MONDO EXTRAS

Blonde on Blah

by Wendola June 11, 2002
The Hamptons, Part II

Spalding Gray points out that the Hamptons are on a peninsula fifteen miles downwind of the plant, and if there is ever some kind of nuclear accident, they're going to fry. Wow, somehow it didn't sound so bad when Christie Brinkley was pointing it out, but to hear it from Spalding Gray...oh, yeah, they're fucked.

At the STAR offices, Christie reads aloud the plaque on an award that will be presented to Billy Joel "For Contributing To The Fight For Clean Air, Clean Water, Clean Energy, And A Clean Environment By Divorcing Me So I Could Marry This Boring Guy Who Looks Like John Tesh And Be Thought Of As An Environmental Activist And Not Just 'The Model Who Married Billy Joel.'" Elsewhere, Billy Joel practices for the STAR Anti-Nuclear Benefit; even though it's in a high school auditorium, the front and center row seats are marked to show where the fabulous people will sit. Later, the press shows up, so do Michael J. Fox and his wife Tracy-What's-Her-Face; Alec Baldwin; Jerry Seinfeld; Kristin Davis yet again. Backstage, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley perform all kinds of see-we're-friendly-exes shenanigans. When he takes the podium to receive the award, he says that everyone's always asking he and Christie why they broke up because "he's so funny." "But I've met Peter [her husband], and he's funny." Everyone laughs. Peter Cook sort of manages to smile, the way the guys wearing heathered ecru piece-dyed wool cardigans in the Land's End catalogs sort of manage to smile. Then Billy Joel sings "Piano Man," and the audience sings along to the charming song about the nobodies in a bar somewhere.

More Lizzie Grubman stuff. Reporters turn up at the grand jury indictment hearing. Grubman walks out of the courtroom; apparently she got a PR team to handle her eyebrows. She has no comment.

In case you're still not convinced that people do really stupid things in the Hamptons, people dress up their dogs and cats and bring them to an art gallery devoted to awful paintings of dogs and cats. Meanwhile, Steven Gaines explains that Robbie used to drool all over the place when he rode in the car -- there's footage of him doing just that: he's like a geyser, that dog -- and although he's passed on, Gaines's car still smells of Robbie. "So I bought myself a grief present," says Gaines. It's a BMW convertible. "I'd rather have Robbie than have a new BMW, honestly, but as long as I was going to have to buy myself a new car, I'd figure I'd get one I really liked." He drives off with that certain flourish that says, "My dog is dead, and you can kiss my ass."

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Blonde on Blah

by Wendola June 11, 2002
The Hamptons, Part II Spalding Gray points out that the Hamptons are on a peninsula fifteen miles downwind of the plant, and if there is ever some kind of nuclear accident, they're going to fry. Wow, somehow it didn't sound so bad when Christie Brinkley was pointing it out, but to hear it from Spalding Gray...oh, yeah, they're fucked. At the STAR offices, Christie reads aloud the plaque on an award that will be presented to Billy Joel "For Contributing To The Fight For Clean Air, Clean Water, Clean Energy, And A Clean Environment By Divorcing Me So I Could Marry This Boring Guy Who Looks Like John Tesh And Be Thought Of As An Environmental Activist And Not Just 'The Model Who Married Billy Joel.'" Elsewhere, Billy Joel practices for the STAR Anti-Nuclear Benefit; even though it's in a high school auditorium, the front and center row seats are marked to show where the fabulous people will sit. Later, the press shows up, so do Michael J. Fox and his wife Tracy-What's-Her-Face; Alec Baldwin; Jerry Seinfeld; Kristin Davis yet again. Backstage, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley perform all kinds of see-we're-friendly-exes shenanigans. When he takes the podium to receive the award, he says that everyone's always asking he and Christie why they broke up because "he's so funny." "But I've met Peter [her husband], and he's funny." Everyone laughs. Peter Cook sort of manages to smile, the way the guys wearing heathered ecru piece-dyed wool cardigans in the Land's End catalogs sort of manage to smile. Then Billy Joel sings "Piano Man," and the audience sings along to the charming song about the nobodies in a bar somewhere. More Lizzie Grubman stuff. Reporters turn up at the grand jury indictment hearing. Grubman walks out of the courtroom; apparently she got a PR team to handle her eyebrows. She has no comment. In case you're still not convinced that people do really stupid things in the Hamptons, people dress up their dogs and cats and bring them to an art gallery devoted to awful paintings of dogs and cats. Meanwhile, Steven Gaines explains that Robbie used to drool all over the place when he rode in the car -- there's footage of him doing just that: he's like a geyser, that dog -- and although he's passed on, Gaines's car still smells of Robbie. "So I bought myself a grief present," says Gaines. It's a BMW convertible. "I'd rather have Robbie than have a new BMW, honestly, but as long as I was going to have to buy myself a new car, I'd figure I'd get one I really liked." He drives off with that certain flourish that says, "My dog is dead, and you can kiss my ass."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

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