MONDO EXTRAS

The Scariest Two Hours Ever

by Pamie November 24, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion

The French chef is barking orders in his kitchen, because he thinks Robert is a food critic and is coming to dinner. Mrs. Garrett is making chocolate chip cookies. He tells her to stay out of his way. She offers some advice on his food, and he mon dieus all over the place, pissed that she'd suggest coriander in his food. She gives him some to try. He's so impressed with how brilliant coriander is, he gives another mon dieu, calls Mrs. Garrett a "commoner," and compliments her brilliant palate in a stage whisper. She, of course, can hear him, and giggles away, and the French chef immediately wants some of Mrs. Garrett's cookies. The ones we don't want to see or taste. He stares at her ass and we have a close-up of her ass wiggling. Horror!

Stee: That's chef is wearing a Marie Callender's outfit.
Pamie: Oh no. They're going to mix up each other's recipes!
Stee: Because Mrs. Garrett is senile. Oh no! We just got a shot of Mrs. G.'s ass!
Pamie: No! No! We're eating.
Stee: I'm blind!
Pamie: Goddamn.

Harper and Tootie flirt over drinks. Harper has this thing where his eyes widen constantly and he looks through the side of his head so you know he's suspicious.

Blair and Robert are flirting while Natalie looks around the restaurant. Robert asks if she's okay. She says she is.

Tootie is wearing a lot of hair as she discusses dating with Harper. He tries to excuse himself to the restroom, and Tootie makes him go to the bathroom out in the lobby and not in the restaurant.

That restroom is full, so Raymond sends Harper to the restroom in the dining room.

The French chef is bringing fancy free food to Robert, going on about how charmed and blah-blah-French he is as Harper walks by. Natalie freaks out and hits the floor. Blair does, too, as a slide whistle accompanies their moves. Robert asks if they're okay as a guitar "wah-wah"s the girls' predicaments. Blair says that French makes Natalie woozy. "It was always her worse subject in school," she smiles. She goes back under the table as the chef and Robert share a look. Natalie and Blair slowly rise from the floor, giggling. Natalie excuses herself. Robert tries to follow, but the French chef won't let him leave.

Pamie: Oh my god. The hair.
Stee: Whose hair are we looking at?
Pamie: Well. You can say it for any of them.

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The Scariest Two Hours Ever

by Pamie November 24, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion The French chef is barking orders in his kitchen, because he thinks Robert is a food critic and is coming to dinner. Mrs. Garrett is making chocolate chip cookies. He tells her to stay out of his way. She offers some advice on his food, and he mon dieus all over the place, pissed that she'd suggest coriander in his food. She gives him some to try. He's so impressed with how brilliant coriander is, he gives another mon dieu, calls Mrs. Garrett a "commoner," and compliments her brilliant palate in a stage whisper. She, of course, can hear him, and giggles away, and the French chef immediately wants some of Mrs. Garrett's cookies. The ones we don't want to see or taste. He stares at her ass and we have a close-up of her ass wiggling. Horror!
Stee: That's chef is wearing a Marie Callender's outfit. Pamie: Oh no. They're going to mix up each other's recipes! Stee: Because Mrs. Garrett is senile. Oh no! We just got a shot of Mrs. G.'s ass! Pamie: No! No! We're eating. Stee: I'm blind! Pamie: Goddamn.
Harper and Tootie flirt over drinks. Harper has this thing where his eyes widen constantly and he looks through the side of his head so you know he's suspicious. Blair and Robert are flirting while Natalie looks around the restaurant. Robert asks if she's okay. She says she is. Tootie is wearing a lot of hair as she discusses dating with Harper. He tries to excuse himself to the restroom, and Tootie makes him go to the bathroom out in the lobby and not in the restaurant. That restroom is full, so Raymond sends Harper to the restroom in the dining room. The French chef is bringing fancy free food to Robert, going on about how charmed and blah-blah-French he is as Harper walks by. Natalie freaks out and hits the floor. Blair does, too, as a slide whistle accompanies their moves. Robert asks if they're okay as a guitar "wah-wah"s the girls' predicaments. Blair says that French makes Natalie woozy. "It was always her worse subject in school," she smiles. She goes back under the table as the chef and Robert share a look. Natalie and Blair slowly rise from the floor, giggling. Natalie excuses herself. Robert tries to follow, but the French chef won't let him leave.
Pamie: Oh my god. The hair. Stee: Whose hair are we looking at? Pamie: Well. You can say it for any of them. Stee: Oh my. What is Natalie wearing? She looks like a big lamp in a Chinese restaurant.

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