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The Lone Ranger

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The Lone Ranger Rides Again
Over to Grace, Harmon's wife. My goodness, there are a lot of people in Dallas. Extras in period-appropriate costumes flit about everywhere. Grace is a pretty red-haired woman wearing a pink skirt. She heads into the Dallas Tribune offices and asks if she's got time to place a new ad. Emily Landry, a young woman wearing a shirt covered in ink, replies, "No. I think I can fit you in, Grace." She grabs a pad of paper and a pencil: "Just write it down here, I'm about to break for lunch. I'll set it after." She walks by Harmon's son, whose official names is Harmon, Jr., and says, "You can play with those, Little Man; just put them back in the same places, okay? I don't want to find out I'm publishing the Dallas Trombone!" She wipes her hands on her skirt and walks behind a wardrobe thingy to change. Damn you, Forrest Gump. You've ruined everything. Grace says, "We don't want to call it Hartman's Trading Post, which Harmon already thinks sounds old-fashioned. We want to call it Hartman's Department Store, and then we'll put all the items in their own department." Oh, people in the Wild West were so damn smart. Yawn. Emily makes a joke about men pawing at their "delicates" for a good reason. She walks over to Grace and asks, "Is he here yet?" Grace smiles and says next week. Emily says, "And he's really that cute?" Grace replies, "Just looks like Harmon did ten years ago." Um, except that Sebastian Spence and Chad Michael Murray don't look anything alike. They don't come close to even slightly resembling one another. But whatever -- the hammer is pounding away, reminding me that I'm supposed to be suspending my disbelief. Emily's off on some romantic reverie: "I look forward to making his acquaintance." Blah blah blah love interest-cakes part deux. The music blares as the band of Texas Rangers rides through the forest. Even though it's still mighty bright, Kansas says, "Whoa! We're going to run out of daylight soon enough. Why don't we drop camp and hit 'em in the morning." Harmon: "I'd say that's a plan! Let's camp!" The men heartily agree. A, ahem, lone rider comes up the path behind them. Kansas drops his bedroll and exclaims, "Who the hell's that?" Harmon Hartman grabs his binoculars, looks through them, and sees Luke riding up the dusty trail behind them. He says, "Aw, it's my brother, dammit." Chad has changed his clothes. He's taken off his suit and is wearing gear better suited to a Texas adventure. Harmon continues, "He's more stubborn than I am." Kansas slaps him on the back and jokes, "There's a frightening thought!" Oh, and Luke managed to find a horse and a ten-gallon, and then ride fast enough to catch up to the Rangers, who probably had a good hour's headway. Hell, he was even able to track their path through the good old Texas landscape. I'd say he's quite fit to become a hero. Yawn.

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Mondo Extra
The Lone Ranger

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The Lone Ranger Rides Again

The music blares as the band of Texas Rangers rides through the forest. Even though it's still mighty bright, Kansas says, "Whoa! We're going to run out of daylight soon enough. Why don't we drop camp and hit 'em in the morning." Harmon: "I'd say that's a plan! Let's camp!" The men heartily agree. A, ahem, lone rider comes up the path behind them. Kansas drops his bedroll and exclaims, "Who the hell's that?" Harmon Hartman grabs his binoculars, looks through them, and sees Luke riding up the dusty trail behind them. He says, "Aw, it's my brother, dammit." Chad has changed his clothes. He's taken off his suit and is wearing gear better suited to a Texas adventure. Harmon continues, "He's more stubborn than I am." Kansas slaps him on the back and jokes, "There's a frightening thought!" Oh, and Luke managed to find a horse and a ten-gallon, and then ride fast enough to catch up to the Rangers, who probably had a good hour's headway. Hell, he was even able to track their path through the good old Texas landscape. I'd say he's quite fit to become a hero. Yawn.

Back in town, Jake from Once & Again greets a Mr. and Mrs. Owens by asking them if they've enjoyed themselves. Mr. Owens replies, "Slept like a baby, Mr. Landry." Landry greets Grace, blathers on about the fact that she's going to make him a rich man, something about silk carpets, and then tells her that Harmon and the Rangers rode out that morning. Blah she's proud, blah she's not worried, blah he flirts, and blah they're friends, blah useless scene, blah wasting time blah.

Out in the woods, Harmon teaches Luke to shoot a gun. They've got pinecones set up on a fallen log. Are there pine trees in Texas? Harmon shoots! Then, he says, "Don't look at me like that. I'm only letting you stay here tonight because it's too dangerous to let you go back in the dark." Luke shifts his weight back and forth and smiles: "Sure, big brother, that's why you're teaching me to shoot?" Harmon explains that the last thing they want to do is shoot people. They're there for the law. For the order. Now aim! Luke looks, aims, then fires. He's a crack shot. So he giggles like a schoolgirl and jumps around hootin' and hollerin'. Harmon tells him to try it again. He does. And again he knocks the pinecone right off the dead tree. Harmon hands him another gun. Luke doesn't shoot just one, oh no -- he shoots all three. Harmon exclaims, "You are a dead shot. You are a natural!" They bond over Luke's hidden talents.

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