Mondo Extra
The MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In the Name of God, MTV, and The Fans
Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer should walk up there and bust a cap in his ass. Background dancers groan and moan around, hoping we won't take our eyes off the blonde in the horns. We don't, because she's big and blonde and we can see her panties. It all comes together in a horrible montage of suck, with dancers busting out the robot, lights flashing, and Jamie Foxx in a rip-away tuxedo. The blonde in horns pretends to give Jamie head. The audience cheers are noticeably quieter than they were when Jamie first stood there holding a hat. A DJ has to drum up applause, begging people to give it up for Jamie Foxx. The people on camera decide to clap. Jamie has to ask the audience a million times to make noise and has to give his own sound cues. Jamie tells us that he just got out of rehab to say some Mariah joke that bombs. There's a backdrop behind Jamie to help us understand "the funny." Clinton joke. Karaoke in Harlem. Clinton's got hos in different area codes. Mudvayne laughs because their record label is forcing them to be mainstream. Jamie Foxx goes on about P. Diddy's name, saying next year he'll just be called "Pihhh." G.W. joke. AJ joke. People moan and groan and No Doubt nods knowingly, for some reason. Eminem and Elton John jokes? Slim Shady jokes? What year is this? Jamie Foxx says he's too scared to make fun of Suge Knight. He sticks with the safer, 1989-friendly Michael Jackson jokes. "Kids get in free," you see. "Michael likes the kids."
Pamie: Hee hee! Man, here's another one where I just want to stick a shot of the look on your face in the recap. Stee: Hit pause. Stop everything. Pamie: Why? Stee: I need a break. Pamie: Already? It just started. Stee: Yes! Pamie: Why is there-- What's going-- Dammit! Every time we watch one of these things it makes me dumber and I can't complete a sentence. Stee: Was that a Michael Jackson joke? Pamie: Yeah. See, he's getting nervous. He's going blue.
Buckle your seatbelts, because as Jamie bombs bigger and bigger, he goes blue and sets that time machine back for jokes so old only your grandparents are giggling. Jamie tells us he was in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Giant sock joke. Bad puns and stupid visuals behind Jamie appear as our hair feathers and mousses itself to fit in with this sixteen-year-old content. Jamie then gives a little spoken-word that uses every single musician in the audience where he has to pause for thirty seconds in between lines so the audience knows to applaud.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
The MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
In the Name of God, MTV, and The Fans

Pamie: Everybody just yells all the time.

Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer should walk up there and bust a cap in his ass. Background dancers groan and moan around, hoping we won't take our eyes off the blonde in the horns. We don't, because she's big and blonde and we can see her panties. It all comes together in a horrible montage of suck, with dancers busting out the robot, lights flashing, and Jamie Foxx in a rip-away tuxedo. The blonde in horns pretends to give Jamie head. The audience cheers are noticeably quieter than they were when Jamie first stood there holding a hat.

A DJ has to drum up applause, begging people to give it up for Jamie Foxx. The people on camera decide to clap. Jamie has to ask the audience a million times to make noise and has to give his own sound cues. Jamie tells us that he just got out of rehab to say some Mariah joke that bombs. There's a backdrop behind Jamie to help us understand "the funny." Clinton joke. Karaoke in Harlem. Clinton's got hos in different area codes. Mudvayne laughs because their record label is forcing them to be mainstream. Jamie Foxx goes on about P. Diddy's name, saying next year he'll just be called "Pihhh." G.W. joke. AJ joke. People moan and groan and No Doubt nods knowingly, for some reason. Eminem and Elton John jokes? Slim Shady jokes? What year is this? Jamie Foxx says he's too scared to make fun of Suge Knight. He sticks with the safer, 1989-friendly Michael Jackson jokes. "Kids get in free," you see. "Michael likes the kids."

Pamie: Hee hee! Man, here's another one where I just want to stick a shot of the look on your face in the recap.
Stee: Hit pause. Stop everything.
Pamie: Why?
Stee: I need a break.
Pamie: Already? It just started.
Stee: Yes!
Pamie: Why is there-- What's going-- Dammit! Every time we watch one of these things it makes me dumber and I can't complete a sentence.
Stee: Was that a Michael Jackson joke?
Pamie: Yeah. See, he's getting nervous. He's going blue.

Buckle your seatbelts, because as Jamie bombs bigger and bigger, he goes blue and sets that time machine back for jokes so old only your grandparents are giggling. Jamie tells us he was in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Giant sock joke. Bad puns and stupid visuals behind Jamie appear as our hair feathers and mousses itself to fit in with this sixteen-year-old content. Jamie then gives a little spoken-word that uses every single musician in the audience where he has to pause for thirty seconds in between lines so the audience knows to applaud.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

Mondo Extra

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