired the day before the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. Imagining a world where MLK comes out of a coma only to find a U.S. in the midst of a pointless war, Bill O'Reilly-type TV personalities ready to take him down, and very little in the way of racial harmony, the episode was smart, fearless, funny, and achingly poignant. Martin Luther King Jr.'s sorrowful bewilderment (he doesn't know whether to get the 20-gig iPod or the 40) is nothing compared to the anger of his final speech, where he lets us have it: "Is this it?! This is what I got all those ass-whoopin's for?!" Smartly, he moves to Canada. -- Omar G

The Jennifer North Memorial Citation For Pathetic Bleach-Blonde Bimbo Most In Need Of A Fatal Overdose
Billie "Maggot Neck" Jenkins, Charmed. -- Demian

Best Argument for BBC America, Non-Footballers' Wives Division
The Creature Comforts holiday special, which completely forswore all the usual Yuletide claptrap about peace on earth and goodwill toward men in favor of something infinitely more festive: clay animals who get drunk and mangle the lyrics to "The Twelve Days of Christmas." -- Sobell

Worst Premature Evacuation
David Blaine, whose tattooed, limp carcass was fished out of a fetid human fishbowl in Lincoln Center after he failed to hold his breath long enough to break the world record. Sure, it didn't help that he was also bound by chains, perhaps in an effort to promote the fledgling fetish of aquasadomasochism, but after his grave, milky-voiced declarations that he would break the record, it was a banner day for practicing schadenfreudians all over the world. -- Omar G

Multiple Choice Answer We're Most Sure About
Absolutely, positively, No Deal, NBC. -- Joe R

Best Dressed (While Hitting Bottom)
Desperate Housewife Bree Van de Kamp, wearing a delightful emerald green sateen cocktail dress, sparingly and classically accessorized with an empty bottle of chardonnay, while passed out on the floor of a dressing room at "McMacy's." -- Evany

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

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