MONDO EXTRAS

Blonde on Blah

by Wendola June 11, 2002
The Hamptons, Part II

Previously on The Hamptons: paint dried.

Oh yeah, and then Lizzie Grubman ran over a bunch of people.

Part II opens, as in Part I, with sweeping aerial shots of the Hamptons: the beaches, the lawns, and the mansions bravely maintain their spectacular fabulousness in the wake of the Grubman tragedy. Steven Gaines flips through a stack of newspapers with blazing headlines: "Assault With An SUV"; "IT WAS NO ACCIDENT"; "Lizzie Grubman Arrested"; "...YOU, WHITE TRASH"; "PR Woman, Enraged By Dull Documentary, Turns Violent." Gaines speculates that all the fuss has to do with the fact that she's blonde and rich and from a powerful family. Well, duh. Townspeople speak out: "I don't know if she was drunk or what...if a local did it, we'd be in a lot of trouble," says some girl. Jason Binn The Hamptons Magazine Guy says that he'd rather not hear what other people have to say until he speaks with the source and figures out whether he should still kiss her ass. Grubman speaks to news cameras: "I feel very sorry about the people that were hurt in the accident," she says, with an emotional range more typically heard in sentences like, "Thank you for visiting Burger King." She says that she didn't intend to hurt anyone or leave the scene, and that her lawyer has advised her not to divulge any further details at this time, and please pull around to Window Two to pick up your order.

Cut to a party, which is not a richie-rich-celebrity party nor a pukey-puke-ToolJosh party but instead is an honest-to-God party comprised of people who are all friends with and/or related to each other. We meet Ellen and Helen: Helen just got out of college and is working at her father's food market in the Hamptons, and Ellen is a friend working there for the summer; they seem like they're actually having fun. They figure out how to get into some exclusive nightclub. "My goal for the summer is to be invited to some very chi-chi fabulous party," says Ellen. "My ultimate goal is to have my picture in one of those Hamptons magazines," she laughs. The fact that they're barely out of college makes all of this very forgivable.

Famous people turn out for Jason Binn's party; it's a premiere party for Legally Blonde. Cast members from Sex & the City are there, plus some people that I guess I'm supposed to recognize but don't. Selma Blair teeters around for the photographers, looking so skinny you wonder why the force of those flashbulbs don't just knock her over. Reese Witherspoon shows up with Ryan Phillippe, who is wearing aviator sunglasses and appears to be trying really hard to look like rough trade, but instead looks very Bronski Beat. So, does everything with "blonde" in the title get a party in the Hamptons? Do Hamptonites party whenever Bob Dylan's Blonde On Blonde gets played?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

Comments

Blonde on Blah

by Wendola June 11, 2002
The Hamptons, Part II Previously on The Hamptons: paint dried. Oh yeah, and then Lizzie Grubman ran over a bunch of people. Part II opens, as in Part I, with sweeping aerial shots of the Hamptons: the beaches, the lawns, and the mansions bravely maintain their spectacular fabulousness in the wake of the Grubman tragedy. Steven Gaines flips through a stack of newspapers with blazing headlines: "Assault With An SUV"; "IT WAS NO ACCIDENT"; "Lizzie Grubman Arrested"; "...YOU, WHITE TRASH"; "PR Woman, Enraged By Dull Documentary, Turns Violent." Gaines speculates that all the fuss has to do with the fact that she's blonde and rich and from a powerful family. Well, duh. Townspeople speak out: "I don't know if she was drunk or what...if a local did it, we'd be in a lot of trouble," says some girl. Jason Binn The Hamptons Magazine Guy says that he'd rather not hear what other people have to say until he speaks with the source and figures out whether he should still kiss her ass. Grubman speaks to news cameras: "I feel very sorry about the people that were hurt in the accident," she says, with an emotional range more typically heard in sentences like, "Thank you for visiting Burger King." She says that she didn't intend to hurt anyone or leave the scene, and that her lawyer has advised her not to divulge any further details at this time, and please pull around to Window Two to pick up your order. Cut to a party, which is not a richie-rich-celebrity party nor a pukey-puke-ToolJosh party but instead is an honest-to-God party comprised of people who are all friends with and/or related to each other. We meet Ellen and Helen: Helen just got out of college and is working at her father's food market in the Hamptons, and Ellen is a friend working there for the summer; they seem like they're actually having fun. They figure out how to get into some exclusive nightclub. "My goal for the summer is to be invited to some very chi-chi fabulous party," says Ellen. "My ultimate goal is to have my picture in one of those Hamptons magazines," she laughs. The fact that they're barely out of college makes all of this very forgivable. Famous people turn out for Jason Binn's party; it's a premiere party for Legally Blonde. Cast members from Sex & the City are there, plus some people that I guess I'm supposed to recognize but don't. Selma Blair teeters around for the photographers, looking so skinny you wonder why the force of those flashbulbs don't just knock her over. Reese Witherspoon shows up with Ryan Phillippe, who is wearing aviator sunglasses and appears to be trying really hard to look like rough trade, but instead looks very Bronski Beat. So, does everything with "blonde" in the title get a party in the Hamptons? Do Hamptonites party whenever Bob Dylan's Blonde On Blonde gets played?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP