MONDO EXTRAS

The 70s, Part One

by Manimal April 29, 2000
The 70s, Part One

Byron kisses Eileen on the cheek. He shouts (although the noise level isn't that loud), "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST OVER!" Eileen mutters, "I can't believe I'll still be here." Byron doesn't hear her or, like me, doesn't care.

Dexter walks in. "Hey, it's Dexter," crows Eileen, relieved to see someone who is dressed in a semi-cool fashion and who knows that velour is not an acceptable fabric for a sport coat. Eileen and Byron run over. Greetings are exchanged. Dexter says he got there by the skin of his teeth since a bunch of college brothers were having a rally. At this point the background music changes to "Think" by Aretha Franklin. Byron tells Dexter to forget about it, and to tighten his butt and dance like a white boy. Dexter says he doesn't think there's anyone at the party who can dance on Dexter's level. Wow, how cool were the NBC staff writers to have Byron acknowledge Caucasians' inherent lack of rhythm and to use the totally non-stereotypical notion that African-Americans are good dancers? My goodness, what subtlety! I'm glad that the writers were astute enough to see that jokes about what bad dancers white people are are always topical and "hep."

Cut to a dorm room. Christie and some guy are on the bottom bunk bed, sharing a joint and making out. Eileen interrupts them, and is a little shocked by their hedonism. She tells Christie that Dex is there. Christie squeals, "Finally, someone who can dance!" Dear NBC: Eddie Murphy called, and he'd like his comedy material back. Sincerely, MBTV. The guy walks out ahead of Christie as she and Eileen stop to freshen up. Christie murmurs, "He's cute," and Eileen says wryly that they're all cute until Christie gets sick of them. There's more boring and trite dialogue, and the gist of it is Christie reads a lot of Cosmo and gives some proto-Rules advice: to only talk About Him and to act like a Damsel in Distress and that's how you get the guys. Eileen is envious. Christie points out that Eileen is going out with her [Christie's] brother Byron, so Eileen doesn't have to worry about that stuff anyway. Eileen asks if Byron ever says anything about her, and I'm sorry, but Amy Smart really needs to go to an elocution teacher because her voice inflections are pure San Fernando Valley, dude, as she replies that it's "too trippy thinking about my best friend and my brother!" Also, was the word "trippy" really part of the college vernacular by 1970? Maybe yes, maybe no, but I'm sure the phrase "sucks ass" was. Christie continues as they walk through the party, "You're inseparable, like John and Yoko. The only difference is they're getting it on all the time --" and, thank God, before she can finish that sentence, they find Byron and Dexter. The gang goes onto the dance floor. Amy Smart and Guy Torry do an adequate job on the dance floor, while Brad Rowe jerks his arms up and down and flails around as he does the White Man's Overbite (tm Billy Crystal). At some point I expect his hair to sit up and wearily ask when the key grip will bring it some coffee so it can make it through one more scene.

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The 70s, Part One

by Manimal April 29, 2000
The 70s, Part One Byron kisses Eileen on the cheek. He shouts (although the noise level isn't that loud), "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST OVER!" Eileen mutters, "I can't believe I'll still be here." Byron doesn't hear her or, like me, doesn't care. Dexter walks in. "Hey, it's Dexter," crows Eileen, relieved to see someone who is dressed in a semi-cool fashion and who knows that velour is not an acceptable fabric for a sport coat. Eileen and Byron run over. Greetings are exchanged. Dexter says he got there by the skin of his teeth since a bunch of college brothers were having a rally. At this point the background music changes to "Think" by Aretha Franklin. Byron tells Dexter to forget about it, and to tighten his butt and dance like a white boy. Dexter says he doesn't think there's anyone at the party who can dance on Dexter's level. Wow, how cool were the NBC staff writers to have Byron acknowledge Caucasians' inherent lack of rhythm and to use the totally non-stereotypical notion that African-Americans are good dancers? My goodness, what subtlety! I'm glad that the writers were astute enough to see that jokes about what bad dancers white people are are always topical and "hep." Cut to a dorm room. Christie and some guy are on the bottom bunk bed, sharing a joint and making out. Eileen interrupts them, and is a little shocked by their hedonism. She tells Christie that Dex is there. Christie squeals, "Finally, someone who can dance!" Dear NBC: Eddie Murphy called, and he'd like his comedy material back. Sincerely, MBTV. The guy walks out ahead of Christie as she and Eileen stop to freshen up. Christie murmurs, "He's cute," and Eileen says wryly that they're all cute until Christie gets sick of them. There's more boring and trite dialogue, and the gist of it is Christie reads a lot of Cosmo and gives some proto-Rules advice: to only talk About Him and to act like a Damsel in Distress and that's how you get the guys. Eileen is envious. Christie points out that Eileen is going out with her [Christie's] brother Byron, so Eileen doesn't have to worry about that stuff anyway. Eileen asks if Byron ever says anything about her, and I'm sorry, but Amy Smart really needs to go to an elocution teacher because her voice inflections are pure San Fernando Valley, dude, as she replies that it's "too trippy thinking about my best friend and my brother!" Also, was the word "trippy" really part of the college vernacular by 1970? Maybe yes, maybe no, but I'm sure the phrase "sucks ass" was. Christie continues as they walk through the party, "You're inseparable, like John and Yoko. The only difference is they're getting it on all the time --" and, thank God, before she can finish that sentence, they find Byron and Dexter. The gang goes onto the dance floor. Amy Smart and Guy Torry do an adequate job on the dance floor, while Brad Rowe jerks his arms up and down and flails around as he does the White Man's Overbite (tm Billy Crystal). At some point I expect his hair to sit up and wearily ask when the key grip will bring it some coffee so it can make it through one more scene.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Comments

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