MONDO EXTRAS

The 70s, Part One

by Manimal April 29, 2000
The 70s, Part One

The Five Stairsteps' "Oooh Child" in the background. Yolanda and Quincy are handing out McGovern campaign materials. Police cars roll menacingly by. Dexter is registering voters.

Christie, in full Farrah hair and glittery white pantsuit, drags Eileen out to party with her. She shrieks so piercingly that I feel my ovaries dry up. Election eve. Christie and Eileen wait in line at a club, and a limo pulls up. "Ryan O'Neill" pulls up and Eileen is a-goggle, but Christie has eyes only for Nick. Eileen and Christie take this as a sign that Christie is "finally, in love!" Nick shows up, flaring his Carlsbad-Cavern-sized nostrils. He and Christie kiss. Nick and Eileen exchange some comments, during which Nick promises to "tame" Christie, and Christie squeals, "I thought you liked me wild!" As they walk into what I'm assuming is supposed to be Studio 54, some random guy streaks by.

Nixon headquarters. Byron and the Lip Gloss Lady are talking. Election results are rolling in. The talking head on the TV says that Nixon will be re-elected in a landslide. I think the news anchor is Huntley or Brinkley, but I couldn't really tell.

Dexter and the Black Panthers in the Atlas theater. They are bummed. Dexter stands up and gives a rousing speech about Black Power and how beautiful they are. He then lists off every group/splinter group/faction related to the Black Panthers/Muslims/NAACP and leads them all in a chant of "nation time."

Meanwhile, Whitey -- I mean, Byron -- and the LGL are getting drunk on power. The LGL has been offered a job in the private sector. Just then some other suit walks up to offer Byron a job on the White House staff, courtesy of Haldeman.

"Smiling Faces Sometimes" by the Undisputed Truth plays in the background as Nixon gives his Inaugural address while stock footage of his presidency and the Watergate scandal rolls by. Then Byron walks in on a secretary shredding all documents related to campaigning -- including the Watergate break-in. Later that evening, Byron watches Nixon lie his ass off on national TV. As he watches, the phone rings. It's that pesky Bob Woodward again. Byron goes to his ancestral home, and his dad talks him into feeling better about violating the Constitution and so on to protect the sanctity of the government against Black Power, pinkos, queers, blah blah blah. Byron asks, "So the end justifies the means?" And his dad says, "In this case, yes." Byron's dad tells him how proud he is of him. Byron tries to smile, but the huge bags under his eyes flop over his lips.

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The 70s, Part One

by Manimal April 29, 2000
The 70s, Part One The Five Stairsteps' "Oooh Child" in the background. Yolanda and Quincy are handing out McGovern campaign materials. Police cars roll menacingly by. Dexter is registering voters. Christie, in full Farrah hair and glittery white pantsuit, drags Eileen out to party with her. She shrieks so piercingly that I feel my ovaries dry up. Election eve. Christie and Eileen wait in line at a club, and a limo pulls up. "Ryan O'Neill" pulls up and Eileen is a-goggle, but Christie has eyes only for Nick. Eileen and Christie take this as a sign that Christie is "finally, in love!" Nick shows up, flaring his Carlsbad-Cavern-sized nostrils. He and Christie kiss. Nick and Eileen exchange some comments, during which Nick promises to "tame" Christie, and Christie squeals, "I thought you liked me wild!" As they walk into what I'm assuming is supposed to be Studio 54, some random guy streaks by. Nixon headquarters. Byron and the Lip Gloss Lady are talking. Election results are rolling in. The talking head on the TV says that Nixon will be re-elected in a landslide. I think the news anchor is Huntley or Brinkley, but I couldn't really tell. Dexter and the Black Panthers in the Atlas theater. They are bummed. Dexter stands up and gives a rousing speech about Black Power and how beautiful they are. He then lists off every group/splinter group/faction related to the Black Panthers/Muslims/NAACP and leads them all in a chant of "nation time." Meanwhile, Whitey -- I mean, Byron -- and the LGL are getting drunk on power. The LGL has been offered a job in the private sector. Just then some other suit walks up to offer Byron a job on the White House staff, courtesy of Haldeman. "Smiling Faces Sometimes" by the Undisputed Truth plays in the background as Nixon gives his Inaugural address while stock footage of his presidency and the Watergate scandal rolls by. Then Byron walks in on a secretary shredding all documents related to campaigning -- including the Watergate break-in. Later that evening, Byron watches Nixon lie his ass off on national TV. As he watches, the phone rings. It's that pesky Bob Woodward again. Byron goes to his ancestral home, and his dad talks him into feeling better about violating the Constitution and so on to protect the sanctity of the government against Black Power, pinkos, queers, blah blah blah. Byron asks, "So the end justifies the means?" And his dad says, "In this case, yes." Byron's dad tells him how proud he is of him. Byron tries to smile, but the huge bags under his eyes flop over his lips.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

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