MONDO EXTRAS

Blonde on Blah

by Wendola June 11, 2002
The Hamptons, Part II

It's August 30th, and Steven Gaines talks with Jeff Salaway, the proprietor of the legendary Hamptons restaurant Nick and Toni's. There's a wall filled with art drawn by the children of the famous people who go there. Gaines looks at the cute little stick figure drawings. "Some of those kids are grown up now," he says. It's true. The Hilton sisters grew up to be big stick figures. Gaines and Salaway sit in the restaurant, and Gaines points out that there's so much prosperity, and that the Hamptons are the closest resort to "the great financial center of the world," and are you getting freaked out? I am. And Gaines says, "I think this moment in time will be looked back upon as being this golden age." Now I'm getting really freaked out.

It turns out that Jeff Salaway left the restaurant that night and drove into a tree and was killed. "Hell of a way to end the summer," says one of the cops at the scene. Gaines sits in his kitchen, understandably flipped out. Steven! Why is this documentary getting so freaky all of a sudden. He says that during the interview with Salaway he kept talking about how good the chicken was at Nick and Toni's, and he gets up and goes to his fridge and shows us a takeout dish of chicken that Jeff Salaway had sent over. He talks on the phone with friends and repeats a joke that Salaway had made the night before, and starts laughing and crying. He hangs up the phone. "People are already worried about what to wear to the funeral," he says.

Pretty much all the celebrities we see in the earlier scenes turn up at Salaway's funeral. Oh, and Paul Simon, too. Is that bad of me to perk up when I see a celebrity I haven't seen before? But really, the whole thing is pretty sad.

Helen and Ellen got a picture in Hamptons magazine. Helen sits and laughs at the magazine, and then picks up the phone to call Ellen.

ToolJosh goes to the beach by himself and lays out a chenille throw. "In ten years? I definitely see myself married. Assuming, of course, that I can meet the right girl...I mean, my parents got divorced when I was nine....I don't know if I've ever really seen a healthy relationship." He shakes sand out of the chenille throw, which of course has all sorts of sad little motherly domestic signifiers that make us even more sad.

Nancy Atlas walks along the shoreline. Did you mind that I skipped recapping, like, three of her songs? No?

September 10th: the painter Julian Schnabel is painting his really overrated paintings at his cabin. "What's peaceful is when I can work -- I feel good when I'm working. When I'm not I'm pretty disturbed about just about everything." There are stunning shots of the sky. He starts talking about dreams for some reason, and how movies are like dreams, because people can die in them but then it's not really real, and he dreamt he was in a plane crash the night before. The scene fades out to black. Um, don't take this personally, Julian Schnabel, but now I never want to have a conversation with you. That is freaky, scary shit.

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Blonde on Blah

by Wendola June 11, 2002
The Hamptons, Part II It's August 30th, and Steven Gaines talks with Jeff Salaway, the proprietor of the legendary Hamptons restaurant Nick and Toni's. There's a wall filled with art drawn by the children of the famous people who go there. Gaines looks at the cute little stick figure drawings. "Some of those kids are grown up now," he says. It's true. The Hilton sisters grew up to be big stick figures. Gaines and Salaway sit in the restaurant, and Gaines points out that there's so much prosperity, and that the Hamptons are the closest resort to "the great financial center of the world," and are you getting freaked out? I am. And Gaines says, "I think this moment in time will be looked back upon as being this golden age." Now I'm getting really freaked out. It turns out that Jeff Salaway left the restaurant that night and drove into a tree and was killed. "Hell of a way to end the summer," says one of the cops at the scene. Gaines sits in his kitchen, understandably flipped out. Steven! Why is this documentary getting so freaky all of a sudden. He says that during the interview with Salaway he kept talking about how good the chicken was at Nick and Toni's, and he gets up and goes to his fridge and shows us a takeout dish of chicken that Jeff Salaway had sent over. He talks on the phone with friends and repeats a joke that Salaway had made the night before, and starts laughing and crying. He hangs up the phone. "People are already worried about what to wear to the funeral," he says. Pretty much all the celebrities we see in the earlier scenes turn up at Salaway's funeral. Oh, and Paul Simon, too. Is that bad of me to perk up when I see a celebrity I haven't seen before? But really, the whole thing is pretty sad. Helen and Ellen got a picture in Hamptons magazine. Helen sits and laughs at the magazine, and then picks up the phone to call Ellen. ToolJosh goes to the beach by himself and lays out a chenille throw. "In ten years? I definitely see myself married. Assuming, of course, that I can meet the right girl...I mean, my parents got divorced when I was nine....I don't know if I've ever really seen a healthy relationship." He shakes sand out of the chenille throw, which of course has all sorts of sad little motherly domestic signifiers that make us even more sad. Nancy Atlas walks along the shoreline. Did you mind that I skipped recapping, like, three of her songs? No? September 10th: the painter Julian Schnabel is painting his really overrated paintings at his cabin. "What's peaceful is when I can work -- I feel good when I'm working. When I'm not I'm pretty disturbed about just about everything." There are stunning shots of the sky. He starts talking about dreams for some reason, and how movies are like dreams, because people can die in them but then it's not really real, and he dreamt he was in a plane crash the night before. The scene fades out to black. Um, don't take this personally, Julian Schnabel, but now I never want to have a conversation with you. That is freaky, scary shit.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Next

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