MONDO EXTRAS

I'll Have A Shoe Christmas Without You

by Mr. Sobell December 15, 2006
The Christmas Shoes Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Mama meets Jesus tonight

If those lyrics made you a little verklempt, let me suggest right away that you stop reading this recap and move on to other pursuits -- proceeding will not end happily for you. If, however, your eyes are only now returning to their proper position in your skull after their abrupt trip heavenward, then, welcome, brothers and sisters -- you'll fit in quite nicely here.

To make a long song mercifully short, the harried and put-out man helps the dirty kid buy that pair of shoes for his dying mother. And as a heavenly choir of urchins sings the above chorus, the man thanks the Lord for reminding him of the Christmas spirit. And all it took was the death of a total stranger to make him feel better about himself. It's a ridiculous anthem, full of mawkish sentiment and shallow acts of semi-kindness heralded as selfless philanthropy, topped with the kind of self-centered smugness normally reserved for Aaron Sorkin homilies. Someone responsible for "The Christmas Shoes" really needs to be punched.

I remember sharing this opinion with my father-in-law between guffaws of derisive laughter. However, my father-in-law -- an otherwise sensible fellow with little patience for the grade-A Velveeta often served up by popular culture -- took umbrage with my disdain for "The Christmas Shoes"; the words "cynical left-coast elitist" may have been tossed around in anger. And I soon learned that the majority of the civilized world seemed to take his side in this clash of cultures -- all throughout the weekend, people were calling into the radio station begging, pleading with the DJs to play this inane treacle. And in fact, the song turned out to be so terrifically popular that a woman named Donna VanLiere would churn out a novella based on this jejune pop song. I don't mean to disparage Ms. VanLiere or her literary efforts, but, several decades from now, don't expect to find The Christmas Shoes on the reading list for that "Great Books of the Early 21st Century" course they're teaching at your grandkid's university -- not if that school hopes to keep its accreditation, at any rate.

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I'll Have A Shoe Christmas Without You

by Mr. Sobell December 15, 2006
The Christmas Shoes Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Mama meets Jesus tonight

If those lyrics made you a little verklempt, let me suggest right away that you stop reading this recap and move on to other pursuits -- proceeding will not end happily for you. If, however, your eyes are only now returning to their proper position in your skull after their abrupt trip heavenward, then, welcome, brothers and sisters -- you'll fit in quite nicely here.

To make a long song mercifully short, the harried and put-out man helps the dirty kid buy that pair of shoes for his dying mother. And as a heavenly choir of urchins sings the above chorus, the man thanks the Lord for reminding him of the Christmas spirit. And all it took was the death of a total stranger to make him feel better about himself. It's a ridiculous anthem, full of mawkish sentiment and shallow acts of semi-kindness heralded as selfless philanthropy, topped with the kind of self-centered smugness normally reserved for Aaron Sorkin homilies. Someone responsible for "The Christmas Shoes" really needs to be punched.

I remember sharing this opinion with my father-in-law between guffaws of derisive laughter. However, my father-in-law -- an otherwise sensible fellow with little patience for the grade-A Velveeta often served up by popular culture -- took umbrage with my disdain for "The Christmas Shoes"; the words "cynical left-coast elitist" may have been tossed around in anger. And I soon learned that the majority of the civilized world seemed to take his side in this clash of cultures -- all throughout the weekend, people were calling into the radio station begging, pleading with the DJs to play this inane treacle. And in fact, the song turned out to be so terrifically popular that a woman named Donna VanLiere would churn out a novella based on this jejune pop song. I don't mean to disparage Ms. VanLiere or her literary efforts, but, several decades from now, don't expect to find The Christmas Shoes on the reading list for that "Great Books of the Early 21st Century" course they're teaching at your grandkid's university -- not if that school hopes to keep its accreditation, at any rate.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

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