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The Elvis-athon: Kissin’ Cousins

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Sars: D | Grade It Now!
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Playing Possum

Sars: Okay. Are you ready to be non-dazzled?

Couch Baron: Well, I'm not nearly drunk enough, but the evening is young.

Sars: Okay, let me just give the readers what passes for a "plot" in an Elvis movie. "Man tries to convince his hillbilly cousin to allow a missile site to be build on his land." One of IMDb's plot keywords? "Foot fetish."

Couch Baron: I think you should go with IMDb's "the plot synopsis is empty" and leave it at that.

Sars: This gem is from 1964, so he might be slightly less out of it than he is in the others I've watched today. I, however, aim to be completely out of it. I am so sick of Elvis Presley right now.

Couch Baron: Well, if the stories I've heard about his opinion of the wig are true, I doubt he was completely with it.

Sars: He was with it enough to protest. Apparently the movie finished late because he refused to come out of his trailer so many times due to wig horribleness.

Couch Baron: I guess I shouldn't start singing a medley for you? "Hound Dog," anyone?

Sars: The title song is awful, which is no surprise, I suppose.

Couch Baron: So does the title mean Elvis is kissing...himself? In a blond wig?

Sars: Well, some of the letters in the title card were backwards, to denote hickish wackiness, I presume. So who knows what's going to happen.

Couch Baron: "Oh, Blond Elvis, I do love kissing you!"

Sars: The first scene is...Army generals discussing a top-secret missile site? Really?

Couch Baron: How many jokes can we fit in about the Bay of Pigs?

Sars: ...The Manfattan Project?

Couch Baron: The Chinese Food Syndrome?

Sars: Three-Mile Sandwich?

Couch Baron: "...Those mountain people"? This guy is too PC to say "hillbilly" in 1964?

Sars: Well, General Exposition is laying it out for us: if this other dude doesn't get the land lease to build the missile base, he's getting transferred to Greenland. So they're trying to find a soldier from the area to talk them into giving up the lease. Guess who that soldier is.

Couch Baron: I can't understand a word Elvis said. This is going to make the movie even weirder.

Sars: "On a clear day you can see Big Smoky Mountain from my front porch." On a clear day you ARE Big Smoky Mountain, boss.

Couch Baron: With extra mesquite.

Sars: "It's like biting into a beehive"?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

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Mondo Extra
The Elvis-athon: Kissin’ Cousins

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Playing Possum

Sars: Okay. Are you ready to be non-dazzled?

Couch Baron: Well, I'm not nearly drunk enough, but the evening is young.

Sars: Okay, let me just give the readers what passes for a "plot" in an Elvis movie. "Man tries to convince his hillbilly cousin to allow a missile site to be build on his land." One of IMDb's plot keywords? "Foot fetish."

Couch Baron: I think you should go with IMDb's "the plot synopsis is empty" and leave it at that.

Sars: This gem is from 1964, so he might be slightly less out of it than he is in the others I've watched today. I, however, aim to be completely out of it. I am so sick of Elvis Presley right now.

Couch Baron: Well, if the stories I've heard about his opinion of the wig are true, I doubt he was completely with it.

Sars: He was with it enough to protest. Apparently the movie finished late because he refused to come out of his trailer so many times due to wig horribleness.

Couch Baron: I guess I shouldn't start singing a medley for you? "Hound Dog," anyone?

Sars: The title song is awful, which is no surprise, I suppose.

Couch Baron: So does the title mean Elvis is kissing...himself? In a blond wig?

Sars: Well, some of the letters in the title card were backwards, to denote hickish wackiness, I presume. So who knows what's going to happen.

Couch Baron: "Oh, Blond Elvis, I do love kissing you!"

Sars: The first scene is...Army generals discussing a top-secret missile site? Really?

Couch Baron: How many jokes can we fit in about the Bay of Pigs?

Sars: ...The Manfattan Project?

Couch Baron: The Chinese Food Syndrome?

Sars: Three-Mile Sandwich?

Couch Baron: "...Those mountain people"? This guy is too PC to say "hillbilly" in 1964?

Sars: Well, General Exposition is laying it out for us: if this other dude doesn't get the land lease to build the missile base, he's getting transferred to Greenland. So they're trying to find a soldier from the area to talk them into giving up the lease. Guess who that soldier is.

Couch Baron: I can't understand a word Elvis said. This is going to make the movie even weirder.

Sars: "On a clear day you can see Big Smoky Mountain from my front porch." On a clear day you ARE Big Smoky Mountain, boss.

Couch Baron: With extra mesquite.

Sars: "It's like biting into a beehive"?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Mondo Extra

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