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The Elvis-athon: Kissin’ Cousins

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | Grade It Now!
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Playing Possum

Sars: So do the Kittyhawks want to get with the general, or do they want to scare him off?

Couch Baron: I think both at once are achievable.

Sars: If they're using Gym Teacher Lady, I agree.

Couch Baron: That dog deserves a Purple Heart.

Sars: "Pappy, Won't You Please Come Home." A little bluesy number thazzzzz....

Couch Baron: What's with the musical shift in tone? She's practically in Porgy and Bess here.

Sars: And Elvis is in his trailer, eating a fried-possum-and-banana sandwich.

Couch Baron: THE POOR DOG.

Sars: And anointing his wig with oil. Actually I think the dog IS The Wig.

Couch Baron: Wig, hair, it's all the same.

Sars: Not in this case it ain't. It's like a can of spider-web concentrate, that thing.

Couch Baron: At least she's wearing the peasant top. No slutty bikinis for Mama Hillbilly!

Sars: So Pappy is...lost? I'm not complaining. I'm just curious. Wait: no I'm not. ...He's in a tree?!

Couch Baron: So the urgency is that...a branch might break?

Sars: But Elvis is saving him. "Thank" "God." Is he up here hiding his moonshine still? Hunting possum? Burying The Wig by the light of a full moon?

Couch Baron: I'm guessing Pappy's overalls could stand to be beaten on a rock in a stream right now.

Sars: I'm guessing the script could stand to...oh, why do I bother.

Couch Baron: Did you see Blond Elvis's double in that last shot? I think it was an eighty-year-old woman.

Sars: I was going to say it was Joan Rivers, but same diff.

Sars: So Gym Teacher Lady is distracting the other Army guys while the first Army guys rescue Pappy? Does that sound right?

Couch Baron: Gym Teacher Lady has been around the mountain a few times.

Sars: Without sunscreen. ...Oh, goody. A hootenanny. With square-dancing. And Elvis has insulation stapled to his head.

Couch Baron: What's a hootenanny without corn on the cob?

Sars: And western shirts with neckerchieves? ...Still think Blondvis is the better singer? He sounds like he has Conway Twitty stuck in his throat. Sideways.

Couch Baron: I think Blond Elvis is wearing Real Elvis's white shirt from before. DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS. Secret couuuuuuusins!

Sars: Should have borrowed the girdle too.

Couch Baron: I know. Maybe Elvis got confused after this and started eating for two.

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Mondo Extra
The Elvis-athon: Kissin’ Cousins

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Playing Possum

Sars: So do the Kittyhawks want to get with the general, or do they want to scare him off?

Couch Baron: I think both at once are achievable.

Sars: If they're using Gym Teacher Lady, I agree.

Couch Baron: That dog deserves a Purple Heart.

Sars: "Pappy, Won't You Please Come Home." A little bluesy number thazzzzz....

Couch Baron: What's with the musical shift in tone? She's practically in Porgy and Bess here.

Sars: And Elvis is in his trailer, eating a fried-possum-and-banana sandwich.

Couch Baron: THE POOR DOG.

Sars: And anointing his wig with oil. Actually I think the dog IS The Wig.

Couch Baron: Wig, hair, it's all the same.

Sars: Not in this case it ain't. It's like a can of spider-web concentrate, that thing.

Couch Baron: At least she's wearing the peasant top. No slutty bikinis for Mama Hillbilly!

Sars: So Pappy is...lost? I'm not complaining. I'm just curious. Wait: no I'm not. ...He's in a tree?!

Couch Baron: So the urgency is that...a branch might break?

Sars: But Elvis is saving him. "Thank" "God." Is he up here hiding his moonshine still? Hunting possum? Burying The Wig by the light of a full moon?

Couch Baron: I'm guessing Pappy's overalls could stand to be beaten on a rock in a stream right now.

Sars: I'm guessing the script could stand to...oh, why do I bother.

Couch Baron: Did you see Blond Elvis's double in that last shot? I think it was an eighty-year-old woman.

Sars: I was going to say it was Joan Rivers, but same diff.

Sars: So Gym Teacher Lady is distracting the other Army guys while the first Army guys rescue Pappy? Does that sound right?

Couch Baron: Gym Teacher Lady has been around the mountain a few times.

Sars: Without sunscreen. ...Oh, goody. A hootenanny. With square-dancing. And Elvis has insulation stapled to his head.

Couch Baron: What's a hootenanny without corn on the cob?

Sars: And western shirts with neckerchieves? ...Still think Blondvis is the better singer? He sounds like he has Conway Twitty stuck in his throat. Sideways.

Couch Baron: I think Blond Elvis is wearing Real Elvis's white shirt from before. DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS. Secret couuuuuuusins!

Sars: Should have borrowed the girdle too.

Couch Baron: I know. Maybe Elvis got confused after this and started eating for two.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

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