MONDO EXTRAS

The Fox Fall Press Junket: Sitcoms

by Sara M October 3, 2007
The Fox Fall Press Junket: Sitcoms

Ayda Field: "She's eating babies!"

Sara M: There are going to be protest riots outside your studio.

Ayda Field: Yeah, right, there's going to be a protest group against me that's, like, burning effigies.

Sara M: It's the most fun that you'll ever have.

Ayda Field: Eating babies?

Sara M: Yes, they are delicious and tender. Like veal.

Ayda Field: Only if you cook it right.

Sara M: Right, so, now I'm creepy. Moving on! I read in your profile that you got started in this business by auditioning for Days of Our Lives "on a lark."

Ayda Field: I just like the word "lark," that's why I put that down. [someone brings Ayda a plate of food with cheeses and fruits on it] Oh, you are so cool. Thank you. Look at that. Fruit, broccoli, and cheese! I feel like I've just been to France and back!

Sara M: They don't have broccoli in France.

Ayda Field: They don't have babies in France.

Sara M: No, they emerge fully-formed with little moustaches and berets.

Ayda Field: And brie.

Sara M: And loathing.

Ayda Field: An attitude problem.

Sara M: They surrender.

Ayda Field: They go on strike. "When I was born, I went on strike."

Sara M: They come out of the womb with little picket signs.

Ayda Field: I'm sorry, you're getting the bottom of the barrel right now.

Sara M: Are you kidding? This is the best interview I've done all day! And I write for a web site, so it really doesn't matter what you say.

Ayda Field: Oh, thank god!

Sara M: Kat Foster called me a reporter.

Ayda Field: Not really!

Sara M: I was like, "No, I'm not."

Ayda Field: Not a real one. Not a respectable one.

Sara M: I sit in my bedroom in my pajamas and write on a laptop.

Ayda Field: That's awesome.

Sara M: Oh, but then I had to get a real job, too.

Ayda Field: What? Oh no! Why?

Sara M: Well, you know...money.

Ayda Field: What is that about?

Sara M: It sucks! But my car was like, "I'm not working anymore," and I was like, "Shit, real job time."

Ayda Field: That's the only reason I'm acting. Gotta have money coming in.

Sara M: While I wait for the royalties to pour in from an essay I wrote for this book. They sent me a long email, and at the bottom they said they owed me absolutely nothing.

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The Fox Fall Press Junket: Sitcoms

by Sara M October 3, 2007
The Fox Fall Press Junket: Sitcoms

Sara M:...Yeah, the recorder's been on this whole time.

Ayda Field: Your interview headline is going to be: "Montana HATES BABIES."

Sara M: One of your first jobs was on Blue Collar TV. I actually know someone who wrote for that. You remember Liz Feldman?

Ayda Field: Oh, yeah, Liz. She's great, she's ace. I haven't seen her since...uh...2005?

Sara M: She was writing for the Ellen show for a bit. I think she won, like, two Emmys. She says they're heavy. Bitch.

Ayda Field: Whatever. I've got plastic Emmys, and they weigh a lot less.

Sara M: Yeah, my mom got me an Emmy for Best Daughter. I got it where it counts.

Ayda Field: I have a Golden Globe that says "Best Pet Owner," so how does that make you feel?

Sara M: The fake Hollywood Foreign Press is really reaching.

Ayda Field: Not very prestigious.

Sara M: So I know they're bringing you a plate of food --

Ayda Field: I can eat through this.

Sara M: I'm going to write down that you were eating babies.

Ayda Field: "She's eating babies!"

Sara M: There are going to be protest riots outside your studio.

Ayda Field: Yeah, right, there's going to be a protest group against me that's, like, burning effigies.

Sara M: It's the most fun that you'll ever have.

Ayda Field: Eating babies?

Sara M: Yes, they are delicious and tender. Like veal.

Ayda Field: Only if you cook it right.

Sara M: Right, so, now I'm creepy. Moving on! I read in your profile that you got started in this business by auditioning for Days of Our Lives "on a lark."

Ayda Field: I just like the word "lark," that's why I put that down. [someone brings Ayda a plate of food with cheeses and fruits on it] Oh, you are so cool. Thank you. Look at that. Fruit, broccoli, and cheese! I feel like I've just been to France and back!

Sara M: They don't have broccoli in France.

Ayda Field: They don't have babies in France.

Sara M: No, they emerge fully-formed with little moustaches and berets.

Ayda Field: And brie.

Sara M: And loathing.

Ayda Field: An attitude problem.

Sara M: They surrender.

Ayda Field: They go on strike. "When I was born, I went on strike."

Sara M: They come out of the womb with little picket signs.

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SHARE THE SNARK

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Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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