MONDO EXTRAS

I choose me

by Jessica May 16, 2003
The Beverly Hills 90210: The Reunion

This next bit is titled "Love Hurts." Is this about Brenda/Kelly/Dylan triangle? No, it's about the time Dylan hit Kelly in the head with a Jet Ski and how Brenda once got smacked by a fake rock. Dylan then tells a charming story about the episode where he and Kelly go swimming in the pool at the top of the Bel Age Hotel and how it was so cold that he had to molest her, and then she bit his lip because her teeth were chatting. Oh, my God, Dylan. Shut up! You're so much more attractive when you're all Broody McBadBoy and you just don't speak.

The next package is called "Favorite Episode." But only one person gets to talk about his favorite episode: Steve, who really enjoyed that time Kelly told everyone at Brenda's slumber party that she was date-raped. They then show her entire monologue, like, hello, FOX? I watched the show. I totally remember this scene. I'd rather hear each of them name their favorite episode without the clips, instead of having to watch this entire scene, which I've already seen several times before. Although it is a good episode. My favorite part is when Kelly squeals, "He didn't even bring a blanket," because if this show taught us anything, it taught us that if you're going to date-rape someone, it's considered proper etiquette to bring a throw of some sort.

Anyway, I guess Steve found that entire bit really moving. For what it's worth, Ian Ziering is coming off pretty likable here, especially next to Luke Perry, who is acting like a total tool. Steve then mentions that the Kelly Was Date-Raped episode was the same episode in which Those Two Girls Stole His 'Vette, and this leads into a story about how he once let Brenda drive the 'Vette and she totally fucked it up and he took the fall for her. "And they never let me drive the car again," Steve says. "Dude," Dylan says. Everyone chuckles. That story sucked. This entire special sucks. I sort of hate clip shows, period, but there are so many better clips they could have shown. What about the entire Emily Valentine period? With the possibly poisoned cake and the Euphoria and the many, many phone calls and the destruction of the float? Those were some good times, people!

Next: Brenda complains about how they didn't get to shoot the show at a studio, but were instead isolated on this soundstage in Van Nuys. And sadly, their dressing rooms were not glamorous and they shared a common wall with a large porn distributor. That's the saddest story ever, Brenda. I'm sobbing for you. Mostly because your teeth look totally insanely huge and gray and weird, but also because it's a shame that none of you could ever find Brian Austin Green, because he was hanging around the porn shoots all the time.

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I choose me

by Jessica May 16, 2003
The Beverly Hills 90210: The Reunion This next bit is titled "Love Hurts." Is this about Brenda/Kelly/Dylan triangle? No, it's about the time Dylan hit Kelly in the head with a Jet Ski and how Brenda once got smacked by a fake rock. Dylan then tells a charming story about the episode where he and Kelly go swimming in the pool at the top of the Bel Age Hotel and how it was so cold that he had to molest her, and then she bit his lip because her teeth were chatting. Oh, my God, Dylan. Shut up! You're so much more attractive when you're all Broody McBadBoy and you just don't speak. The next package is called "Favorite Episode." But only one person gets to talk about his favorite episode: Steve, who really enjoyed that time Kelly told everyone at Brenda's slumber party that she was date-raped. They then show her entire monologue, like, hello, FOX? I watched the show. I totally remember this scene. I'd rather hear each of them name their favorite episode without the clips, instead of having to watch this entire scene, which I've already seen several times before. Although it is a good episode. My favorite part is when Kelly squeals, "He didn't even bring a blanket," because if this show taught us anything, it taught us that if you're going to date-rape someone, it's considered proper etiquette to bring a throw of some sort. Anyway, I guess Steve found that entire bit really moving. For what it's worth, Ian Ziering is coming off pretty likable here, especially next to Luke Perry, who is acting like a total tool. Steve then mentions that the Kelly Was Date-Raped episode was the same episode in which Those Two Girls Stole His 'Vette, and this leads into a story about how he once let Brenda drive the 'Vette and she totally fucked it up and he took the fall for her. "And they never let me drive the car again," Steve says. "Dude," Dylan says. Everyone chuckles. That story sucked. This entire special sucks. I sort of hate clip shows, period, but there are so many better clips they could have shown. What about the entire Emily Valentine period? With the possibly poisoned cake and the Euphoria and the many, many phone calls and the destruction of the float? Those were some good times, people! Next: Brenda complains about how they didn't get to shoot the show at a studio, but were instead isolated on this soundstage in Van Nuys. And sadly, their dressing rooms were not glamorous and they shared a common wall with a large porn distributor. That's the saddest story ever, Brenda. I'm sobbing for you. Mostly because your teeth look totally insanely huge and gray and weird, but also because it's a shame that none of you could ever find Brian Austin Green, because he was hanging around the porn shoots all the time.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8Next

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