Mondo Extra
The Elvis-athon: Kissin’ Cousins

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Playing Possum

Couch Baron: He looks like Beavis. The cartoon.

Sars: Pappy: just take the fuckin' money.

Couch Baron: Really, Pappy, move to Hoboken. You'll fit in. ...THIS MOVIE IS STILL GOING ON.

Sars: And nobody has shaved Blondvis's head! It's unacceptable!

Sars: Okay, Elvis. Get Pappy to give the Army what they want, today.

Couch Baron: I think Blond Elvis is hot.

Sars: You are mentally ill and not my friend anymore.

Couch Baron: I don't really, I just saw your head drifting toward the desk and resorted to desperate measures.

Sars: Effective. Evil, but effective.

Couch Baron: Oh, God, I sense the wrap-up musical number coming.

Sars: Next time just let me sleep.

Couch Baron: So it looks like Elvis has figured out which cousin to nail.

Sars: Oh, here we go.

Sars: "She's a distant cousin, but she's not too distant with me." Wow.

Couch Baron: I was just typing that. Actual lyrics, people.

Sars: I wonder how long it took to choreograph the two Elvises for this finale. Everyone is walking very gingerly, like they have to poo.

Couch Baron: At least Blond Elvis hooked up with someone other than his cousin.

Sars: Except Gym Teacher Lady, who's doing an Eartha Kitt imitation. Disturbing.

Couch Baron: Who? Eartha Kitt?

Sars: How did Elvis stay famous with shit like this? The movie's bad, the songs are worse...

Couch Baron: That other cousin got shafted. Back to Pappy!

Sars: ...Wow, that was grim.

Couch Baron: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, you owe me two bottles of wine, AT LEAST.

Sars: I feel kind of bad that we couldn't do more of an incisive recap, but I seriously had no goddamn idea what was going on from scene to scene.

Couch Baron: It was kind of like hillbilly performance art, with the usual disclaimers about "art," "performance," et cetera.

Sars: ...Shit, now I think I have the song stuck in my head.

Couch Baron: ...Which one?

Sars: "The Possum Blues"? "Possum Won't You Blow Your Horn"?

Couch Baron: There are at least three more Elvis movies on tonight. MY GOD.

Sars: "The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Possum"?

Sars: When you long for the masterpiece that is Jailhouse Rock, you know you're in trouble.

Couch Baron: "You Ain't Nothin' But A Possum"!

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Mondo Extra
The Elvis-athon: Kissin’ Cousins

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Playing Possum

Couch Baron: He looks like Beavis. The cartoon.

Sars: Pappy: just take the fuckin' money.

Couch Baron: Really, Pappy, move to Hoboken. You'll fit in. ...THIS MOVIE IS STILL GOING ON.

Sars: And nobody has shaved Blondvis's head! It's unacceptable!

Sars: Okay, Elvis. Get Pappy to give the Army what they want, today.

Couch Baron: I think Blond Elvis is hot.

Sars: You are mentally ill and not my friend anymore.

Couch Baron: I don't really, I just saw your head drifting toward the desk and resorted to desperate measures.

Sars: Effective. Evil, but effective.

Couch Baron: Oh, God, I sense the wrap-up musical number coming.

Sars: Next time just let me sleep.

Couch Baron: So it looks like Elvis has figured out which cousin to nail.

Sars: Oh, here we go.

Sars: "She's a distant cousin, but she's not too distant with me." Wow.

Couch Baron: I was just typing that. Actual lyrics, people.

Sars: I wonder how long it took to choreograph the two Elvises for this finale. Everyone is walking very gingerly, like they have to poo.

Couch Baron: At least Blond Elvis hooked up with someone other than his cousin.

Sars: Except Gym Teacher Lady, who's doing an Eartha Kitt imitation. Disturbing.

Couch Baron: Who? Eartha Kitt?

Sars: How did Elvis stay famous with shit like this? The movie's bad, the songs are worse...

Couch Baron: That other cousin got shafted. Back to Pappy!

Sars: ...Wow, that was grim.

Couch Baron: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, you owe me two bottles of wine, AT LEAST.

Sars: I feel kind of bad that we couldn't do more of an incisive recap, but I seriously had no goddamn idea what was going on from scene to scene.

Couch Baron: It was kind of like hillbilly performance art, with the usual disclaimers about "art," "performance," et cetera.

Sars: ...Shit, now I think I have the song stuck in my head.

Couch Baron: ...Which one?

Sars: "The Possum Blues"? "Possum Won't You Blow Your Horn"?

Couch Baron: There are at least three more Elvis movies on tonight. MY GOD.

Sars: "The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Possum"?

Sars: When you long for the masterpiece that is Jailhouse Rock, you know you're in trouble.

Couch Baron: "You Ain't Nothin' But A Possum"!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

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