MONDO EXTRAS

Fish and Tits

by Wendola June 6, 2002
The Hamptons, Part I

Random Shirtless Guy continues to stand by the road and paint, in case you were wondering.

The Australian waitress and the Irish waitress have finally found a place, and they dart around the living room like ping pong balls and then they rush out to their car walking at approximately thirty mph and the car whooshes off and they get to the restaurant and zing around some more and then the restaurant owner zips outside and then we see a busboy whipping glasses into a plastic dishpan and then the restaurant owner goes and drives somewhere with the Irish waitress for some damn reason and his mouth is moving really fast but no sound comes out, but if it did he would be telling a gazillion stories all about the good old days in Montauk in the '70s, which is just one of the reasons why I've put the TiVo on fast-forward.

Christie Brinkley visits a flea market with her husband, Peter Cook, and her toddler daughter, Sailor. Sailor? The first time she ever goes to a gay bar, she'll be sorry she had that name. Christie and Peter blow bubbles, and Sailor frolics around chasing them for, like, ten minutes. The waitresses waitress and the Irish one meets James Lipton. Trashie Townie makes another appearance -- talking about going out at night and "the energy, and, like, to go out, and to feed off that energy." And then it's night, and she and another girl go out in tight jeans and skimpy tops. They saunter through a parking lot, where the other girl turns to the camera and flashes her tits. More footage of Trashie Townie wandering around bars and dancing and talking to people. I'm so glad they're going for the Friend Of The Tit-Flasher angle in this storyline.

Nancy Atlas is singing at the bar where Trashie Townie is hanging out. Nancy Atlas is a rock star by night and a waitress by day. In an interview, she talks about how weird that is. "It's getting to the point now where people are starting to recognize me." She's not a truly famous Hamptons person and she's not a complete nobody either, which leaves her with few qualities to make fun of, so I'll just move on to the birthday party for Christie Brinkley's kid, okay? Christie wears some sort of feathery party tiara thingy on her head and is really getting into the kiddie-party thing. She and the other moms set up a game of musical chairs. Ninety percent of the kids are completely unclear on the musical-chairs concept. The moms manage to get most of them going in a circle around the chairs. The music stops and the moms are like, "Okay, find a chair! Find a chair!" Christie tries explaining to the kids that they don't have to get back to the chair they had before. Somehow, they get the children to accept the fact that they're going to keep taking chairs away and not everyone will have a chair next time. I'm sure there's some sort of important Hamptons analogy in all this but I'm not sure what it is.

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Fish and Tits

by Wendola June 6, 2002
The Hamptons, Part I Random Shirtless Guy continues to stand by the road and paint, in case you were wondering. The Australian waitress and the Irish waitress have finally found a place, and they dart around the living room like ping pong balls and then they rush out to their car walking at approximately thirty mph and the car whooshes off and they get to the restaurant and zing around some more and then the restaurant owner zips outside and then we see a busboy whipping glasses into a plastic dishpan and then the restaurant owner goes and drives somewhere with the Irish waitress for some damn reason and his mouth is moving really fast but no sound comes out, but if it did he would be telling a gazillion stories all about the good old days in Montauk in the '70s, which is just one of the reasons why I've put the TiVo on fast-forward. Christie Brinkley visits a flea market with her husband, Peter Cook, and her toddler daughter, Sailor. Sailor? The first time she ever goes to a gay bar, she'll be sorry she had that name. Christie and Peter blow bubbles, and Sailor frolics around chasing them for, like, ten minutes. The waitresses waitress and the Irish one meets James Lipton. Trashie Townie makes another appearance -- talking about going out at night and "the energy, and, like, to go out, and to feed off that energy." And then it's night, and she and another girl go out in tight jeans and skimpy tops. They saunter through a parking lot, where the other girl turns to the camera and flashes her tits. More footage of Trashie Townie wandering around bars and dancing and talking to people. I'm so glad they're going for the Friend Of The Tit-Flasher angle in this storyline. Nancy Atlas is singing at the bar where Trashie Townie is hanging out. Nancy Atlas is a rock star by night and a waitress by day. In an interview, she talks about how weird that is. "It's getting to the point now where people are starting to recognize me." She's not a truly famous Hamptons person and she's not a complete nobody either, which leaves her with few qualities to make fun of, so I'll just move on to the birthday party for Christie Brinkley's kid, okay? Christie wears some sort of feathery party tiara thingy on her head and is really getting into the kiddie-party thing. She and the other moms set up a game of musical chairs. Ninety percent of the kids are completely unclear on the musical-chairs concept. The moms manage to get most of them going in a circle around the chairs. The music stops and the moms are like, "Okay, find a chair! Find a chair!" Christie tries explaining to the kids that they don't have to get back to the chair they had before. Somehow, they get the children to accept the fact that they're going to keep taking chairs away and not everyone will have a chair next time. I'm sure there's some sort of important Hamptons analogy in all this but I'm not sure what it is.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

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