MONDO EXTRAS

The Scariest Two Hours Ever

by Pamie November 24, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion

Stee: Hey. Tootie is hosting a talk show.
Pamie: Man, look at that girl. She's pissed she's just an extra.
Stee: Yeah, she is.
Pamie: Wow. There are, like, five writers who worked on this teleplay.
Stee: Five more people to hate in this world. Hey, is Tootie going to rollerblade everywhere?
Pamie: I was just wondering that.
Stee: There's Steve Buschemm-ee in the background. Steve Booshimi.
Pamie: Isn't he just the stage manager of the show? He has no say on whether Tootie does a play.
Stee: She doesn't know.
Pamie: Oh. [Sighs] That's her daughter.
Stee: Hey. Go figure! Nice reveal. Oh no...
Pamie: Natalie isn't even on the screen yet and you're already starting with the fat jokes.
Stee: She is too already on the screen. Part of her.
Pamie: Lord.

Warner Park Hotel. The good life. Servants, flowers, fine garments. Blair is talking to the hair she's pulling from her head. She's relieved to find that the hair is blonde. Then Blair goes off on this crazy monologue about how blonde the hair is, and that it's so blonde that it might actually be considered gray. It's hard to listen to Blair, since Lisa Whelchel's acting has actually worsened with age, and you can't really pay attention to what she's saying because the camera is so close on her face that you can see the painted black eyebrows they've given her. It's so scary. Blair keeps talking to herself in the mirror until Tad -- Blair's husband -- comes into the room. They cutsey-talk back and forth like bored rich people. Blair announces her gray hair. "I'm too rich to get old," Blair pouts. Tad makes some stupid rich comment back. He tells her she gets more beautiful every day, and he can't wait to grow old with her. They kiss. He says he's got bad news as well. He can't go to the reunion now because he's got business to attend to. Blair tosses in here that she's his attorney, and offers to write up some kind of subpoena that will solve all of his problems, but he doesn't want her help -- he just wants her gone. He says he'll join her tomorrow as long as she does something about her hair. They fall on each other to the bed.

Stee: Doesn't Blair love Jesus?
Pamie: She has to. Man, it's good to see Blair's acting skills haven't improved at all.
Stee: She looks like a really terrible Marcia Gay Harden.

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The Scariest Two Hours Ever

by Pamie November 24, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion
Stee: Hey. Tootie is hosting a talk show. Pamie: Man, look at that girl. She's pissed she's just an extra. Stee: Yeah, she is. Pamie: Wow. There are, like, five writers who worked on this teleplay. Stee: Five more people to hate in this world. Hey, is Tootie going to rollerblade everywhere? Pamie: I was just wondering that. Stee: There's Steve Buschemm-ee in the background. Steve Booshimi. Pamie: Isn't he just the stage manager of the show? He has no say on whether Tootie does a play. Stee: She doesn't know. Pamie: Oh. [Sighs] That's her daughter. Stee: Hey. Go figure! Nice reveal. Oh no... Pamie: Natalie isn't even on the screen yet and you're already starting with the fat jokes. Stee: She is too already on the screen. Part of her. Pamie: Lord.
Warner Park Hotel. The good life. Servants, flowers, fine garments. Blair is talking to the hair she's pulling from her head. She's relieved to find that the hair is blonde. Then Blair goes off on this crazy monologue about how blonde the hair is, and that it's so blonde that it might actually be considered gray. It's hard to listen to Blair, since Lisa Whelchel's acting has actually worsened with age, and you can't really pay attention to what she's saying because the camera is so close on her face that you can see the painted black eyebrows they've given her. It's so scary. Blair keeps talking to herself in the mirror until Tad -- Blair's husband -- comes into the room. They cutsey-talk back and forth like bored rich people. Blair announces her gray hair. "I'm too rich to get old," Blair pouts. Tad makes some stupid rich comment back. He tells her she gets more beautiful every day, and he can't wait to grow old with her. They kiss. He says he's got bad news as well. He can't go to the reunion now because he's got business to attend to. Blair tosses in here that she's his attorney, and offers to write up some kind of subpoena that will solve all of his problems, but he doesn't want her help -- he just wants her gone. He says he'll join her tomorrow as long as she does something about her hair. They fall on each other to the bed.
Stee: Doesn't Blair love Jesus? Pamie: She has to. Man, it's good to see Blair's acting skills haven't improved at all. Stee: She looks like a really terrible Marcia Gay Harden. Pamie: That nose.

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