MONDO EXTRAS

The Scariest Two Hours Ever

by Pamie November 24, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion

Eastland. Tootie is sad that the place is getting torn down. Blair wishes she hadn't sold the property so that it could have been named after her. Why did Blair sell it? Are they mad at her for doing that? That all makes no sense. Natalie says that the place smells exactly the same. They all decide to break into the building and go see the cafeteria. The theme song ends as the girls run up to the school, but not before Blair does a semi-pratfall in her shoes.

The girls walk through the school, ignoring their own offspring, wondering if some guy is still pining for Jo and if Tootie's tits will still fit in her uniform. They open the cafeteria door. Tootie is upset that the payphone is gone. Blair can't believe she used to do dishes. "You used to do windows, too!" a ghost moans from the hallway. Run! Oh, wait. It's Mrs. Garrett, all dressed up in a red cloak and a Tartan scarf, a tiny tam on her giant head. She's all lounged out in the doorway, announcing her arrival. The girls run and they all hug. Mrs. Garrett finally announces Baby Tootie's name. It's Tisha. "She's even more beautiful than her jpeg file," Mrs. Garrett warbles. She asks where Jo is. Blair says Jo will be there eventually.

Pamie: "Hello Harry!" Mrs. Garrett seems like she's acting in Harry Potter.
Stee: She does!
Pamie: "jpeg" file. Eh.

Rock music blares back at the hotel as the door opens and a young girl walks in wearing a motorcycle helmet and a leather jacket. Blair watches the girl walk into the room. All of the girls stop playing board games and turn to the new visitor. Raymond says, "Excuse me, little fella, why don't you wipe your feet?" He says it and he's not joking, y'all. The girl takes off her helmet and it's a Baby Jo. "Who you calling 'fella,' fella?" she says with as much horrible acting as she can muster. Everyone celebrates that Jo had a daughter just like her. Jamie is her name. Everyone kisses and hugs and they all clearly know each other. Jamie says her dad is parking the bike. They ask where Jo is, and Jamie's dad says that Jo is in Los Angeles. No lie, Mrs. Garrett then says she knows the turnpike can be confusing, "but that's ridiculous!" Jo's sorry, but she's got to be in a trial or something. Maybe Jo's a cop or something. Natalie says they haven't seen Jo in "a LIFETIME." The dad asks if he can dump Jamie off with the girls since he's got some work to do on the Backstreet Boys' new album. They would love to watch the girl. He leaves and says he'll be back in a couple of days. Mrs. Garrett asks Jamie who the Backstairs Boys are. Apparently, they're horrible people who force daddies to work on Thanksgiving.

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The Scariest Two Hours Ever

by Pamie November 24, 2001
The Facts of Life Reunion Eastland. Tootie is sad that the place is getting torn down. Blair wishes she hadn't sold the property so that it could have been named after her. Why did Blair sell it? Are they mad at her for doing that? That all makes no sense. Natalie says that the place smells exactly the same. They all decide to break into the building and go see the cafeteria. The theme song ends as the girls run up to the school, but not before Blair does a semi-pratfall in her shoes. The girls walk through the school, ignoring their own offspring, wondering if some guy is still pining for Jo and if Tootie's tits will still fit in her uniform. They open the cafeteria door. Tootie is upset that the payphone is gone. Blair can't believe she used to do dishes. "You used to do windows, too!" a ghost moans from the hallway. Run! Oh, wait. It's Mrs. Garrett, all dressed up in a red cloak and a Tartan scarf, a tiny tam on her giant head. She's all lounged out in the doorway, announcing her arrival. The girls run and they all hug. Mrs. Garrett finally announces Baby Tootie's name. It's Tisha. "She's even more beautiful than her jpeg file," Mrs. Garrett warbles. She asks where Jo is. Blair says Jo will be there eventually.
Pamie: "Hello Harry!" Mrs. Garrett seems like she's acting in Harry Potter. Stee: She does! Pamie: "jpeg" file. Eh.
Rock music blares back at the hotel as the door opens and a young girl walks in wearing a motorcycle helmet and a leather jacket. Blair watches the girl walk into the room. All of the girls stop playing board games and turn to the new visitor. Raymond says, "Excuse me, little fella, why don't you wipe your feet?" He says it and he's not joking, y'all. The girl takes off her helmet and it's a Baby Jo. "Who you calling 'fella,' fella?" she says with as much horrible acting as she can muster. Everyone celebrates that Jo had a daughter just like her. Jamie is her name. Everyone kisses and hugs and they all clearly know each other. Jamie says her dad is parking the bike. They ask where Jo is, and Jamie's dad says that Jo is in Los Angeles. No lie, Mrs. Garrett then says she knows the turnpike can be confusing, "but that's ridiculous!" Jo's sorry, but she's got to be in a trial or something. Maybe Jo's a cop or something. Natalie says they haven't seen Jo in "a LIFETIME." The dad asks if he can dump Jamie off with the girls since he's got some work to do on the Backstreet Boys' new album. They would love to watch the girl. He leaves and says he'll be back in a couple of days. Mrs. Garrett asks Jamie who the Backstairs Boys are. Apparently, they're horrible people who force daddies to work on Thanksgiving.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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