MONDO EXTRAS

The Miracle Worker

by Pamie November 11, 2000
The Miracle Worker

Annie tries to spell things to PG, but PG runs away whenever she senses Annie. The Captain is not amused.

Cue ShittyFlute. Annie wanders among some trees, as the sounds of ShittyFlute often prompt people to do. She stumbles upon a cottage in the acres of Keller Manor, takes off her glasses, and exhales.

Captain tells Mrs. Keller that he wants Annie out of the house. Annie walks in and demands to use the cottage to teach Helen. Captain: "If you're going to stay here, there's going to have to be a change in your attitude."

Pamie: "And your accent."

Captain asks Annie to take off her glasses. Much wincing and "I can't see" facial expressions ensue until Annie puts the lightest sunglasses ever back on. Annie says that it's hopeless to teach Helen in that house because everyone else coddles Helen. Mrs. Keller mentions that Helen could talk before the fever, but leaves out the important part where she only knew the word for water. Whatever. Annie leads Mr. and Mrs. Keller to the cottage.

Only the bed has cobwebs, so the place should be fine, but it's quite dirty.

Stee: And I'm going to teach Helen the word for "rats."

Pamie: And "spider bites."

Stee: Man, why are the parents protesting? They were about to get rid of her.

Pamie: I know. This is like a vacation.

Annie demands complete charge of Helen day and night. More Fists of Determination and Squints of Conviction. Annie tells the Kellers that she and her brother grew up in an asylum ("Our playroom was the dead house where they kept the bodies until they could dig the graves.") and that she doesn't want to send Helen there. Captain gives her two weeks. Mrs. Keller offers Percy to run errands. Annie accepts.

The cottage is now spotless and fully furnished. James drops off Annie's things and asks why Annie has no pity for Helen. Annie says pity is a waste of energy and feeling sorry for oneself is even worse. James tells her he hopes she wins. I hope that boy learns to shave soon.

Long carriage ride. PG is dumped off at the cottage, spotlessly dressed in blue. PG bumps around inside the house, flinching and looking towards Blindville until she finds a box full of toys. She signs "whore," and Mrs. Keller says, "Oh, she wants me." Annie says she can have her back in two weeks. PG bumps around signing "whore" for a while as the Kellers leave. PG goes into an immediate body-flinging tantrum and instantly destroys all glass in the house. Why would you -- oh, forget it. More pantaloons and yelling.

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The Miracle Worker

by Pamie November 11, 2000
The Miracle Worker Pamie: It's a -- Stee: What do you call that? A bonnet? A corset? Pamie: I'm not going to tell you. Stee: A bouquet? Pamie: A bustle. Stee: You're a bustle. Pamie: You've never seen this. Stee: Shut up. Pamie: Why does she keep looking out there? They must have a whole lot of people distracting her. Stee: It's called a camera crew. Pamie: Right. Stee: You've never seen this. The overhead cam takes us to a commercial. Late at night, the cello still sings its infernal song. Stee: Man, stop it with the cello. It's killing me. Pamie: I know. I wish I was blind and deaf. Annie watches PG huddle under the bed. Stee: Is this where the black guy comes to visit? Pamie: Very good. Stee: See! I've seen it! Pamie: You have. Stee: I win. Annie wakes up Percy and asks for his help. I think she signed "wake up" into his hand for some reason. She gets Percy to pull PG out from under the bed. PG hugs him, but he hates her. He thinks she'll pinch him. Annie gets him to feed her cake by spelling the word. PG stares right at us and eats her cake. Annie teaches Percy words until PG gets jealous and pushes Percy away. She slaps Annie's hand into her own and demands to have words spelled. Annie spells "milk." I'm so scared of Staring Pepsi Girl. Percy gets to go back to sleep. PG drinks some milk and then goes to the bed. Annie says, "At least I'm back to where I can touch you." Stee: You know, I said that to someone once. The Captain and Mrs. Keller share a moment. Annie is holding a doll and singing "The Mockingbird Song." She flashes back to evenings in the orphanage. Her brother sleeps with her as they listen to other babies sing. She sings "The Mockingbird Song" to him. Annie exhales a few times. Pamie: That's the cleanest orphanage I've ever seen. Stee: Is this Angela's Ashes? Man, don't they even get a sheet? Pamie: No. Haven't you ever seen Annie? Stee: Yeah, but there they had Carol Channing singing and dancing. Pamie: Carol Channing! Stee: I mean Burnett. Pamie: What a scary Annie it would be with Carol Channing. Montage of learning. Annie and PG walk through fields. They touch flowers. They touch leaves. They touch water. Music swells to romantic capacity.

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