MONDO EXTRAS

The '60s redux, again, some more

by Alex Richmond June 16, 2002
The '60s

Robert Kennedy speaks about how we didn't win the war in Vietnam, and didn't even take away even one city from "the enemy." Yeah, we really didn't win that one, at all. Lyndon Johnson says he "shall not seek and will not accept another nomination...for president." Wow, heavy. Dad slugs back whiskey.

Julia Stiles strips, to scattered applause. I guess getting a real job was out of the question for her as well. She puts on a robe and walks offstage, where a sleazy stage manager says a patron wants to speak to her "privately." Julia asks, "How private?" She goes over to a table, where some scumbag lays out money, then tries to paw her. She gets up, socks the guy, then screams, "I QUIT!" to her sleazy manager. Wow, that was a brief epiphany.

Julia walks the streets of San Francisco with her baby. Wow, the Mission sure is scummy. Nothing has changed since the '60s there, has it? ["Well, except for that Gap on the Haight." -- Sars] She sniffles and promises baby Rainbow that she'll find them "a warm, safe place to stay," right after tonight. The Velvet Underground's "Heroin" starts up. VU -- gritty! Gritty, gritty, gritty. Someone steals her bag and runs off. Julia screams, "HEY!" and her baby totally upstages her by breaking out into sobs right on cue. Wow, give that baby actor an Emmy, and some therapy, stat! Julia cries and tries to soothe her baby, to no avail.

Julia calls home. Mom and Dad yell at once, but the phone needs another ten cents. As Mo Tucker's drums pound and Moonies run by in their orange robes and everyone screams to be heard, the phone goes dead. Mom yells, "That was KATIE!" at Dad. Julia screams at no one in particular, "Peace and love my ASS! I hate this damn city!" The TV behind her shows RFK announcing his candidacy for president.

Martin Luther King makes his speech about getting to the promised land, and we see footage of his assassination and funeral. We land at Columbia University, where Kenny is organizing a sit-in because Columbia had a separate entrance for black people at one of its swimming pools. "That's INSANE!!" he screams. The students shout and swarm into the buildings. Kenny takes over the president's office and tosses out his cigars. He asks Sarah to be "in charge of the Mayo Committee," as in, feed the people, woman. Shut up, Kenny.

Kenny yells out of the window, and a sandwich-less Sarah approaches and says the alumni committee wants "a list of demands." Kenny is all, the alumni committee? He's got NBC and the New York Times outside! So the alumni committee is going to have to wait! And so is Sarah! She just stands in his face and doesn't go away. He's all, what, do you have something to say? She's all, what if I do? But "no one gets to talk when you're around." Woo! Kenny throws up his hands and says he "doesn't have time to talk about this now."

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The '60s redux, again, some more

by Alex Richmond June 16, 2002
The ’60s We have bonfire. Michael sits by himself. Sarah walks over and says, wow, man, that was really cool how he "kept a lot of people from getting hurt." Yeah, and wasn't it uncool of your stupid boyfriend to send people rushing onto soldier's bayonets, practically? Michael says that "mostly [he] was thinking about one of them," and that it was "crazy" for Kenny to send her and other chicks up front. It wasn't "crazy," says Sarah, because it "gets on the news, and what doesn't get on the news doesn't count." This movie was brought to you by NBC. Michael says her comment was "paid political commentary" and he knows a dozen people like Kenny, who will only ever "care about people in the abstract" and "claim[s] to love humanity except face-to-face." They stare at each other, their noses an inch apart. Oh, go do it already. You want to know a mean thing my boyfriend said to me lately? As I was slaving over this recap (for you, dear reader), he asked if anyone was going to read it. Oh, snap! What a dis! I was all, SARS asked me to do it, hello, and who has good taste? Sars has good taste. And yes, I have no idea how many people will read it until it comes out, but one thing I'm glad of is that there isn't a big old honking board to moderate. So, we have the long-time-coming scene in which Julia Stiles yells at Donovan Leitch for being a deadbeat. Carnie Wilson takes the baby away so they can fight with their hands free. Their baby, Rainbow, has pneumonia and Donovan only has $6 because he just bought this dynamite "lid." Does she want some? NO, she yells. Julia? Seriously, just smoke a leetle beet. It's really not bad. Illegal, yes, but not bad. She asks if he's ever thought about getting "a real job." Ha ha ha ha ha! He's an artist, man! A stoned lady says her "shaman said to avoid all baaaad vibes." Hee. There's a Philly band called the Bad Vibes. Check them out. The blip says, "Northwestern University, 1968." Students assemble in the lawn. Kenny says haltingly to the group that they should "try not to freak out the middle class." Then we get a "please vote for McCarthy" montage, ending with Michael asking his mom to vote for McCarthy, and to please do his laundry. She laughs and says yes. As she folds, he tries to get her to sign the petition. She says, "Not every issue is worth fighting for." Spoken like a grown-up. He says it's about trying to end the war and to bring Brian back home. Dad walks in, and they both stop talking. Mom says there's a letter from Brian, and Dad rushes to open it. He reads out loud that Vietnam "ain't a Hilton but [Brian's] warm and dry." And he'll be home from war in six months. Dad says, "You hear that, Mr. Clean-for-Gene?" Mom signs the petition, and asks that her husband show the same respect for her opinions that she does for his. Woo, go sister!

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