MONDO EXTRAS

The Miracle Worker

by Pamie November 11, 2000
The Miracle Worker

Stee: You haven't lived 'til you've seen Michael Eisner do sketch comedy.

Back at Keller Manor, the perfect loaf of bread is pulled from the brick oven. It's not so hot that the slave girl can't just pick up the loaf off the wood block and stick it in the basket, though.

The Kellers decide to go get Helen.

Annie signs to PG that she's going home. PG starts putting her things away.

Stee: C-A-A. That's my agent. That's who I'm calling and firing for making me do this movie.

Mrs. Keller bumrushes the front door as Annie asks for more time. Mrs. Keller refuses and runs over to Helen, calling her name. Looks like the Kellers still have a lot to learn. Helen is very happy to feel her mother. They ride off in the long carriage ride, leaving Annie behind to sit on the Rocking Chair of Flashbacks and think about how her brother was separated from her once he caught The Fever. Annie continues talking through her flashback. Maybe it's holding the doll that causes it. I don't know.

Annie applies medicine to her eye and then tosses the rest of the medicine in her washbasin. Ew.

Stee: This is the only way liquid is going to come from her eyes at any time in this film.

Pamie: "F-A-K-E T-E-A-R-S."

James arrives to escort Annie back to the Manor. "Are you feeling sorry for yourself, Miss Sullivan?" he asks her. "Just this once. Yes," she answers.

Annie and James walk through the fields discussing the Captain.

Stee: "Would you like some hot sex, Annie?"

Pamie: Man, right about now that would be a miracle.

Annie tells him to stand up to the world. "He's a man, James. That's all. So are you." "Do you have any advice for me, Ms. Sullivan?"

Stee: "Acting class."

Pamie: "Wash off the stipple powder."

Mrs. Keller welcomes Crazy Aunt Lady back into the house to see the new Helen. Sitting like a scary purple doll, PG walks over to Crazy Aunt Lady and pats her face. Crazy Aunt Lady declares Annie a genius. Captain pays Annie and compliments her. Annie says she only taught PG "no," but wanted to teach her "yes." She asks for his help. "Don't undo what I've done." She asks him not to give into all of PG's whims. He promises to "try." Annie gives another music-worthy speech, but Captain dismisses it with, "I'll see you at supper."

PG walks around the house and takes all of the keys from the doors. She hands them to Mrs. Keller. Mrs. Keller puts the keys in her pocket as the music swells. "I think we've had enough locked doors around here." Fade to commercial.

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The Miracle Worker

by Pamie November 11, 2000
The Miracle Worker Pamie: "And I won't talk to the other farmer about your stupid weevils." Stee: "And I'm no longer calling you Captain. I'm calling you Lieutenant from now on." The Captain sits down and thanks James. Rock ON! We're almost done, people. Annie drags the drooling PG over to the water pump. She puts PG's hand on the pump and spells it. "P-U-M-P." Stee: She's making her learn all the Aerosmith albums. Pamie: "P-E-R-M-A-N-E-N-T V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N." Annie makes PG pump. PG signs "whore" again. Annie grabs PG and forces her to pump again. She puts PG's hand under the water that comes out of the pump. More pumping as PG starts to feel the water and squints. They fill the pitcher with water. PG starts running her hand through the water and opens her mouth. She stands. She drops the pitcher and it shatters next to her. She puts her hands to her mouth and starts making "Woo" noises. Close up on the "Woo" as Annie pumps faster. More "Woos." Annie nods, "Water, yes. Water. It has a name. Water." PG starts laughing and making more "Woo" noises and spells "Water" into Annie's hand. She spells out "pump." PG falls to the ground and Annie spells "ground." I'm misty because I'm remembering when this scene was good with Patty Duke. Stee: By Annie teaching her how to form words, is Helen now going to speak with an Irish brogue? Pamie: Man, Helen looks like she just got her Pepsi. Oh, the magical spelling scene. "Bush." "Flower." Stee: W-E-E-V-I-L-S. Pamie: P-I-N-O-C-C-H-I-O. Joyous laughter and hugging. PG rings the bell on the porch as Annie shouts, "She knows!" PG grabs Mrs. Keller and grabs Annie's hand. "Mother." Annie leads David Strathairn over and spells "Papa." Pamie: "H-E-Y, I-T-S T-H-A-T G-U-Y!" Everyone hugs the happy Helen. James smiles. Annie walks over to the pump and sits down like Mr. Belvedere rapping up another successful family trial. PG starts groping around and finds her way to Annie. Annie reaches out dramatically and finds PG. Annie spells "teacher" into PG's hand. PG spells it back. PG walks over to Mrs. Keller and pats on the keys. Mrs. Keller hands her the keys and PG selects one. Mrs. Keller spells out "key." PG spells back "teacher."

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