MONDO EXTRAS

The '60s redux, again, some more

by Alex Richmond June 16, 2002
The '60s

Moments later, Jerry is tripping his face off, man. He blows bubbles in the mud. Wow, sloooow motion. Getting flashbacks to Woodstock '99, man! It's not good! No members of Jefferson Airplane were harmed in the making of this TV movie. Eat the brown acid, did you? Uh-oh. Someone gets carried away on a stretcher in front of Jerry. One Vietnam freak-out, coming up. As a sitar plays crazily, he smears mud on his face and screams, "AHHRRRRRR!!"

Woodstock freak-out clean-up tent. The rest of Woodstock is the freak-out staging area. This is where people chill. An extra who looks like Sideshow Bob passes by the camera. Wavy Gravy explains to Jerry that he ate some acid and freaked out. Shut up, Wavy Gravy. Go eat the ice cream named after you again, some more. Julia Stiles cleans her brother off without recognizing him, and hears him saying over and over, "My name is Brian. My name is Brian. My name is Brian." The sad oboe plays. Hey, they're brother and sister! Reunited and it feels so good. Oh no, Jerry O'Connell is making his crying face again. Get him a laxative! They have tea as The Band starts up. Take a load off, Jerry. Take a load, for free. Michael walks up and sees his sister and her baby, also named Michael Rainbow.

The three kids come home, together. The '60s are almost over and the family is back together. Dad just says, "It's the kids." Mom cries and hugs her daughter close. Julia makes a bad crying face like Jerry. Then Michael introduces Michael Rainbow, the kid. Take a load off, Annie.

Oh my god, spare me The Doors. Sarah and Michael make out in a hotel room. They're there to cover the Weathermen, but fooling around takes priority. He says that they're "destined to be together." She says she doesn't want to "be a shadow," and that she "really needs a friend." He says Kenny just "kept [her] busy," and Michael's "the real deal" and she's "scared" of that. He says bye and heads to the door. She says, "Don't give up," and he asks why not. "Because she breaks like a little girl." Oh, fuck off with the quoting of Dylan. You blew it, Sarah. Michael is out of there.

David Alan Grier is in a wicked cool-looking afro. He lectures Charles Jr. on how hate will trick him, and won't bring him closer to his dead dad. Wow, that was a short scene! It was like four lines! Bye, David Alan Grier.

Hey, Kenny is in the Weathermen. Sarah walks into his scummy apartment and looks skeeved. I worked with a cool, talented chick at this ad agency whose dad was in the Weathermen. Sometimes they had heated phone calls, and I'd think she was being really tough with a client. But it was her dad! Kenny builds a bomb, puffs on a joint, and says, "This is a cash-and-carry operation...if the organization needs to score a lid, so be it!" Kenny, now sporting beach-blond locks a la Eminem, has the best lines, next to Carnie Wilson. Sarah throws some money is his face and looks disgusted. What happened to you, Kenny man? You used to be cool. Well, cooler than this. She quotes Allan Ginsberg's "Howl" at him. Oh, shut up, Sarah. Do you ever say anything that didn't originate in someone else's mind? But she does dump Kenny, so good for her. He's all, "Run away, my little bourgeois princess." She leaves, he tinkers with his bomb, and guess what. That's right. Kaboom. Good thing Sarah left!

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The '60s redux, again, some more

by Alex Richmond June 16, 2002
The ’60s Woo, Chicago! This Democratic Convention is not going to go well, I can tell. Kenny hands out flyers and rushes Bobby Seale. Seale's lackeys pat Kenny down, but Kenny latches onto Jerry, who followed Michael to check out "democracy in action." It looks like Kenny's yelling. Then Kenny says he's going to put Jerry on the mic to let the people hear the voice of a vet. Michael is all, uh, I don't know if that's such a good idea. Jerry ahems and says, "Uh...none of us want to be there...it's hard to explain very well...my dad, he was a Marine...I thought it was going to be like football, I thought that we could win!" Then he makes a face like crying, but looks like constipation. He just squeezes up his face like a baby making a poo. No tears, no quivering lip, no nothing. Just a squinched-up face. Footage of the actual convention. It's not good. Smoke, troops, chaos, tear gas, billy clubs. People chant, "The whole world is watching." Jerry O'Connell walks up to another vet (the army jacket is a great tip-off), bums a light, and asks where he was. Then he smokes and says, "Crazy." Nixon wins the Republican nomination. Hooray for him. He wants to "bring an honorable end to the war in Vietnam." Hooray for him! But more boys are being drafted. Michael, wearing only boxers, walks up to an army guy and says he burned his draft card. The army guy gets pissed and says his "brother died in 'Nam for scum like [Michael]." Michael says his, too, but "they haven't buried his body yet." Oakland, CA. It's Fred Hampton's breakfast program. James Brown plays. Can you guess which song? That's right. "(Say it Loud) I'm Black and I'm Proud"! Little kids, mostly boys, sit around eating. Charles Jr. Serves up food stoically until Fred Hampton, played by David Allen Grier, asks the kids if food tastes better when served with a smile. The kids yell, "YEEEAH!" Charles Jr. smiles. David Allen Grier is all, your dad was great. "Feed the people, we'll all get strong." Beautiful, baby. Finally. What everyone's been waiting for. Bong...bong...bong! Bong-bong! BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG! Yeah. Michael and his brother smoke out of a bong (bamboo, no carb) and watch the moon landing. Far. OUT. Michael asks his brother if he thinks he can handle "desolate, uncharted territory." Jerry is all, I can handle the moon. After all, he did handle the you-know-what. But Michael wasn't talking about the moon, man. He meant WOODSTOCK! Woo! People fuck in tents, get muddy, and dance wildly with bad sunglasses on. "Somebody To Love" starts up. People dance in the rain. Jerry can't decide between the reefer or the brown acid.

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