MONDO EXTRAS

The '60s redux, again, some more

by Alex Richmond June 16, 2002
The '60s

Wow, this ad for the Freedom Corps is I. Ron. Ic. How ironic that this protest and distrust-of-government-laden TV biopic is being re-aired now, as we're in a war that could be called unwinnable, and they air an ad for the Freedom Corps? I can't say it enough. Our own government has said they can't prevent future terrorist attacks. So we fight on, but can we win? I say everyone adopts my position, which is, don't fuck with anyone. So let's all not fuck with each other, okay? Then there'll be no need for Freedom Corps. Where's my bong?

Charles Jr. speaks to his father's headstone. He takes off his angry black man hat, leaves it on the grave, and ask that his dead dad pray for him.

Oakland. Fred Hampton isn't there, but a new, surly recruit is. Charles Jr. beams, and asks the kids if food tastes better when served with a smile. The kids say, "YEEAAAH!" The new recruit loosens up a bit. Charles Jr. learned how to love! And tick tick tick, the '60s are almost, almost, almost over!

Jerry O'Connell joins his dad in a bar. His dad asks if he wants a beer, and hey, does he remember this great verse of the Marine Corps song? Jerry is all, I hate that song. He's so shaggy and crazy-looking. He asks that his dad look at him, that he's "what war looks like now. Why the hell were we there in the first place? We don't even know who the enemy was!" His dad says it was "noble." Jerry says that "this was the wrong war for your principles." Dad says, "Principles are principles, and that's all we have." He raises his beer glass and drinks. Heads in sand are all we have, some of us (cough cough, war on terrorism, cough).

Michael stands in front of the draft jury and speechifies. Why are we bombing Vietnam, and lying about it? He "can't justify fighting an immoral war...love is better than hate...this war is wrong." Jerry steps up to say something on his brother's behalf, but Dad walks in and says that "that's not necessary...[he doesn't] know what a conscientious objector is, but [he] know[s] what a conscience is...and [his] son has one...he's brave enough to stand up for what he believes in!" Dad and Michael hug in that butch, clapping-each-other-on-the-back way. Oh, I opened my mouth to say "aww" but barf came out!

Family barbecue time. It's 1969 and almost over. Mom walks around carrying a huge tray of meat. When you serve it, it shows you're happy, prosperous, and on the road to healing. Yes, nothing says success like a big old platter heaped high with meat. It's a happy ending in your mouth. Dad gives his daughter a burger and then holds up two fingers and says, "Peace." She sneers and says, "It's not that easy, Dad." I would love it if Julia Stiles had screamed, "I reject your carnivorous values, DAD!!" and threw a patty in his face. But he is trying. In a lame way, but hey, you have to take what you can get. Especially when you have a dad in America, in the '60s or in any other time period. Wow, Riley's back! He brought a football to toss around. The happy music starts up, and Jerry tosses Riley a high hard one. No, not like that. Michael goes to get beer and sees Sarah drive up in a blue VW bug. She's brought him...a side of lox. She wants him back. And we have full-circle happy ending, you all. Football, meat, a reconciliation, a dad trying to get his daughter to forget all the shit he put her through. Dad tosses Sarah the football and she catches it, prompting Dad to congratulate his younger son on his choice. Everyone plays football in the yard. The end!

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The '60s redux, again, some more

by Alex Richmond June 16, 2002
The ’60s Moments later, Jerry is tripping his face off, man. He blows bubbles in the mud. Wow, sloooow motion. Getting flashbacks to Woodstock '99, man! It's not good! No members of Jefferson Airplane were harmed in the making of this TV movie. Eat the brown acid, did you? Uh-oh. Someone gets carried away on a stretcher in front of Jerry. One Vietnam freak-out, coming up. As a sitar plays crazily, he smears mud on his face and screams, "AHHRRRRRR!!" Woodstock freak-out clean-up tent. The rest of Woodstock is the freak-out staging area. This is where people chill. An extra who looks like Sideshow Bob passes by the camera. Wavy Gravy explains to Jerry that he ate some acid and freaked out. Shut up, Wavy Gravy. Go eat the ice cream named after you again, some more. Julia Stiles cleans her brother off without recognizing him, and hears him saying over and over, "My name is Brian. My name is Brian. My name is Brian." The sad oboe plays. Hey, they're brother and sister! Reunited and it feels so good. Oh no, Jerry O'Connell is making his crying face again. Get him a laxative! They have tea as The Band starts up. Take a load off, Jerry. Take a load, for free. Michael walks up and sees his sister and her baby, also named Michael Rainbow. The three kids come home, together. The '60s are almost over and the family is back together. Dad just says, "It's the kids." Mom cries and hugs her daughter close. Julia makes a bad crying face like Jerry. Then Michael introduces Michael Rainbow, the kid. Take a load off, Annie. Oh my god, spare me The Doors. Sarah and Michael make out in a hotel room. They're there to cover the Weathermen, but fooling around takes priority. He says that they're "destined to be together." She says she doesn't want to "be a shadow," and that she "really needs a friend." He says Kenny just "kept [her] busy," and Michael's "the real deal" and she's "scared" of that. He says bye and heads to the door. She says, "Don't give up," and he asks why not. "Because she breaks like a little girl." Oh, fuck off with the quoting of Dylan. You blew it, Sarah. Michael is out of there. David Alan Grier is in a wicked cool-looking afro. He lectures Charles Jr. on how hate will trick him, and won't bring him closer to his dead dad. Wow, that was a short scene! It was like four lines! Bye, David Alan Grier. Hey, Kenny is in the Weathermen. Sarah walks into his scummy apartment and looks skeeved. I worked with a cool, talented chick at this ad agency whose dad was in the Weathermen. Sometimes they had heated phone calls, and I'd think she was being really tough with a client. But it was her dad! Kenny builds a bomb, puffs on a joint, and says, "This is a cash-and-carry operation...if the organization needs to score a lid, so be it!" Kenny, now sporting beach-blond locks a la Eminem, has the best lines, next to Carnie Wilson. Sarah throws some money is his face and looks disgusted. What happened to you, Kenny man? You used to be cool. Well, cooler than this. She quotes Allan Ginsberg's "Howl" at him. Oh, shut up, Sarah. Do you ever say anything that didn't originate in someone else's mind? But she does dump Kenny, so good for her. He's all, "Run away, my little bourgeois princess." She leaves, he tinkers with his bomb, and guess what. That's right. Kaboom. Good thing Sarah left!

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